OFF THE WIRES

Plug In For The Week In Weirdness

Greetings SUNFUN Friends,
     Here we are again with another week having slipped by.  I
don't mind this happening, of course.  It's not like I can do
anything to stop it.  I just wish time wouldn't pass at such
neck-snapping speeds.
     There are times when you just can't help being amused by all
the silly stuff that happens.  Take this week's big news from
China, where new leaders for the Communist party and Politburo
Standing Committee came out.  In typical fashion, nothing had
been announced previously, and the order the new leaders walked
on stage was critical to understanding the political
restructuring.  While the new guy in the top job of party general
secretary, 59-year-old Hu Jintao, is well known.  But the others
on stage were not.  So reporters were fumbling for their cheat
sheets to figure out from tiny photos the names of the second and
third guys on stage.
     From simple logic, it followed that the name of the second
guy is "What" and the third is "I dunno."  That was easy to work
out.  All I had to do was realize that Hu's on first...
     SUNFUN thanks this week to all of you who contribute to this
silly thing, especially:  Susan Will, Jan Michalski, Jerry Taff,
Tim McChain, Charles Beckman, R.J. Tully, Yasmin Leischer, Brian
Siegl, Catherine Cassidy, Bernie & Donna Becwar, Carol J. Becwar
and Kerry Miller.
     Still think the news isn't by far the funniest show around? 
Besides all the wild speculation last week about Michael
Jackson's nose falling off, I got word on the successful concert
by opera singer Luciano Pavarotti in Monaco on behalf of a United
Nations campaign against hunger.  I figure the 300-pound
Pavarotti could probably go a long way to solving world hunger if
he skipped lunch.
     Have An Interesting Week,


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ANOTHER BLAME GAME
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     One of the least desirable things about current events is
that no one is responsible for anything anymore.
     A teenager in Kenosha, Wisconsin named Michael Zimmer is the
perfect example.  Zimmer was arrested last week when officers in
the village of Pleasant Prairie spotted him breaking into
vehicles parked at a local apartment complex, authorities said. 
At the time of his arrest, Zimmer was still in possession of an
auto that had been reported stolen a week earlier from the same
apartment complex, as well as property taken that night from cars
in the area, authorities said.
     His defense?  Detectives said he told them he had been
inspired by the video game "Grand Theft Auto" in which the
characters steal cars from parking garages and other places.
     "He (Zimmer) said that actually going out and committing
these crimes was challenging and fun," Pleasant Prairie Police
Chief Brian Wagner said.  (AP)
     [ Next, Zimmer may get to play a new reality-based game
     called "State Prison," which he'll likely be playing
     for 5 to 8 years. ]


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EXCLUSIVE TASTES...
----------------
     Shoplifting is a surprisingly common crime (sure, just ask
Winona Ryder), but police in Port St. Lucie, Florida admit that
they are mystified by a shoplifter with extremely expensive
tastes.
     This is one finicky shoplifter: a man who apparently likes
Moet & Chandon White Star champagne.
     The man, called the "Champagne Bandit," has stolen $30
bottles of the bubbly from Publix supermarkets along central
Florida's east coast, according to the St. Lucie County Sheriff's
office.
     "It is a unique case," St. Lucie Sheriff Ken Mascara said.
"It's the first one I can recall where the person is targeting
the same make of wine."
     The bandit is described as 6 feet tall and 300 pounds. 
Security videotapes showed him wearing a large, untucked white
dress shirt, jeans and a white ball cap.
     Police are still trying to pin down his motive, but they
note the champagne is often served with cheese-based entrees,
oysters or fish.
     "Maybe he's a fine chef and he needs wine to accompany his
meal," Mascara said.


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STILL AT IT...
-----------
     It's a tale of toil, trouble and aristocratic squabbling
worthy of the Bard.
     The 7th Earl of Cawdor, who can trace his lineage back to
Macbeth, is locked in a bitter feud with his stepmother, who
wants him out of the family's 14th century castle in the Scottish
highlands.
     This week, their long-running dispute over the medieval
family seat ended up in the Scottish courts, where a judge ruled
the earl and his family should not live in the fortress.
     But the earl, who also holds the title 25th Thane of Cawdor,
said he would mount his own legal challenge.
     "Regrettably, the focus of this action appears to have been
to remove my children from the castle, which has been my family's
home for over 600 years," The Daily Telegraph newspaper quoted
him as saying.
     His stepmother, Czech-born Angelika Ilona, was left Castle
Cawdor by her late husband, the 6th earl, in 1993.
     The whole mess ended up in court, even though the right to
live in the castle is pretty limited.  The lease allows only the
directors of the family company to stay there, and only in
winter, when it is closed to the public.
     In Shakespeare's play, based on Scottish history mixed with
fable and myth, Macbeth is an ambitious and successful nobleman
who, encouraged by his wife, kills King Duncan after three
witches prophesy his destiny.
     In reality, Macbeth challenged Duncan's rule out of revenge
for killing his wife's brother. Duncan was mortally wounded in
battle and died at Elgin Castle, after which Macbeth was crowned
king.
     Although making the Cawdor family famous and ensuring a
stream of 100,000 visitors a year to the castle, the 5th earl was
not impressed with the historical inaccuracies.
     "I wish the Bard had never written his damned play," he once
said.  (AP)
     [ So THAT's what the "Double, double toil and trouble"
     was about... ]

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LIFE IMITATES ART...
-----------------
     Important safety tip - just because you saw someone do it in
a movie, that doesn't make it a great idea.
     Latest proof of that is Mike Vernon, of Fort Worth, Texas. 
He was trying to help his family back into their house when they
were locked out.  His mother-in-law told him to get a locksmith -
think he'd listen?
     Nope.
     What he did was to imitate Dick Van Dyke's character in the
movie "Mary Poppins."   So Vernon climbed up on the house and
jumped down the chimney.
     Vernon said he thought he was going to make it all the way
down the chimney, but he got stuck near the bottom.  After about
30 minutes in the chimney, he realized he could go no further and
yelled out for help.
     Rescue workers carefully dismantled the chimney brick by
brick and after about an hour, they opened a hole large enough to
free Vernon.
     "In trying to get the person out, you have to do a lot of
manipulation of the brick and mortar, which can transmit a lot of
injury to the person inside," said James Johns, a fire battalion
chief.
     The only thing that was similar to the movie, officials
noted, was that Vernon ended up covered in ashes and soot from
head to toe.
     And that he was in need of a tuppence or two to fix his
chimney.  (Reuters)


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