Hello again, All!
If you've been following along with all of the famous legal
actions of the last year, you could really begin to believe that
the legal system is going through a crazy time. As usual, things
go through fads. It's hard to avoid the idea that at least some
of these strange lawsuits must be filed for their entertainment
value. Those of you from outside the US might not understand
that, under our law, you can file a suit against anyone for
anything. Most of these suits were thrown out on their first
court hearing. But it is still amazing that someone would try in
the first place!
Now, don't sue me if I leave out your name from the thank
you list, but thanks this week to: Peter Adler, Kerry Miller,
Lydia Cheong Chu-Ling, Beth Butler, Ellen Peterson and Dick
Ginkowski. Now, put on your law suits and off to court.
Have a great week,
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PRISONER'S SONG DEPARTMENT...
--------------------------
Recent lawsuits filed by prison inmates:
- Against the State of Ohio because a male inmate was not
permitted to grow his hair long, wear make-up and wear
women's clothing.
- A lawsuit because an inmate couldn't have Rolling Stone
magazine delivered directly to his cell.
- An inmate who freely opted to eat "turkey stuffing," filed a
lawsuit against the state because the turkey stuffing had
turkey in it and eating turkey violated the inmate's
religious beliefs.
- David Earl Dempsey, 37, filed a lawsuit against Pima County,
Arizona and state officials in February for injuries
suffered when he hit the concrete after his bed sheet had
become unfastened as he jumped out a jailhouse window trying
to hang himself.
- That guards wouldn't refrigerate his ice cream snack so that
he could eat it later (a $1 million lawsuit).
- That his toilet seat was too cold.
- That, as an inmate-paralegal in the prison law library, he
should make the same wage that lawyers make.
- That prisons should offer salad bars ($129 million).
- That a limit on the number of Kool-Aid refills is
unconstitutional "cruel and unusual punishment".
- That the scrambled eggs were cooked too hard.
- Francis Hugh Smith, a convicted burglar, sued for $10
million claiming that poor medical care was the cause for
his amnesia that made him leave his work release job and
forget to return to prison.
[ I'll bet he didn't forget to show up for the suit! ]
- Another burglar sued for "$98 billion trillion" because
guards beat up his jacket, which he was not wearing at the
time.
- Anthony Gill, convicted murderer, claims second-hand
cigarette smoke caused him medical problems. Gill's case
would probably be alot stronger if he was not also a smoker.
- Burglar Jose Reyes sued for $1,000 because he lost one pound
when he was made to eat a "vegetable diet."
- Thomas Higgins is suing for $10,000 because a prison laundry
machine broke and claims he has a constitutional right to
wash his clothes.
[ How about a rock and stream? ]
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SUE 'EM ALL DEPARTMENT
----------------------
Jacquelynne Stafford filed a $300,000 lawsuit against the
White Marsh, Maryland YMCA because a runner crashed into her at
second base during a league softball game, breaking her
collarbone. League rules require the runner to slide.
In response to Stafford's lawsuit, the YMCA then sued the
runner, his manager, the umpire and the company that paid for the
team's T-shirts for not assuring that the sliding rule was
adhered to.
[ And those in the second suit in turn filed against the
manufacturer of the bases, the company that provided the
seed for the grass, and God for making the infield dirt. ]
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WAS THAT COOK OR KOOK DEPARTMENT...
--------------------------------
The U. S. Supreme Court rejected the claim made in 1992 by
Ms. Bobby June Griggs that South Carolina Electric and Gas Co.
owes her for a nervous breakdown she suffered. Griggs entered a
rice-recipe cook-off but became stressed and had to seek
psychiatric help when the company, against her wishes,
subsequently published the recipes of all contest entrants.
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WEATHER OR NOT DEPARTMENT...
-------------------------
In March, a woman filed a lawsuit against Israel's Channel 2
and its weatherman Danny Rup for about $1,000 because of an
erroneous forecast. Rup had predicted sun, and the subsequent
rainstorm, said the woman, caused her flu and resulted in four
days' missed work and $38 in medications.
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WAS A DOCTOR, NOW A LAWYER DEPARTMENT...
-------------------------------------
In January, Kevin McGuinness, who flunked out of the
University of New Mexico medical school, filed a lawsuit accusing
the school of failing to accommodate him under the Americans With
Disabilities Act. McGuinness said his disability is that he is
very anxious when he takes exams and consequently doesn't do very
well on them.
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GOING TO THE DOGS DEPARTMENT...
----------------------------
Julie Leach of St. Clair Shores, Michigan has filed a
$10,000 lawsuit against neighbors who own a small beagle dog. Ms.
Leach claims the beagle was "constantly enticing" her German
Shepherd to chase him and that her dog was run over by a car
while doing so. (Toronto Globe and Mail)
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MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEARN SOMETHING IN COLLEGE DEPARTMENT...
------------------------------------------------------
Ex-student Jason Wilkins sued the University of Idaho for
$940,000 to pay for injuries he suffered when he fell through a
third-story dormitory window while exposing himself to passing
students. Wilkins had climbed onto a 3-foot-high heater to reach
the window but claimed the university should have posted
warnings.
[ How about: 'WARNING - Try hard NOT to be REALLY stupid!' ]
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AND TO THE REPUBLICAN FOR WHICH I STAND DEPARTMENT...
--------------------------------------------------
Earlier this year, an unsuccessful school-board candidate
named Dale Washam filed a lawsuit against House Speaker Newt
Gingrich, the Washington State Republican party, and others
because, he said, the Republicans stole their 1994 "Contract with
America" idea from him. Washam said he originated the concept of
holding political candidates to their promises when he ran in
1991, 1992, and 1993.
[ He could be right - politicians promising to keep promises
is such a radical, new idea. ]
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COPS & ROBBERS DEPARTMENT
-------------------------
Six police officers in Seattle, Washington filed a lawsuit
against bank robbers, claiming emotional distress following a
Nov. 27 shoot-out. The lawsuit alleges "extreme and outrageous"
behavior by the robbers. "They want to send a message to fellow
cops that they don't have to deal with this," said Lincoln
Sieler, attorney representing the six officers. (Reuters)
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ETHICS, YOU SAY? DEPARTMENT...
---------------------------
According to an Associated Press story, the producers of the
tabloid television show "Jerry Springer", filed a lawsuit against
four Toronto, Ontario, comedians who had fooled the show's staff
and posed as a couple and their baby sitter (and her boyfriend)
on a show about men who sleep with their children's baby sitter.
Multimedia says such hoaxes threaten the integrity of daytime
talk shows like Springer's.
[ Kind of makes you doubt if the 'transvestite Nazi hookers
who date politicians' could be real, too, doesn't it? ]
==:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)==
BAD HAIR DAY DEPARTMENT...
-----------------------
In July, artist Victoria Baldwin won her lawsuit against a
hair salon over a bad haircut she got. She won $750 plus $234 to
compensate her for the hats she had to buy to disguise the cut,
which she described as so bad that she looked like Hillary
Clinton.
[ Could have been worse - she could have looked like Bill. ]
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FRUSTRATED MOVIE CRITIC?...
-----------------------
U.S. District Court Judge Stephen Wilson fell asleep while
while watching the movie "Jerry Maguire," and had to postpone his
decision in a $110 million lawsuit against the producers of the
film.
Reebok Ltd. filed suit against the producers of the film for
not running a commercial during the movie's closing credits and
the movie was being shown as evidence in the lawsuit. The judge
was forced to postpone his decision. (LB Press-Telegram)
[ On the other hand, he gave the move four stars. ]
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IF THREE'S A CROWD, WHAT'S 120?
------------------------------
In March, Ms. Nadean Cool won a settlement of $2.4 million
in her lawsuit in Appleton, Wisconsin, against her former
psychotherapist Dr. Kenneth Olson. She claimed that he had first
persuaded her that she had a Multiple-Personality Disorder (120
personalities, including Satan and a duck) and then billed her
insurance company for "group" therapy because he said he had to
counsel so many people. (Olson, seeking greener pastures for his
psychotherapy business, has since moved to Montana.)
[ Maybe to convince sheep that they have recovered-memory
syndrome... ]
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© 1997 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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