Hi, All!
I guess I will have to resign myself to the idea that I'm
never going to make any huge fortunes. Not that I'm desperately
poor or anything, but by this time in my life, I'm pretty sure
I'll never get to the point where Donald Trump will drop
everything to return my phone calls.
Many people seem to think that they would be really happy if
they only had more money. They are usually wrong. Some of the
happiest people I ever met have been pretty darned poor. For one
thing, they never have to worry about losing their money. On the
other hand, it is nice to have just enough to be comfortable and
know that you never have to worry about paying the bills, just as
long as you don't do something stupid like buying a yacht or
investing in racehorses.
Money may not buy happiness, but it isn't bad for a down
payment.
Thanks this week to all of you who have contributed to
SUNFUN. By the way, for those of you still wondering, that's
contributed only in the sense of sending stories or moral
support. Just thought I'd better make that clear to those of you
new to this little festival. And it's always good to make it
clear to those nice folks at the IRS, too. Really guys, I don't
make a nickel on this thing. Enough of the financial hoorah...
Thanks this week to our friends and supporters: Anna Macareno,
Carol J. Becwar, Len Garver, Alison Becwar, Howard Lesniak, Jan
Michalski, Jerry Taff, Kerry Miller, Fumiko Umino, Larry Sakar,
Bernie & Donna Becwar, Mark Becwar, Joshua Brink, Tim McChain,
Meredith & Yasmin Leischer, John & Ellen Peterson, Ria Chiu,
Caterina Sukup, Bruce Gonzo, Beth Butler and The Adlers (John
Michele Pete Katy). Time to get on with it -- after all, don't
they say that time is money?
Have A Financially Sound Week,
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
THE BANK JOB
------------
Deutsche Bank, the ultra-conservative German bankers
recently sponsored a two-day seminar for about 200 of it's top
managers in Berlin. As part of the event, they decided to hire
avant garde director and film maker Christoph Schlingensief to
come up with an appropriate plan to celebrate the event with an
appropriate "tribute to capitalism."
Schlingensief had a plan alright... His only mistake was
telling a magazine writer about it beforehand, saying, "I'm
calling our culture program 'Save capitalism.' I can only urge
the fans of Deutsche Bank to be there on time."
Or maybe, a little early. That's because Schlingensief's
plan to save the economy was to throw nearly $53,000 in 10-Mark
notes off of the top of Germany's Reichstag to a waiting crowd
below.
"Money is the only thing that really gets people moving,"
said Schlingensief, 38. "We'll throw the money away and (your
readers) can pick it up. That's culture for the masses."
A bank throwing money off of a public building? The bank
managers were a little less than thrilled at being associated
with a money toss. So thrilled that they may have damaged
Schlingensief's finances a little - they immediately fired him.
(Reuters)
[ Too bad really... Wouldn't you have loved
to have seen the banker's faces when the
money came fluttering down? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
CASHING IN
----------
Hey! Has the U.S. Government got a deal for you. You can
buy 4 genuine $1 bills for only $11.50, only about 300% what they
are worth at the local McDonald's.
What's more, you can't spend them as they are, since they
still need to be cut apart. The U.S. Bureau of Engraving and
Printing suggested that these uncut sheets would make perfect
gifts or souvenirs. But they didn't quite go so far to suggest
that you use them as wallpaper for that perfect "Bill Gate's
Modern" look in the guest bathroom. Besides the singles, full
sheets of $5 bills were available for just $190 ($160 if cut up).
"I wouldn't buy it myself," one Boston Fed employee said of
the sheets, which come in cardboard folders. "A 300 percent
markup seems a bit much." (Reuters)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE TOLL TOLLS...
-------------------------------
It was only 1.20 pounds. That is the toll to use the tunnel
under the Mersey River in Chester, England. Only thing is, the
driver didn't have any cash. Neither did his assistant.
They didn't expect that they'd have to pay the toll, since
they were driving an ambulance transporting a 74-year-old woman
who was having trouble breathing to the hospital. The hospital
on the other side of the river. The paramedics explained there
was a sick patient on board, but the toll booth attendant and his
supervisor refused to allow the ambulance through without paying
up, according to the ambulance service.
Fortunately, the nurse on board had some change with her, so
they were able to get the lady to the hospital after only a 15-
minute delay.
The tunnel operator's explanation? It didn't look like the
ambulance was in a hurry. (Reuters)
[ Repeat after me folks: Taxi, Yellow.
Ambulance, White. Taxi, yellow... ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
NO FREE LUNCH...
-------------
There comes a time for some people when they have simply run
out of money. Overdrawn. Flat broke.
That time came for Cleo Lightfoot from England last year,
and she petitioned the court for permission to restructure her
debts of greater than $90,000 US. That is, to not pay up.
Of course, said the sympathetic court. But there is the
official filing fee for bankruptcy of 250 pounds (about $400 US).
Except that Cleo didn't have the 250 pounds.
She petitioned the Court of Appeal, arguing that it was
pretty unfair to demand money from someone who was legally
declaring that they had no money.
Nope, still have to pay, said the court, though Lord Justice
Simon Brown did say that he sympathized with her plight and
people like her who, "face...a lifetime of unrelieved
indebtedness." (Reuters)
[ Now that's helpful. With his sympathy, she
might be able to buy a cup of tea - if she
has the cash to pay for it. ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
COOL MILLIONS...
-------------
If having too little money is lots of trouble, how can it be
that having too much can be just as bad?
OK, many times having too much isn't a problem, but try
telling that to one recent guest at a Miami Springs, Florida
hotel.
The guest was just leaving the hotel with a small luggage
cart carrying a large cooler, when the luggage cart broke
dropping the cooler to the floor. Shocked hotel workers were
amazed as hundreds of plastic-wrapped packets of $20 bills
scattered across the lobby.
The guest quickly recovered the bundles of cash and ran back
to his room, with police and customs agents close behind. They
found the money -- almost $2 million -- under the guest's bed.
He claimed that the money wasn't his and he had no idea how
it had gotten under his bed.
With such a believable story, the guest was soon in the
cooler, himself. (Reuters)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
BRINGING HOME THE BACON...
-----------------------
Call it a cash flow problem. Many of the farms in the
former Soviet Union have fallen on hard times with the Russian
economy in the tank. Things are especially bad in the former
Soviet province of Estonia.
"Each month we are working at a 400,000 kroons ($26,300)
loss. If we get money at all, it goes to pay the electricity,
bank and taxes," said local cooperative chief Ulo Saluaar.
So the farms have taken to paying their workers in barter,
issuing their salaries in smoked sausage and ham. And newspaper
reports from there say that the workers are fed up with the
practice, which has recently led to work stoppages and other
protests. (Reuters)
[ Would that make them the world's wurst-paid
workers? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION...
------------------------------
As summer jobs go, it didn't sound all that promising. A
small Silicon Valley company offered 17-year-old Hans Pang a
summer job in tech support for the company executives. Only one
problem -- they didn't have the money to pay him.
But Pang said that he "likes being around cool machines," so
the offer didn't sound too bad. Instead of a regular salary,
Pang agreed to take an option of 750 shares of Alteon Websystems
stock.
Good choice. His just-over-minimum-wage job would have
netted the high school student just under $4,000 for the summer.
But with the run-up in E-commerce stocks, Pang finds himself with
a tidy portfolio worth a little over $100,000 after the company
went public. (Reuters)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
TOWARDS A CASHLESS SOCIETY...
--------------------------
There has been so much talk in the media over the past year
about how the coming of E-commerce is the development that will
finally end the use of cash. I didn't think so at the time.
I may have been wrong.
The thing that convinced me was a proposal in San Francisco
to bring virtual finances to a sector of the economy not usually
considered when economists discuss trade policy. After all, it
is rare for the masters of the economic universe to consider
folks who reside in dumpsters.
But the proposed law in San Francisco aims to fix that by
equipping homeless beggars with credit card machines that could
"swipe" donations from VISA and other bank cards. The inventor
of the idea says that it would be perfect for contributors long
on generosity but short on cash.
"What we're looking at is creating a means for homeless
people to sustain themselves," said Karen Gatter, who dreamed up
the idea.
But Paul Boden of the city's Coalition on Homelessness
didn't seem to think much of the idea.
"I think there's a couple of levels where it's just
bizarre," he said. (Reuters)
[ That certainly would eliminate the argument
that you "Don't have any change." ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
THE PARTY OF THE FIRST PART...
---------------------------
A sugar company employee in Kenya had quite a retirement
party recently.
After receiving his full 270,000 shilling ($3,600 US)
pension, he stopped off to treat all his friends to drinks at the
nearby bar. There he met a woman he fancied, and the two
proceeded to get thoroughly plastered, buying round after round
for everyone in the place until the bar ran out of beer.
When that happened, the newfound lovers staggered off to a
hotel.
Upon awakening with a headache the size of Mt. Kilimanjaro,
the former pensioner discovered that the woman was gone, as was
the remaining part of his pension. She was last seen boarding a
long-distance bus around dawn. (Reuters)
[ Gives the term 'one night stand' a whole
new meaning, doesn't it? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
WHO WANTS TO DIVORCE A MILLIONAIRE?
----------------------------------
Lots of married couples argue about money. Lots of people
break up over money. But not Thomas and Denise Rossi. Couldn't
happen. Friends said that they were so close that they even
shared the same toothbrush.
But that was before Denise won $1.3 million in the
California lottery. $1.3 million that she didn't bother
mentioning to the perennially broke Thomas.
But he did find out about the divorce when he got the papers
11 days later. They divorced and Thomas went bankrupt, but she
never bothered to mention that she was a millionaire. In fact,
the 65-year-old photographic technician didn't learn about the
money until two years after the divorce, when a mis-directed
payout check from the lottery ended up in his mailbox.
Naturally that sent the matter back to court, where the
jilted Thomas extracted sweet revenge on his stingy ex-wife.
Community property laws in California forbid either partner from
concealing assets. According to a disposition presented as
evidence, she did not want her husband of 25 years "getting his
hands on" the money.
The judge disagreed and awarded him all the lottery winnings
on the grounds that his former wife acted out of fraud or malice
in concealing her fortune.
"He did not have a clue about the lottery win" said Thomas'
attorney. It was pure serendipity that he found out. The moral
of this story is that honesty is the best policy."
"She is obviously not very happy," said Marilyn Wise, one of
Denise's lawyers. (Reuters)
[ Not happy? Why is it that doesn't surprise
me... ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
© 2000 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
![[ BACK]](btn_rwdr.gif){kind=small}
![[NEXT]](btn_fwdr.gif){kind=small}