FOLDING MONEY!

We Flash The Cash As SUNFUN Looks At Money Funnies

Hello again, Fellow Debtors,
     First of all, this is neither a bill nor an ad to try to
make you buy anything.  I say that up front because, this time of
year, it can be awfully hard to tell.  This is the time of the
year when stores take in as much as one-third of their profits
for the entire year.  Which explains a little of the
commercialism that has crept in to the holiday season.  If
Christmas didn't exist, it would have been necessary to invent
it.
     Which makes this as good a time as any to talk about the
stuff we are spending.  Money is one of those universal topics
that is always a topic of discussion, unlike fad-of-the-moment-
and-sick-of-it topics like, say, hanging chad.  Unless you live
in a monastery somewhere, you will need to deal with money.  And
even modern monks have to pay something to keep the electricity
on in the chapel.
     That said, the whole concept of modern cash is a little
weird.  How strange it must have been for people who first came
up with the idea of valueless money.  It isn't really valueless,
of course;  it costs a few cents to print a hundred dollar bill,
what with the special paper and all.  But it isn't worth anything
like the numbers printed on it would seem to indicate.  And it
costs no more to print a thousand dollar bill than a single.  In
one sense, the only thing that makes paper money worth anything
is our belief that it is worth something.  If you applied the
same faith-based theory to a checking account, they'd put you in
jail.
     Which brings us the government's least favorite coin, the
penny.  It isn't just that pennies are cheap, troublesome and not
at all useful in vending machines.  It is simply that the penny
costs too much, even after the move a few years ago to eliminate
most of the coin's copper content.  Nope, the lowly penny is the
least profitable coin for the government to make, because each
one costs about 0.8 cents to make.  Worse yet is that more than
60% of the pennies ever made are effectively out of circulation,
squirrelled away in drawers and piggy banks; the government says
half of the pennies made every year disappear that way.  So why
do they keep making them?  Politics, of course.  Besides the
usual "we've always done it that way" crowd, the senators and
congressfolk from the State of Illinois howl every time the
Lincoln penny is in any way threatened.  So all those "leave a
penny/take a penny" cups near the cash registers are in no danger
of disappearing any time soon.
     Worth more to us than we can count are the contributions of
our friends and supporters: published writer Carol Becwar, Nnamdi
Elleh, Eva Lu Yu-Hwa, Helen Y. Pokora, Jerry Taff, Etsuko Hori,
Laura Hong Li, cookie maker Mark Becwar, California Kerry Miller,
Sheri & Jack Gervais, Junji & Miki Taniguchi, Tim McChain, R.J. &
Mike Tully, Howard Lesniak, Shawn Mullen, Fumiko Umino, Jan
Michalski, Bruce Gonzo, M.J. McCallum, Larry Sakar, Joshua Brink
and Anna Macareno.  No matter how much or how little money you
might have, may it always be enough for you to be happy.
     Have A Prosperous Week,


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POOR IN SPIRIT...
--------------
     Maybe it has something to do with current nostalgia for a 
mythical poor and pure "good old days," but a study by Modern
Maturity Magazine showed that most Americans have a strong
suspicion of instant wealth and what it brings.  As fascinating
as million-dollar lottery and game show winnings may be, 80% of
Americans polled say that having too much money makes people
greedy.  Nearly 75% also believe that the rich are insensitive to
others.
     And fully one third of Americans polled said that they had
no desire to be rich themselves.  (Reuters)
          [ Needless to say, the survey folks were not
          waving a large check and asking if that was
          their 'final answer' at the time folks said
          this... ]


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ANOTHER POLITICIAN IN HOT WATER...
-------------------------------
     Japanese Prime Minister Yoshiro Mori keeps making verbal
gaffes that keep landing him in hot water.  Somehow, Mori
continues saying things that betray a longing for Japan's
imperialist past - mostly unpopular ideas in modern Japan.  Mori
has his foot in his mouth so often these days that his approval
rating has sunk to Nixonian levels - 12.5% last time we checked.
     But at least some good comes of it in a small noodle shop
called _Ganta_ in the central Japanese city of Gifu.  The
restaurant's most popular dish these days is "Mori's Excuse
Noodles," a plate of hearty soba (buckwheat noodles) with spring
onions and a soy sauce-based soup.  The price of the dish rises
and falls with Mori's approval rating.  Currently, that puts the
price at just a little over $1.00 a bowl.
     And if you can name a particular blunder that Mori has made,
restaurant owner Akihiro Iwata will throw in some extra
ingredients for free.  (Reuters)
          [ Verbal gaffes?  I can't wait for the first
          meeting between Mori and George Dubya.  You
          could probably sell a tape of that meeting as
          a comedy album. ]


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THE WRITE STUFF...
---------------
     The McKim brothers had quite a success on their first
diplomatic mission.  The two elementary school boys from
Newcomerstown, Ohio, Bobby, 11 and his younger brother Billy, 9,
sent a get well note to the president of the United Arab
Emirates, who was in a hospital elsewhere in Ohio for a fractured
hip and kidney transplant surgery.
     The president, sheik Zayed bin Sultan al Nahyan, was
obviously moved by the boy's gesture.  Moved enough that he sent
a donation of $30,000 to their elementary school to help pay for
new, high-tech educational equipment.  Forbes magazine lists the
sheik as the world's sixth richest person.
     Peggy Ball, principal of West Elementary School, told the
local newspaper, "It's a positive example of how people from
different cultures and religions can find common ground and
overcome barriers.  In this case, the common ground is children
and education."
     For now, the McKim brothers have another writing assignment;
a thank you note to the sheik.  (Reuters)
          [ Before you get any ideas, the other five
          richest guys are all in good health and
          feeling fine.  I checked. ]


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     "... I got a job playing in a club and I found they
     would pay me $12.50 a night.  A night.  I didn't think
     there was that much money in the world."
                       - Blues guitarist B.B. KING discussing the
                         beginning of his career in the New York
                         Daily News.


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EASY COME EASY GO DEPARTMENT
----------------------------
     Just one of those days?  That might explain what happened to
a McDonald's restaurant manager in El Paso, Texas recently.  But
he certainly made a good day for some other folks.
     El Paso police were called to a bizarre scene in the middle
of a busy street, as people ran wild grabbing for cash that was
flying in the wind.  The unnamed McDonald's manager had put the
entire day's receipts into two paper bags before getting in his
car to drive to the bank.  Apparently, he was distracted for a
moment and forgot to remove the bags from the car's roof before
driving off.  Along the journey, he became painfully aware of his
mistake when the bags opened, scattering the cash to the winds.
     How much cash was lost?  Neither the restaurant manager nor
the police wanted to admit an exact amount.
     "It's a lot," El Paso Police Sgt. Al Velarde admitted.
     "It was raining money," said homemaker Maria
Cortez-Goldmann, who witnessed the incident.  "And all these
people were running and leaping up after the money."  (Reuters)
          [ It was clear the manager was in shock.  He
          even forgot to ask if anyone wanted fries. ]


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AN UN-TENOR-BLE SITUATION
-------------------------
     Luciano Pavarotti may be one of the famous "Three Tenors,"
as well as one of the most famous and recognized opera singers in
the world.  Not that it did him much good at the Sheraton hotel
in Padua, Italy.
     The tenor had reserved a room at the hotel because he was to
be presented with an international prize in Padua that night. 
But in a scene that had to look like one of American Expresses'
old "Do you know me?" ads, Pavarotti was turned away because he
was not carrying proper identification.  The singer, one of
Italy's wealthiest men, even offered to pay cash for the room,
but that didn't cut any weight with the manager.
     "Rules are the same for everyone," explained the Sheraton's
duty manager.  "Plenty of famous people come to stay here but
even they have to have ID."
     "I have been to some of the best hotels in the world and
never has anyone shut the door in my face," fumed Pavarotti, who
easily sang his way into another hotel in town.
          [ Doubtful you'll see Pavarotti in any
          Sheraton ads in the near future. ]


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PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE CASH?
----------------------------------
     Churches in England have seen the small towns of England
decline in importance over the years, with many losing their bank
branches and even post offices.  That's why some in the Church of
England want to make a move to restore the church to the very
center of village life as it was in the Middle Ages.
     Their latest idea on how to do this?  Install Automatic
Teller Machines.
     That's right...  The Right Reverend Graham James, Bishop of
Norwich, said he came up with the plan after talking with banking
executives.
     "There is nothing wrong with money per se.  After all we
make collections during services," said Reverend James.
     "It is an appalling idea, madness," said Lord St John of
Fawsley, a former Conservative minister and chairman of the Royal
Fine Art Commission Trust.  "The interiors of churches are sacred
places. I don't mind them being used for appropriate events such
as concerts, but certainly not cash machines."  (Reuters)
     Appalled by ATM's?  Based on that reaction, Lord St. John
would really be in a snit if one of his churches was doing what
the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood,
Kansas is planning.  That very modern and dynamic church set up
their own IPO and formed a for-profit real estate investment
company called COR Development.  They claim it will attract
members who would rather invest their money than donate it. 
Initial plans are for the $16 million company to develop lands
near the church property for commercial businesses.  (Reuters)
          [ Praying for profits are they? ]


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     "Growing up in Alabama, my family was so poor that my
     sister got married for the rice."
                       - Actor George "Goober" Lindsey speaking
                         to the Alabama Legislature in February,
                         1998.

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MAYBE IT'S ALL JUST BULLION...
---------------------------
     Leave it to the experts, right?  Well, maybe not.  Over 140
gold price experts, including mining company executives and top
international gold dealers, met in Perth, Australia  in early
1998.  Each of the experts was asked to predict the price of gold
at the end of that year.  Not only did none of the experts get
the exact figure, their estimates ranged all the way from $233 to
$480 per ounce.  (Reuters)
          [ I think we found the guys who did those
          Florida projections on election night... ]


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     If all the world's economists were laid end-to-end.... 
     ...their heads would all point in different directions.


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PRICELESS...
---------
     A little girl, enchanted by her new baby cousin, asked her
mother, "Can't we have a baby?"
     "I don't believe so, darling," her mother replied. "They
cost too much."
     "How much?" the child inquired.
     "Oh, about $4,000," her mother said.
     The youngster thought for a moment.  "That's not very much,
when you consider how long they last."


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