ART FOR ART'S SAKE

We Paint Ourselves Into A Corner...

Hello, Fellow Critics...
     People like to portray our age as somehow lacking in art. 
Nothing could be further from the truth.  Maybe more than any
people in history, we are surrounded by art.  We are swimming in
art.  Much of it is advertising or graphic arts, of course, but
it is almost inescapable.
     When it comes to art, I'm pretty much like everyone else: I
can't say that I'm any kind of expert on art, but I know what I
like.  I can't always appreciate the niceties of form and flow
and I'm not ashamed to say when I don''t get the point of
something.  That large block of stone or concrete that the
University of Wisconsin bought to put outside of Curtain Hall in
Milwaukee still looks like a giant steam radiator painted gold to
me.  But I'll bet it cost about 10,000 times more.
     I listened in dismay one time to a TV program where two art
critics were discussing Salvador Dali's work.   What really
bothered me about this was that neither of them even expressed
the obvious conclusion that Dali was:
     1) A seriously bent person,
          and,
     2) Having a really good joke at the expense of critics.

     The point of at least some modern art seems to be to see
what you can get away with.  That's even worthy of praise when it
is to extend the boundries of art or to express ideas in a new
way.  But then there are the other kind.  I may not know much
about art, but I smell a scam when I think of that the woman who
paid one "sculptor" many kilo-bucks for a piece that consisted of
three standard urinals mounted on a board.  By any definition,
that's not great art, just bad plumbing.  On the other hand she
was very lucky: it could have been a performance piece.
     Thanks this week to our good friends and critics:  Beth &
Jim Butler, Jerry Taff, Carol Becwar, Tim McChain, Jan Michalski,
Diana Lee, Fumiko Umino, Sachiko Sumida, Peter J. Adler, Ann
Glomski, Caterina Sukup, Kerry Miller, Chuck Maray, R.J. Tully,
Anna Macareno, Tom & Michelle Stricker, Laura Hong Li, Joshua
Brink and Yasmin & Meredith Leischer.  Now it's time for me to
get back to my painting.  That's right, the back hall here at
SUNFUN Central really needs another coat...
     Have An Artistic Week,


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WISCONSIN THANKS YOU...
--------------------
     A New York artist named Cosimo Cavallaro covered a hotel
room with a thousand pounds (450kg) of melted cheese, which was
draped from the ceiling fan and spread over the walls and carpet. 
When someone asked why, Cavallaro said "why not?"
          [ Wonder if this art dude is related to a
          family of carpet cleaners? ]


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GRANT PROPOSAL...
--------------
     "I would be thrilled if I got a $25,000-a-year grant for the
     rest of my life.  I don't want money for any lofty goals.  I
     want it just because I'm lazy and tired." 
                            - Performance artist Bob Powers, in
                              an April, 1998 interview in The
                              Village Voice. 

     [ Among Mr. Powers's recent works: a free-verse poem
     called "Ode to a Buttered Roll"  ("How do you do it? 
     Sixty cents.  So tall, so round, so many poppy seeds. 
     Sixty cents... .  One corner deli owner tried to charge
     75.  Sixty cents.") and a performance in which he
     simply repeated one sentence ("No, but I gave you a
     20.") dozens of times. ]


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BIG MONEY ART STUFF...
-------------------
     Here are some of the more odd "conceptual" or "Minimalist"
art pieces that have been sold over the past few months.  It
certainly does give the impression that some folks have more
money than sense.  Check these masterpieces:

   - Bruce Nauman's concrete block with a tape recorder playing
     inside featuring a woman screaming ($288,000)

   - Sigmar Polke's four canvases containing only incorrect
     mathematical equations ($882,000)

   - On Kawara's seven canvases featuring only the dates May 1-7,
     1971 ($574,000).

     Then there's Boston artist Paul Richard's latest showing. 
Richard is the guy who became moderately famous a while back for
a showing which consisted of having patrons file by while he ate
lunch.
     Last February he came up with something even more direct: an
art show in a room that was completely empty except for a stack
of $20 t-shirts for sale.
     "Usually you go to an opening and nobody looks at the art
anyway," he explained.
          [ And he gets paid for this? ]


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THE ART OF FINE DINING?
----------------------
     You would figure that a cafe on Tel Aviv's artistic Shenkin
Street would serve something artistic, exotic and maybe a little
pretentious.  The menu for Cafe Ke'ilu certainly would make you
think so, featuring eel mousse, salad of pomegranates (in season)
and ram's brain in lemon-lime sauce.
     Actually, the cafe serves nothing.
     Cafe Ke'ilu - the name can be translated as "Cafe Make
Believe" - is the world's first experience in "conceptual
dining."  Conceptual as in the idea of dining.  And only the
idea.  Hitting on the idea that most of the really trendy people
go to such cafes just to see and be seen, top-rated Swiss chef
Phillipe Kaufman came up with the logical end point, a cafe that
serves empty plates and dry cups.
     Not that nothing comes cheap - the cafe charges three
dollars (11 shekels) during the week and six (22 shekels) on
Fridays.  Not bad pay for nothing.
     "Here, we practice the pure ritual of eating," said one
customer as he watched the Shenkin district's colorful parade of
characters, but left his coffee cup untouched.  "Here I feel I am
wanted, and it's a nice place to sit."  (AP)
          [ And the place is such a bargain!  You get
          as many free refills as you want... ]


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PICTURE THIS...
------------
     Gallery X in New Bedford, Massachusetts held a show recently
that attracted even more attention than usual.  But some of that
attention was unwelcome to the arts community.  One guy stopped
to chat with the artist helping to host that exhibition, then
grabbed about $100 from a large plastic jug containing donations
and ran.
     This really provides a good example of the danger of
stealing from artists.  When police showed up, the artist was
able to provide them with an accurate sketch of the thief.  So
accurate that police had no trouble identifying the suspect when
they found him in a nearby cafe.  (AP / New Bedford Standard
Times)
     [ You could say that the crook was caught by someone
     quick on the draw... ]


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LET'S BE FRANK...
--------------
     Real quick now, does this sound like a good idea: take off
all your clothes, lay down on a low-hanging cypress branch and
cover yourself in finely-ground hot dog meat, then invite a pack
of dogs to take a sniff?
     In most of society, that kind of kinky conduct would earn
you a free pass to the nearest giggle academy.  But not if you
are an artist.  Especially not in San Francisco, where
performance artist Zhang Huan performed exactly this goofy stunt
last May.
     Zhang's appearance was part of an exhibition at the Asian
Art Museum called "Inside Out: New Chinese Art."   His
performance, called "Dream of the Dragon," was intended to 
"explore the physical and psychological effects of human violence
in modern society."  At least, that's what the artist claimed.
     The performance ended abruptly in a small demonstration of
violence when one of the dogs mistook Zhang's caboose for kibble
and bit the artist on the backside.  (AP)
          [ Butt is it art? ]


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A PRACTICAL MODERN ART
----------------------
     A tourist wandered into a back-alley art shop in San
Francisco's Chinatown.  Picking through the objects on display he
discovered a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat.  The sculpture
is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the
shop owner the price.
     "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," said the shop owner, "and
an extra thousand for the story behind it."
     "At that price, you can keep the story, old man," he
replied, "but I'll take the bronze rat."
     The transaction complete, the tourist left the store with
the bronze rat under his arm.  As he crossed the street in front
of the store, two very live rats emerged from a sewer drain and
fell into step behind him.  Nervously looking over his shoulder,
he began to walk faster, as he went along, he noticed that more
and more rats were following.  By the time he had walked two
blocks, at a few dozen rats were at his heels, and people began
to point and shout.  Then he walked even faster, and soon broke
into a trot as multitudes of rats swarmed from sewers, basements,
vacant lots, and abandoned cars... following him.
     Rats by the hundreds were at his heels, and as he saw the
waterfront at the bottom of the hill he panicked and started to
run full tilt.
     No matter how fast he ran, the rats kept up, thousands of
them squealing hideously, so that by the time he reached the
water's edge a trail of rats twelve blocks long was behind him.
     Making a mighty leap, he jumped up onto a lamp post, and, in
desperation, he hurled the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay as
far as he could throw it.
     Clinging to the post, he watched in amazement as the
seething tide of rats surged over the breakwater into the sea,
where they drowned.
     Shaken and numbed, he made his way back to the art dealer's
shop.
     "Ah sir, you've come back for the story," said the owner,
smiling.
     "No," the tourist said, "I was just hoping you might have a
bronze sculpture of a lawyer... " 


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INCREASING PERSPECTIVE
----------------------
     A kindergarten teacher was watching over her classroom of
children while they drew pictures.  She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's artwork.
     As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
she asked what the drawing was.
     The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
     The teacher smiled and said gently, "but no one knows what
God looks like."
     Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the
girl replied, "They will in a minute."


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