APPELLATION SPRING

We're Taking Names Again...

Hello, Friends!
     What's in a name?  While a rose by another name may smell as
sweet, a change in name sure can make the difference in the 
career of people.  Don't think so?  Take the case of Bela Blasko
and William Henry Pratt.  Nothing very special about those names. 
They sound like they might be business partners in a furniture
store.  But as Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff, they frightened
moviegoers for decades.  And it's hard to believe that the
debonair Cary Grant would have been anywhere near as appealing if
he'd kept the name on his birth certificate: Archibald Leach.
     Names are critically important in promoting businesses, of
course.  Many companies have been paying big money over the past
few years to name stadiums and other public buildings after
themselves, including 3COM stadium in San Francisco and the
United Center in Chicago.  Despite the cash the stadium owners
get for these naming rights, this trend has it's disadvantages. 
Just ask the folks at Pro Player Stadium in Miami, Florida - home
to the Miami Dolphins and Florida Marlins.  The Pro Player
company is currently in Chapter 11 bankruptcy and likely to go
under, but there are still a few years left to run on the naming
agreement with the stadium's owners.  So the Florida fans may be
cheering for a few years in a field named "Creditors of Pro
Sports Stadium."
     Other names may have unexpected complications, too.   Just
this week, we heard from the fine folks at the P & S X-Ray
Company in Birmingham, Alabama.  I thought nothing of it until I
heard their receptionist carefully slow down to pronounce 
"__P__AND__S__ X- Ray" when answering the phone.  It took a few
moments before I realized why she would be so cautious not to
slur the syllables of the company name.  (Say it fast a couple of
times...)
     Speaking of names, this is where we traditionally list a few
names of folks who have contributed to SUNFUN, this week
including:  Jerry Taff, Jack & Sherrie Gervais, Carol J. Becwar,
Jan Michalski, Larry Sakar, Brian, Anita and Elizabeth Siegl,
Peter J. Adler, Tim McChain, The Peterson's, Mark Becwar, Alison
Becwar, Kathleen Beckmann and Caterina Sukup.  Hello and Thanks
to all of you for your support and contributions.  I just hope I
spelled all of your names correctly.
     Have A Great Week,


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

TAKE A LETTER...
-------------
     What's in a name?  Ask the education spokesperson for
Britain's Conservative Party, Theresa May.  In her work, she gets
many calls to speak before various groups.  But some calls
recently have been a little strange.
     "We do get telephone calls from time to time from people who
want to book me to do programs which are perhaps not about
politics," May said in an interview on BBC radio.
     It turns out that the Conservative Ms. May has a namesake
who is somewhat less buttoned-down.  Teresa May is a well-known
star of soft porn movies in England, known best for being
unbuttoned, when she wears clothes at all, that is.
     "The only difference is I am not with an 'h'," Teresa May
said.
     "If people saw us together there might be other
distinguishing characteristics," her namesake said. (Reuters)
          [ Teresa may what? ]


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

TAKE TWO...
--------
     Meanwhile, in Canada, a political party managed to change
names twice in one week, after the disastrous teasing they took
over their first name change.  Canada's Reform party formed the
new opposition coalition with some Conservative Party
politicians, calling it the "Canadian Conservative Reform
Alliance."  That was alright by itself, but when an early draft
of the group's constitution added the word "Party" to the mix,
the group immediately became known as "CCRAP."  They are
currently revising the name.  (Reuters)
          [ Funny.  I've always suspected that
          politicians couldn't see crap when it was
          right in front of them. ]


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

BACK TO THE FUTURE...
------------------
     Meanwhile, in Yekaterinburg, Russia, voters were faced with
familiar choices on the ballot - except that this time they would
get to choose between them.  That's because two of the opposition
candidates in the race for local governor are Brezhnev and
Stalin.
     Despite the names, it isn't that the old Soviet strongmen
are back from the grave.  Brezhnev is Andrei Brezhnev, the
grandson of late Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev and Stalin is 
pensioner Tornike Stalin.  (Reuters)


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

LIKE A VIRGIN...
-------------
     No, it's not the beginning of a dirty joke.  These two
Virgins are two British companies that ended up in a dispute
about who owns the name.
     The most famous of the two is Richard Branson's business
empire that spans music stores, an airline, mobile phones and
construction.  In connection with the last of these businesses,
the Virgin Group's high priced lawyers sent a stern notice to
"Virgin Building Services" of Cardiff, Wales.  If the Cardiff
company didn't stop using the copyrighted name, the letter
warned, they'd be hauled into court.
     "How can a company the size of Virgin come after me? I'm
just a small businessman and they can't stop me from using my
name," said Roger Virgin, who operates Virgin Building Services.  
I've got a good mind to take them to court, but I just want a
simple apology," he said.
     Roger also pointed out that he has been a Virgin longer than
the Virgin Group has.  (Reuters)
          [ One of the few times you'll hear someone
          brag about it in public. ]


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

GUMMING UP THE WORKS...
--------------------
     Singapore is serious about a few crimes that are taken
pretty lightly elsewhere.  One of these is chewing gum.  That's
right, if you have a serious Wrigley's monkey on your back,
Singapore wants you to know that you can go to jail just for
bringing a supply into the country.  You don't want to know what
they have in store for those misguided masticators who do bubble
gum.  Even people convicted of trying to import gum may face a
year in jail and fines of up to $6,173.
     Yup, they're serious alright.
     Lately, the government there has become concerned about the
growing popularity of mail order catalogs and the Internet, which
might allow gum-addicted locals to order their stocks from
overseas.  That is still illegal, the government insists, with a
government spokesperson saying bluntly, "The importation into
Singapore of any chewing gum is prohibited."
     Now, what does this have to do with this week's name topic? 
Not much, except that the spokesperson issuing this warning was
named Ms. Chew.  (AP)
          [ Chew Lai Leng for those of you stuck on the 
          details. ] 


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

SQUAWK BACK...
-----------
     Two counties in northern Minnesota failed to follow a new
state law last year which prohibits place names containing the
word "Squaw."  That word has been declared by the state
legislature to be offensive to many American Indians.
     Lake County attempted to comply with the law by renaming the
local geographical features "Squaw Creek" to "Politically Correct
Creek" and "Squaw Bay" to "Politically Correct Bay."
     The Department of Natural Resources has vetoed those names. 
A spokesman for the department says he hopes the counties will
"just quietly do the right thing."


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

BIG CATS...
--------
     We've already mentioned how companies are sponsoring sports
stadiums and the like by renaming them.  Just when we thought
things couldn't go any further, we have this.
     An Australian football team named the "Geelong Cats" has
been in financial trouble for some time, but they may have turned
the situation around with a deal said to be worth between
A$100,000 (US$66,000) and A$200,000.  And they don't even have to
change the signs on the stadium.
     What they did was have team captain Garry Hocking change his
own name to "Whiskas" - the name of the popular cat food.
     "I'm probably going to cop a little bit of flak, but I see
it as a great thing for the footy club and Whiskas," Hocking
(sorry, Whiskas) said.  (Reuters)


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

CAN'T PLACE THE NAME?
--------------------
     Ever look at a road map and wonder how some places get their
names?  Asking the local folks isn't always much help, since they
often don't know what their towns' name means, either.  It makes
you wonder just what the old settlers were drinking when they
came up with some of the names.  And how much.
     In some towns with funny names, such as tiny Climax,
Michigan between Battle Creek and Kalamazoo, historical markers
help to explain.  Climax - for years the brunt of racy humor -
got its name because settlers Judge Caleb Eldred and Daniel B.
Eldred declared the spot "climaxed the end of their search" for
land, according to a historical marker.  Of course we believe it,
right?
     But nobody down the road in Leonidas (pronounced
Lee-on-a-dis) appears to know how that Michigan town got its
name.
     "As far as I know, nobody has a clue," said postmaster Casey
Crabtree.  Leonidas was a Greek general but there's no one here
who's Greek, so I don't know."
     And then there's the small town of Colon.  There are two
theories why that city has the name.  The first is that the early
settlers picked the name at random from a dictionary, but most of
the locals think that the two lakes surrounding the town reminded
someone of the large and small intestines.  And yes, people in
town are pretty tired of all of the "just passing through" jokes.
(Battle Creek Enquirer / AP)


 - Other odd places in the U.S.:

   Bunlevel, North Carolina  Bivalve, New Jersey
   Big Bone Lick, Kentucky   Hygiene, Colorado 
   Cheesequake, New Jersey   Kissimmee, Florida 
   Grand Detour, Illinois    Bowlegs, Oklahoma
   Rural, Wisconsin          Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania
   Gnaw Bone, Indiana        Lake Five, Wisconsin
   Slopchoppy, Florida       What Cheer, Iowa
   Crummies, Kentucky        South of the Border, South Carolina
   Difficult, Tennessee      Monkey's Eyebrow, Kentucky 
   Ordinary, Kentucky        Asylum, California
   Cut and Shoot, Texas      Stinkingwater Mountains, Oregon
   Pain, Louisiana           Noodle, Texas
   Kodachrome Basin, Utah    Double Tollgate, Virginia
   Hell, Michigan            Looneyville, West Virginia
   Dull Center, Wyoming      Pickle Street, West Virginia
   Imalone, Wisconsin        Truth or Consequences, New Mexico


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

EIGHT O'S, NOT ALL IN A ROW DEPARTMENT
--------------------------------------
     Two tourists were driving through Southern Wisconsin.  As
they drove into the small city of Oconomowoc, they started
arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.  They argued
back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
     As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the cashier,
     "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for
us?  Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" 
     The blonde girl leaned over the counter and carefully
pronounced, "Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing." 
          [ Sure is a good thing they weren't down the
          road in Mukwanago! ]


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--