Greeting, Fellow Romantics,
Groucho Marx, who knew so much about love and marriage that
he went through five wives, used to have a line, "The first time
I ever saw a tuxedo was at my father's wedding." With all of its
implications of illegitimacy and impropriety, this used to be a
pretty funny gag. This makes it quite a surprise that the line
is such a dud with modern audiences. I suppose it isn't hard to
figure why; relationships have changed over the years and it
might now be far too commonplace for a child to see one or more
of their parents get married. I happened to be in a card shop
earlier this week, and discovered that conservative old Hallmark
now has a special line of cards for kids to send to their wedding
parents. It's awfully hard to decide whether this is a positive
step that we now accept people continuing to seek love when a
relationship has failed or that things have gone completely to
hell. Or, none of the above. Or even all of the above. Or...
Oh, the heck with it!
Modern relationships have become pretty complex, alright,
which makes finding and keeping love a far different proposition
than just a few years back. Everyone talks about love as if 1)
they had it, and, 2) they understood it. While love itself is
eternal, our ideas about just what it is are not. While everyone
clearly wants to be loved, it is the hardest emotion to achieve.
If you are lucky enough to have love, likely as not it
grabbed you when you weren't looking. William Shakespeare, often
held up as an example of a guy who got it right, said of love
that, "It adds a precious seeing to the eye." (Love's Labour's
Lost). Then again, Will also said, "But love is blind, and
lovers cannot see the pretty follies that themselves commit."
(Merchant of Venice). When even the Bard didn't have a handle on
love, no wonder we poor mortals continue to struggle so.
Among those who have helped us with the struggle this week
are: Carol J. Becwar (Thanks, Love!), Jerry Taff, Alison Becwar,
Mark Becwar, Bob Martens, Mike Fagan, Bruce Gonzo, Tim McChain,
Mike and R.J. Tully, Susan Will, Jan Michalski, Charles Beckman
and Chuck Maray. Thanks to all who have helped with this thing
over the years, your contributions have been amazing. I would
say that I loved getting all those contributions, but why confuse
the issue even more?
Have A Lovely Week,
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CARE TAGGED...
-----------
One day a housework-challenged husband decided to
wash his own sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
shouted to his wife.
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends, she replied, "what does it say on
your shirt?"
"Wisconsin," he yelled back.
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DOING EVERYTHING TOGETHER...
-------------------------
Young couples, newly in love, often seem to have the goal of
doing everything together. Sometimes, you have to be careful
what you wish for...
A recent study published in the British Medical Journal
suggests that couple don't only share homes, cars and finances.
Getting married is serious business, the study said, since
couples are also statistically likely to share the same diseases.
"Partners of people with specific diseases are at increased
risk of the disease themselves -- at least 70 percent increased
risk for asthma, depression and peptic ulcer disease," Julia
Hippisley Cox of the University of Nottingham said.
Cox and her colleagues studied the medical history of 8,000
married couples, aged 30 to 74. After adjusting for age, obesity
and smoking status, which also have an impact on disease risk,
they found that spouses whose partners had a certain illness had
a higher risk than the general population of suffering from the
same disease.
The scientists said that screening spouses for some diseases
should be considered. (Reuters)
[ OK... So, "You make me sick" is no longer
an insult? ]
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WHY MEN MAKE BAD SECRETARIES...
----------------------------
Husband's note on the refrigerator to his wife:
"Someone from the Gyna College called.
They said Pabst beer is normal."
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STRIKE ONE!
----------
Kathy Thompson quit doing housework Sept. 25, refusing to do
laundry, cook or make the bed. She said she was tired of
working, going to school and caring for the house while her
husband Gary went out fishing. This, in itself, is not all that
amazing or unusual.
But this story quickly took on a life of its own. When her
unconventional campaign made it into The Star Press of Muncie,
Indiana calls from around the world started pouring in.
"It'll be something I can tell my grandkids," the 45-year-
old said. "I've got those women in Germany in an uproar."
Thompson has appeared on television shows including "Inside
Edition," "Good Morning, America" and Indianapolis television
stations. She was expecting an interview with CNN, and a
television crew from Germany was due later.
Probably nobody has been more surprised by all this than her
husband, who has been keeping a low profile these days.
"He thought it was pretty amazing," Thompson said. "I think
he was a little shocked."
One thing is for sure; she is appreciated now.
But the roses and an offer of a Las Vegas vacation she
received this week came from the folks at Inside Edition. It was
clear that Gary is still not off the hook.
"He's going to buy those flowers and take me on vacation,"
Kathy insisted. (AP)
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A lady inserted a personal ad in the paper:
"Husband wanted".
The next day she received a hundred letters.
Unfortunately, they were all from women and all said:
"You can have mine."
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MARRIAGE PLANS EXPLODE, NO ONE MINDS...
------------------------------------
OK, it's funny. Funny enough that everyone laughs at it,
even the people involved.
What you say? Well, Ms. Laura Kah is going to get married
this December, and people had a real giggle when her announcement
hit the Flint Journal.
The bridegroom's name is Scott Boom. Right, the
announcement read Kah-Boom.
Laura Boom says her mother's even having fun with the names,
suggesting the couple name their first child Thunder.
But she won't hyphenate her name; she'll be quite content to
be Laura Boom. (AP)
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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DEALING WITH ART...
----------------
After a bitter divorce, a custody battle that resulted in
total estrangement from his teenage daughter and a mid-life
crisis, 46-year-old Steven Dworman decided to produce and direct
a comedy movie based on his troubles.
The movie depicts the wife in the film as having a lizard's
face. And he premiered in a theater five blocks from his ex-
wife's home in Santa Monica, California.
Now after selling half his infomercial and advertising
consulting business to finance "Divorce, the Musical," Dworman
hopes he will break even and maybe even win a distribution deal.
"This certainly wasn't a revenge story. That was the
farthest thing from my mind," said Dworman. (Reuters)
[ ...And that explains the lizard face thing,
right? ]
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THE MOOD RING
-------------
A woman was talking to a friend at a supermarket.
"My husband bought me a mood ring the other day."
"Does it really work?," her friend asked.
"Oh yes. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his
forehead."
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MEMORIES...
--------
A new study found that men and women are different.
This isn't exactly breaking new ground, scientists realize,
but the depth of their differences helps to explain a lot about
why men and women see the world so differently.
When groups of women and men were tested for their ability
to recall or recognize highly emotional photographs three weeks
after first seeing them, a team of psychologists found that the
women's memories were 10 to 15 percentage points more accurate.
Turhan Canli, an assistant professor of psychology at State
University of New York Stony Brook, said the study shows that a
woman's brain is better organized to perceive and remember
emotions.
"The wiring of emotional experience and the coding of that
experience into memory is much more tightly integrated in women
than in men," said Canli, lead author of the study. "A larger
percentage of the emotional stimuli used in the experiment were
remembered by women than by men."
Diane F. Halpern, director of the Berger Institute for Work,
Family, and Children, said that the study also supports earlier
findings that women, in general, have a better autobiographical
memory for anything, not just emotional events.
She said the study supports the folkloric idea that a wife
has a truer memory for marital spats than does her husband. (AP)
[ This wiring issue also explains why so many
men short circuit when dealing with emotional
issues. ]
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AHEAD ON POINTS?
---------------
A couple had a spat as they drove down a country road.
They went on for miles, not saying a word. Neither was
quite ready to concede or make up.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife
sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied. "In-laws."
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WHEN TOUGH COPS CRY AT WEDDINGS...
-------------------------------
Anita Kurmi, of Rupaidiha, India, was orphaned in 1990 at
the age of seven. Like all orphans in such a poor country, she
faced an uncertain future. Until a district judge took an
interest in her case and found her a unique new home, that is.
In an unusual move, he entrusted Anita to the custody of a
police station in Rupaidiha near the Nepal border. For the next
11 years, she was raised mostly at the police station, helped by
the kindness of the officers, who were all like fathers to her.
"The station officer in charge at that time readily agreed
to the idea of the station bringing her up," deputy police
superintendent Rajesh Saxena said. "What's even more amazing is
successive station officers and other officers at the police
station happily accepted her and made sure she was treated like
part of a family."
So much so that there were dozens of officers present at her
wedding last December. Some 2,000 guests from both sides of the
border attended Anita's wedding to the son of a local
businessman, with the Rupaidiha police picking up the tab for the
marriage festivities. The chief minister of the state gave the
couple a new car as a wedding present.
"You have been our daughter and will remain so forever," the
policemen said as they bid an emotional farewell to Anita as she
drove away with her husband in their new car. (Reuters)
[ And there's one bridegroom who'd better
stay on the straight and narrow - or he'll be
facing several dozen outraged fathers. ]
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© 2002 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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