Hello All You Couples (and Uncoupled Folks, too) --
It's no great secret that my dear bride and I have been
married for quite a while. And, as with most couples who stay
together for couple of decades, people occasionally ask for our
secret. It's very simple really... Raisin Bran.
I know people are quite surprised to hear that it could be
that easy, but it is. We almost always have raisin bran cereal
in the house, which is kind of surprising since my wife really
hates the taste of raisins. She isn't that hot about the bran,
either. She buys that particular cereal for me -- even though
she'll never eat it. We both try to do some things like that;
to look out for what the other person likes a little bit.
A small thing? Of course! Lots of small things. Thousands
of small things. What most people miss about relationships is
that all of the really critical important parts live only in the
daily details. The great and grand and exciting and tragic parts
sort themselves out almost automatically. Those things just
happen; you just deal with them and hang on as best you can.
It's the daily, minor things that cause bad feelings and creeping
insensitivity.
So many people are waiting for some grand revelation - some
epiphany that will allow them complete insight into what their
partner is thinking. It doesn't happen. I'm not sure I'm any
closer to understanding my wife now than I was 20 years ago. She
may feel the same about me, but I suspect she's made more
progress than I have. But you learn that as long as there is
love and respect, you don't have to be 100% in tune with the
other person all of the time. It is enough to know that there is
one other person in this world who always cares for and about
you. Someone you can always rely on without question, and who
can rely on you. Someone who loves you even when you've done
something really stupid. In fact, ESPECIALLY when you've done
something really stupid. Love doesn't mean never having to say
your sorry - love means never having to worry that the other
person will rub your nose in your most foolish flubs. Well, not
too often, anyway.
People we need to Thank this week include: Helen Yee and
Wayne Pecorah, Carol Becwar, Jack Gervais, Alison M. Becwar, Mark
Becwar, Brian Siegl, Naomi Ogawa, Rosana Leung, Jerry Taff,
Caterina Sukup, Laura Hong Li, Nnamdi Elleh, Kerry Miller, Larry
Sakar, Junji Taniguchi, Tim McChain, Joshua Brink, John
Michalski, Bruce Gonzo, Fumiko Umino and Peter Adler. Our best
to all of you and hope that you and your 'significant others' (if
any) always have smooth sailing.
Have A Blissful Week,
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"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut
afterwards."
- Benjamin Franklin
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A HAPPY MARRIAGE -- PRICELESS??
-----------------------------
Scientists, by their very natures, try to quantify and study
things. That even applies to social scientists, who in a recent
study determined that marriage brings as much happiness as
$100,000.
For their study, "Well-Being in Britain and the U.S.,"
Dartmouth College economist David Blanchflower and Andrew Oswald,
his University of Warwick colleague, studied 100,000 people over
a 25-year period.
People are wealthier than they used to be, but many people,
especially in the U.S., report that they are not as happy as they
were 25 years ago.
The bottom line is that money does buy happiness to some
extent, but far less than most people believe. As Blanchflower
said, "You have to have a lot of money to compensate you for a
family breakdown."
When the amount of happiness generated by a lasting
marriages was compared to the happiness produced by secure
finances, the authors were able to calculate that a lasting
marriage brought as much happiness as an additional $100,000 in
annual income. (Reuters)
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"Men and women, in marrying, make a vow to love one
another. Would it not be better for their happiness if
they made a vow to please one another?"
- Stanislas I, King of Poland
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DEPARTMENT OF MARRIAGE STATISTICS...
---------------------------------
Consulting various studies, SUNFUN has put together these
stats about marriage in America:
- Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same
woman if they had it to do all over again: 80.
- Percentage of American women who say they would marry the
same man: 50.
- 90% percent of bird species are monogamous.
- Only 3% of mammal species (including humans!) are.
- 40% of people married their first love.
- Only 4% of men asked the parents' approval for their bride's
hand.
- 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.
- 6% propose over the phone. [ And you thought romance was
dead... ]
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"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to
keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open."
- Groucho Marx
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UNLIKELY PROPOSALS
------------------
What is it about the Scandinavians? Looking through the
files here at SUNFUN Central, it seems that they are
exceptionally likely to propose marriage in odd and unusual ways:
- An unnamed copilot on SAS flight SK564 late last year
made a high-flying proposal on the airplane's intercom
system to his girlfriend, who was a passenger on the flight.
The plane was midway between Copenhagen and Oslo at about
35,000 feet at the time. His girlfriend said yes, but on
one condition: the wedding had better take place on the
ground. (CNN/AP)
----------
- Then there was the special offer that Frode Jonassen
heard in the supermarket. It was his girlfriend, on the
store's PA system.
"I love you and want to marry you," blared the voice of
his girlfriend, Tone Soerensen, over the tinny loudspeakers.
"You have 10 seconds to decide."
As people in the store counted down the time, the
surprised 30-year-old Jonassen managed to blurt out a "yes"
before time ran out, "But I was caught totally off guard
when I heard Tone on the loudspeakers," Jonassen said. (AP)
----------
- A person's occupation can certainly affect the way they
propose. That probably is the best explanation for the
recent marriage proposal by Haukur Magnusson, a guy in
Iceland who works in advertising. His solution? He took
out a 35-second prime-time ad on national television one
Saturday evening. Fortunately, his $900 ad hit its target
audience, as his girlfriend Soffia Marteinsdottir agreed to
be his bride when they met later in the evening. Her
comment on the TV proposal?
"It was a complete shock," she said. I could not
believe my own eyes. Of course I am going to marry him.
It's an offer you can't refuse." (Reuters)
[ "Operators are standing by. But WAIT!
There's more... If you act now, we'll also
include..." ]
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Courtship is like looking at the beautiful photos in a
seed catalog. Marriage is what actually comes up in
your garden.
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BRIDAL WAVE...
-----------
We have this idealized picture of the delicate, blushing
bride in her lacy white dress. But look out for brides when you
get them upset.
When a shop called "Bridal Designs" in California's San
Fernando Valley failed to open one weekend, dozens of angry women
besieged the store. Other bridal shops in the area had failed,
sometimes trapping the bride's wedding wear inside while the
owners' bankruptcies wound through the courts.
So, when a rumor surfaced that the 'Bridal Designs' store
was closing some of the delicate brides actually broke down the
doors to get their wedding gowns and accessories out.
Just a misunderstanding, according to shop owner Bruce
Anderson. He isn't closing; he just had to limit hours because
of a shortage of clerks to run the store. (AP)
[ Last we heard, L.A.P.D. is considering this as a
method of training riot control officers. ]
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"People are always asking couples whose marriages have
endured at least a quarter of a century for their
secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I
am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband
for not being Paul Newman."
- Erma Bombeck
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SOME THINGS YOU DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO HEAR AT THE ALTAR:
----------------------------------------------------------
- "Ring? What ring???"
- "And I know you will love my other personalities, too."
- "Funny... Even after 20 marriages I'm still excited!"
- "I know you'll just love Mother. She's waiting at the
motel."
- "Who are you? And what on earth am I doing here?"
- "We can still see other people, right?"
- "Did I tell you I used to be a man?"
- [Sings] "I love you. You love me. We'll make a happy
family..."
- "I can't wait to bring you home to meet my other wives."
- "Does this mean I'll have to get a job?"
- "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or
do will be held against in the court of law."
- "Did you keep the receipt for the ring?"
- "What do you mean the divorce isn't final?!"
- "Can I have a little more time to think about this ...
married thing?"
- "I take thee Debbie... I mean Sara to be my..."
- "How much life insurance do you have?"
- "Can we hurry this up? Baywatch is almost on!"
- "Love, honor, and obey" - Obey? OBEY!? Gimmie a break!"
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a
jury."
- George Burns
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THE NAME SOUNDS FAMILIAR...
------------------------
Everyone was at the wedding in Kissimee, Florida, Ronald
Legendre, his new bride Hope, his best man Ronald Legendre and
the presiding judge, a guy named Ronald Legendre.
Confusing, isn't it?
It turns out that 41-year-old groom Ronald L., who works at
a car dealership in Augusta, Georgia, met airline executive Ron
Legendre by accident a few years before, and the two had become
close friends. When young Ron L. decided to marry Hope, the
older Ron L. remembered that he'd heard of a judge in Florida
with the same name. None of the Legendres are related, so far as
they can tell.
"We just thought it would be a hoot to do," said the new
bride.
Too bad the judge's son couldn't attend the wedding. His
name? Ron Legendre, Jr. (AP/San Francisco Examiner)
[ Now that would be a Legendre wedding! ]
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FINAL ANALYSIS
--------------
A distraught man went to see his rabbi...
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening, and I have to talk
to you about it."
"What's wrong?" the rabbi asked.
The man replied, "I'm sure my wife is poisoning me."
"How can that be?" the rabbi asked, surprised.
The man pleaded, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's
poisoning me, what should I do?"
"I'll tell you what," the rabbi said. "Let me talk to her,
and I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the rabbi called the man and said, "I spoke to
your wife. We talked on the phone for over three hours. I think
now I understand her and know a little about her background and
how she feels about you. I feel I really have an understanding
of the situation now. So, do you want my advice?"
"Yes!!" the man blurted anxiously.
"Take the poison."
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© 2000 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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