THAT'S LIFE!

Just Life As We Know It - So Far...

Greetings, Forward Looking Folks,
     Whenever you hear someone talk about 'modern times,' it is
nearly always to say how much better everything was in the old
days.  Things today are supposed to be simply awful, at least in
comparison years ago.  Funny thing is, the ancient Greek
philosophers said much the same thing nearly two-and-a-half
millennia ago.  If things really have been getting worse for all
of this time, by now they ought to be truly crappy, right?
     But it hasn't worked out quite that badly.  Things are very
different, and very high-tech these days, but our basic wants and
needs haven't changed much since humans started walking upright. 
For all of that time, getting enough to eat, a long life and a
few creature comforts have been the measure of success.  By that
standard, we certainly have the edge on any previous generations. 
When we say that we envy them, we are mostly wishing for a
simpler, less stressful time when people didn't have so much to
worry about.  Problem is, they worried just as much as we do
because they didn't know that things were going to come out this
way.  Life always looks simpler and less scary when you're
looking out the back window.
     One thing that is quite different now is how tastes have
changed.  Piercings?  Even just a few years ago, folks would have
thought that was pretty weird.  And, who knew that tattoos would
be back in style after all these years?  But it's not just
fashions that seem to push the envelope...    Yesterday, I was at
the store and saw a novelty item called "Big Mouth Billy Bass." 
If you haven't seen this thing, it's a phoney stuffed fish
mounted on a simulated-wood plaque that turns it's fake plastic
head and sings along with music playing in the room.  In terms of
tackiness, it is enough to make a black velvet Elvis painting
seem like something that should be hanging in the Louvre.  But
the store manager assured me that they were selling extremely
well, even though he did admit that "they are really annoying." 
Whatever is happening to our society these days, the line between
cute and really stupid seems to be getting amazingly thin.  No
wonder so many people seem to be stressed-out and annoyed.
     Special Thanks this week to our always up-to-date
contributors, including:  Beth Butler, Jerry Taff, Laura Hong Li,
Josie Tong, Carol J. Becwar, R.J. Tully, Fumiko Umino, Brian
Siegl, Donna Becwar, Kerry Miller, Shawn Mullen, Tim McChain,
Bruce Gonzo, Sarah Morsman, Judy McCallum, John Mikalski and
Chuck Maray.  Here's hoping that none of you will have reason to
be annoyed by your technology this week.  And, hopefully, none of
you will be teaching plastic fish to sing...
     Have A Low Stress Week,


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FLUSHED WITH SUCCESS...
--------------------
     As we've discussed in previous editions of SUNFUN, it is
getting ever harder to avoid the daily barrage of commercials. 
They seem to be nearly everywhere, newspapers, magazines,
television and even online services hit us with a never-ending
stream of advertising.
     I'm sorry to say that there is now one less place to hide
from advertising, as the ABC television network seems to have
come up with a new way to target male viewers.  Looking to
promote a new sitcom for this Fall called "Norm," they hit on the
idea of placing talking mini billboards in the bathrooms of
trendy New York and Los Angeles restaurants.  The ad panels are
mounted above the men's room urinals and play an audio message
about the new show.
     No, it's worse than that.  It's not bad enough that ABC
pesters a captive audience at a vulnerable moment, they had to
get in a kick at their rival network, NBC, as well.  Making fun
of NBC's "Must See TV" promotion must have seemed like a fun idea
to the ABC execs, but the line "Must Pee TV" gets the award for
worst advertising concept of the decade.  (AP)
          [ Some things about modern life just piss you
          off... ]


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CURRENT WISDOM...
--------------
          While looking out for #1, be sure you don't
          step in #2.


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JAILHOUSE ROCKED?
----------------
     You've seen all those movies and TV shows that show prison
life as hard, depressing and mean.  Well, that picture changed a
little last year with the opening of the first privatized prison
in Great Britain, the Wolds Remand Prison in Hull, England.  The
staff there takes great pains to create a caring prison community
and treats even the most hardened cons as fellow human beings
worthy of respect and dignity.  The prison is designed to be less
noisy and less threatening, with pleasant, school-like
architecture and less emphasis on clanging iron bars.  To help
promote community spirit, the guards eat in a common mess hall
with the prisoners and everyone is encouraged to be on a first
name basis.  The private security company running the prison sees
it as the model for a new type of enlightened penal system.
     Only one problem - the prisoners hate it.  Many of the
convicts experience serious culture shock in a prison where the
arrival process is no more threatening than checking in at the
airport.  A large percentage of hard-bitten felons have requested
transfers to crowded, traditional jails where the guards and
staff are nastier.  The cons simply don't feel safe in such a
relaxed environment.
     "That staff treated all prisoners as fellow human beings
came as a complete shock to some prisoners," said Chief Inspector
of Prisons Sir David Ramsbotham in a report on the new-age big
house.  In the same report, Sir Dave denied reports that the new
prison has TV sets in every cell and a swimming pool.  (Reuters)
          [ On the other hand, I've been in motels
          where the staff wasn't nearly so pleasant. ]


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A SORRY STATE OF AFFAIRS?
------------------------
     Many people complain about the current-day deficit of
courtesy and general lack of manners.  People just don't say "I'm
sorry" anymore when they do something wrong.
     Not that we'd made it easy...  In many U.S. courts, any
apology was taken as a confession of guilt.  Lawyers encourage
their clients never to wish a person well or express any concern,
for fear of a lawsuit.
     But, thanks to a new law, Californians hope that this sorry
lack of manners is over.  It is finally safe to say you're sorry.
     Under a law signed last month, apologies or "benevolent
gestures of sympathy" cannot be used as admissions that you've
done something wrong in California courts.
     The legislator who introduced the bill, State Rep. Lou
Papan, said he hoped the bill would boost efforts to settle civil
disputes without going to trial.  (Reuters)
          [ And if the law turns out to be a mistake,
          at least now Mr. Papan can apologize. ]


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     "The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you
     start thinking your work is terribly important."
                            - Milo Bloom in the comic strip
                              "Bloom County"

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OUR CHANGING POSITION ON THE FOOD CHAIN...
---------------------------------------
     One feature of modern society is that things move so fast,
people are afraid of being swallowed up by technological change. 
Most of the time, they are speaking figuratively, but a new robot
developed by inventor Stuart Wilkinson of the University of South
Florida is enough to make anyone think twice.
     Called a "gastrobot," the machine uses microbial fuel cells
that break down proteins to generate electric power, so the robot
can keep refueling itself as it works.  Suggested uses for
gastrobots include mowing lawns, construction and other tasks
that are energy intensive but far from conventional electrical
connections.  The bad part?
     "The ideal fuel in terms of energy gain, is meat. 
Vegetation is not nearly as nutritious," Wilkinson said. 
"Changing food into electricity isn't unique.  What I've done is
to make it small enough to fit in a robot."
     Not that there's anything especially wrong with a
meat-eating robot - one current design in England runs on garden
slugs.  But what I want to know is how we can be certain that the
machine won't notice all those pesky humans wandering around and
develop a taste for us.  Now that would be food for thought. 
(Reuters)
          [ I can see the movie ads now:  
          "Coming soon to a theater near you, "Godzilla
          Versus Microsoft!"  Japan's nuclear-powered
          hero does battle against a hoard of flesh-
          eating laptops that invade Tokyo! ]


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YOU'RE INVITED TO A POLITICAL BLAST!
-----------------------------------
     Sometimes trying to be too cute just doesn't pay off.
     That's what happened when a Los Angeles county politician
named Steve Cooley wanted to send a special invitation to one of
his fund raisers.  Rather than just a simple post card or note,
he hit on the bright idea of sending Superior Court Judge Patrick
T. Meyers a small package with a talking greeting card inside.
     Unfortunately, the package was never opened.  When Judge
Meyers received a suspicious looking, thicker-than-normal
envelope with no return address he called security.  The L.A.
sheriff's department checked the package and found what looked
like batteries and wires inside.  Thinking it might be a letter
bomb, they called in the bomb squad, which blew the invite to
bits in a parking lot.  No word on whether the judge was present
for either blast.  (AP)


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BACH TO THE FUTURE...
------------------
     Architects and urban planners have been puzzled over the way
humans tend to act like herd animals and congregate together in
little knots of conversation.  That isn't so bad in a parks or
cocktail parties, but it can seem pretty threatening at times. 
Especially when the group that gathers is loud or even criminal.
     The problem has been, how to keep those folks from hanging
around without violating their rights.  Jet engine sounds or
water sprinklers will do it, but how can you avoid forcing people
who need to be there away?
     The answer turns out to be surprisingly simple, at least
according to authorities in Europe and mall owners in the U.S. -
just play classical music.
     Railway officials in the Dutch town of Heerlen found that
technique extremely effective in clearing out loitering drug
users who had taken to sheltering in a pedestrian tunnel near a
halfway house.  A few bars of Bach or Beethoven was enough to
send the junkies on their way, without being too annoying to
people who had to use the tunnel.  The Hollanders got the idea to
use move-along music based on successful experiments in Paris and
Hamburg.
     And mall owners across America have found that classical
music was effective at preventing teenagers from hanging out and
driving away other shoppers.  The idea seems to be to create an
environment that repels the 13 to 18-year-old set, including
pricey stores, marble floors and gold-jacketed security guards. 
Some malls have also found that the presence of stores aimed at
families with young children.  Having a movie theater that shows
Walt Disney films has also been found effective at driving out
teenage crowds.  (Reuters/Wall Street Journal)


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NEW PRODUCTS DEPARTMENT...
-----------------------
     Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge
device (BOOK).
     The BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no
wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be
connected or switched on.  It's so easy to use even a child can
operate it.  Just lift its cover!
     Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere-even sitting
in an armchair by the fire-yet it is powerful enough to hold as
much information as a CD-ROM disc.
     Here's how it works...
     Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of
paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of
information.  These pages are locked together with an amazing,
custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their
correct sequence.
     Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use
both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and
cutting costs in half.  Experts are divided on the prospects for
further increases in information density; for now BOOKs with more
information simply use more pages.  This makes them thicker and
harder to carry, and has drawn some criticism from the mobile
computing crowd.
     Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information
directly into your brain.  A flick of the finger takes you to the
next sheet.  The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by
merely opening it. 
     The BOOK never crashes and never needs rebooting, though
like other display devices it can become unusable if dropped
overboard.  The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to
any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish.  Many come
with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of
any selected information for instant random-access retrieval.
     An optional BOOK mark accessory allows you to open the BOOK
to the exact place you left it in a previous session, even if the
BOOK has been closed.  BOOK marks fit universal design standards;
thus, a single BOOK mark can be used even in BOOKs manufactured
to different standards.
     Even more amazing is that multiple BOOK markers can be used
in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at
once.  The number is limited only by the number of pages in the
BOOK. (BOOK marks can be purchased commercially in a wide variety
of styles, or easily created at home from readily available
materials by the BOOK user.)
     You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries
with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib
Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS).
     Portable, durable, and affordable, the BOOK is being hailed
as the entertainment and information communication wave of the
future.  The BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of
content creators have committed to the platform.  Look for a
flood of new titles soon.


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