Dear Newshounds,
Don't you just hate it when people think you are dumb?
Well, get this right away... Lot's of folks who control the
news you see or read think you are dumber than a bag of hair.
Not the reporters, or even the news anchors, but the TV news
directors and station managers seem to figure that most of the
audience only continues watching because they are to dim to
figure out how to change the channel. And newspapers are
currently pitched at about the Grade 4 comprehension level. A
rather dim Grade 4.
Gol-ly, Gomer. They figger we ain't too bright.
As cynical as that sounds, I feel it is an inevitable
conclusion. And a danger to our democracy, as well. I began to
believe this when a friend of mine who still toils in the bowels
of television journalism - and is a pretty decent writer - was
upbraided for using the word "ignominious" in context within a
newscast. The news director claimed that she'd done a survey of
"people inside and outside the newsroom" and "nobody knew what it
meant."
Gee, you'd have figured that with all those years of
schooling represented, one of the folks there would have taken
that advanced level course, "Introduction to Words Of More Than
Two Syllables." Of course, that survey was conducted in the very
same newsroom where one of the staff is planning to sue Marquette
University for failing to educate her.
She's 23. That may have something to do with it.
Just maybe, she needs to work as a bartender for a couple of
years, then as a taxi driver for a couple more. That would be a
real education, as obviously the minor-league wisdom delivered by
J-school slipped away without even leaving a grease spot, like
fat off a cracker.
The only thing I don't quite understand is why the higher
ups haven't made her news director yet. Now THAT would be
ignominious!
You know, in a way it doesn't really surprise me that none
of the folks in that temple of journalism cared to look up the
word in the dictionary; after all, it's on the same page with
ignoble, ignorance, ignoramus and igneous - as in rocks - all of
which may hit a little too close to home.
On the other hand, folks whose intelligence and perspicacity
are beyond rebuke include our friends and supporters: Jerry
Taff, Jan Michalski, Tim McChain, Kenn Venit, R.J. Tully, Susan
Will, Charles Beckman, Peter J. Adler, Brian Siegl, Carol J.
Becwar, Bernie & Donna Becwar, Yasmin Leischer and Bruce Gonzo.
Our gratitude is beyond bounds. On the subject of those multi-
syllabic jawbreakers that send even the most prolix of us rushing
for the dictionary, I revert to a far more basic wisdom. When I
don't know all the words, I just hum.
Have A Newsworthy Week,
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
"Journalism consists largely in saying 'Lord Jones
died' to people who never knew Lord Jones was alive."
- G. K. Chesterton
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OSLO-SPEED CHASE?
----------------
It isn't exactly the white Bronco redux, that's for sure.
A Norwegian newspaper reporter sent out to cover a car chase
found a much closer and more personal story.
Hunting around for the scene of the action, Lars Gustavsen,
a reporter for the Ostlendingen daily in southeast Norway, picked
up a man who said he'd been following the auto theft and chase in
a car with his cousin, but that he had left the vehicle and
continued alone by foot.
Gustavsen spent 10 minutes chatting with the man, who was
bare-chested under his overalls and had a large tattoo on his
shoulder.
He only realized that there was something beyond the obvious
about his passenger when he was stopped at a police roadblock.
The passenger was, of course, the suspect the police were
looking for. He was arrested on the spot.
"I started to be a bit suspicious, but I was still surprised
to find out who he was," Gustavsen said. (Reuters)
[ "And now from the department of likely
stories..." ]
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"The other night MSNBC had a leading authority on Al
Qaeda and it turned out his only credential was that
his name was 'Al Qaeda.'"
- Comedian Dennis Miller
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INSTANT REPLAY...
--------------
Stupid Criminal Rule #463: When conducting a criminal
conspiracy, try to avoid announcing it on television.
OK, so that seems obvious to you, but it sure didn't to two
small-time crooks in Italy.
These two morons had a plan to rip off an insurance company.
Of course, some planning was required to pull this off. No back
rooms for these guys; they met out in public, and sat comfortably
at a cafe, sipping the local vino and casually discussing the
plans for their criminal conquest. In detail.
They would first crash their cars into each other and then
fake injuries. It sounded like such a foolproof plan that they
went ahead and did it.
They might even have gotten away with the crime, except that
the place they chose for their crooked confab happened to have
other distinguished visitors at the same time - a crew from the
Italian network Telepiu - who were there on another assignment.
The TV folk just happened to catch the discussion on tape,
including our criminal masterminds explaining how they planned to
defraud the insurance company.
After returning to the studio and discovering what they had,
they TV crew turned the tape over to the cops and the pair were
arrested. (BCD)
[ With that evidence, pretty much any
prosecuting attorney who doesn't drool too
much could put these guys away for a few
decades. ]
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"I see no reason why we should not be objects of fun
and, on occasion, derision. Print reporters cannot
resist hair-spray jokes, and we tell our own, of
course. You're out on location, and you're in the
middle of a damn hurricane, and I always tell people,
pay close attention: the only thing not moving is the
anchorman's hair."
- ABC's Peter Jennings on being an
anchorman, quoted in The New York
Times.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
BUSTED!
------
It's not unusual for some people to be camera shy. Nor is
it unusual for folks to be exhibitionists and jump into camera
range. But nothing had prepared a camera crew in Malta for what
happened when they started to do a story on the local excitement
over the World Cup.
Hundreds of soccer fans watching the World Cup in a tent in
Malta's capital of Valletta abandoned fled in a wild scene when a
cameraman turned up to record the event. The soccer supporters
had gathered to watch the opening match on a big screen TV, but
scattered on seeing the Public Broadcasting Service news
cameraman.
Apparently, many in the crowd had ducked work that day to
watch the televised match, and they feared that their employers
would spot them on television. (Reuters)
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THE STRANGEST CORRECTION OF THEM ALL?
------------------------------------
"Accused murderer David Dickson engaged in toe-sucking
with his second wife, according to court statements. A
story in Saturday's Daily News incorrectly implied that
Dickson's first wife had submitted to her husband's
foot fetish."
- Philadelphia Daily News
[ I'm so glad we finally got that
straightened out! ]
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AND DOTS FOR SURE!
-----------------
The media goes through fads, just like other professions.
Problem is, these fads are visible and very quickly mutate into
clicheville. Think "white bronco," "people's princess", "hanging
chad" and you'll know what I mean.
The latest seriously overworked phrase is... Well, I'll let
you figure it out.
"[The Rev. John] Cornelius didn't elaborate on what
exactly those 'failures' were, and his apology stopped
short of addressing the growing allegations. But
connect the dots."
- Seattle Post-Intelligencer
"[W]e act like a bunch of Boss Daley holdovers in
protecting our incumbents, who know how to tap the big
money for elections and scramble the information so
that no one can connect the dots."
- Madison, Wisconsin Capital Times
"Many families directed their ire at the government.
They faulted the administration not just for failing to
'connect the dots,' as the politicians and pundits
kept repeating last week, but for lacking sufficient
imagination."
- Newsweek
"[S]taff writer David Daley will interview people in
politics, media and entertainment, literature and the
arts about what they are up to, what's going on in the
culture, what it means. He'll offer fresh points of
view and help us connect the dots."
- Hartford Courant
"The bureau, institutionally, had failed to connect the
dots - and quickly hunkered down in hopes the storm
would blow over."
- New York Post
"['Insomnia's' Will] Dormer tells a character not to be
too obvious when talking to the police, not to give
away too much information, to let the police connect
the dots for themselves."
- Richmond Times-Dispatch
"This one gives members of the public important
information that allows them to connect the dots
between contributions and legislative action."
- Green Bay, Wisconsin Press-Gazette
"[T]he reader initially trusts the author to connect
the dots or at least fashion a compelling narrative."
- New York Times
"If you were born at the right time, it's a short
distance to connect the dots between 'Star Wars' and
God."
- Washington Post
"With the legal billings in hand, people can begin to
connect the dots, and the result is not a pretty
picture."
- Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
"Nerve.com knows how to connect the dots between the
moviegoing public and the single crowd."
- Ad in Variety
(there were over 700 more... )
[ OK, we can connect the dots, too: ]
... . . . . .... .
. . . . .. .. . . .
. . . . . . . . .... .
. . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
... .... . . .... .
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AVOIDING CELEBRITY PACK JOURNALISM - LESSON 1
---------------------------------------------
"I lead a pretty boring life. I once met an editor from
the National Enquirer who said to me, almost
apologetically, 'I'm sorry, but we're really not
interested in you.' I'm afraid that's true.'"
- Actor John Lithgow, who's playing
gossip columnist J.J. Hunsecker on
Broadway in "Sweet Smell of
Success," as quoted in the New York
Daily News.
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"We are increasing the sophistication of deception
faster than the technology of verification. The
consequence of that is the end of truth."
- Alvin Toffler
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A RATINGS BATTLE ROYAL...
----------------------
Jerry Springer, Phil Donahue, Montel Williams, Sally Jesse
Raphael, Howard Stern, and... Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of
York.
That's right. Sarah Ferguson, better known in the British
tabloids as "Fergie," has signed with a production company in the
U.S. to host a syndicated talk show.
The show, also to be called "Fergie," is being developed for
the 2003-2004 season, said the syndicator, Universal Television
Enterprises.
"I enjoy being with people, so I'll feel in my element with
a daily talk show," said Ferguson, 42, as quoted in Universal's
statement.
Ferguson is best known to Americans as U.S. spokeswoman for
Weight Watchers International and as the ex-wife of Prince
Andrew, Queen Elizabeth's middle son. She also hosted a short-
lived talk show on British TV, and has been an occasional special
correspondent for NBC's top-rated "Today Show."
Universal said a "flexible and compact taping schedule" will
allow Ferguson to spend time on her career and on raising her two
daughters, Princesses Beatrice, 13, and Eugenie, 12. (Reuters)
[ "Next on 'Fergie' - How to deal with problem in-
laws..." ]
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ATITUDENALLY CHALLENGED...
-----------------------
"My name is Dave Begel and I am a reporter with UPI.
My editors have sent me over here to interview you, and
if you don't talk to me, I will have you killed."
- Milwaukee sports reporter and
columnist Dave Begel, to NBA star
Bill Walton in the 1970s
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
I'LL HAVE TO CUT OUT NOW...
------------------------
But just one last story.
Prime Minister Yoshiro Mori of Japan had a dreadful
relationship with the press, even worse then the prickly
iconoclast and Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura, whose official
credentials for the media once read "Official Jackal."
But Mori's media rating may even have been lower than that,
being famous for making serious gaffes that the media dutifully
(and gleefully) reported. Picture a Japanese Dan Quayle.
In one notorious case, the Prime Minister was presenting an
honorary plaque to Japan's women's marathon champion from the
Sydney Olympics. Such was Mori's relationship with Japan's
largest newspaper, the "Yomiuri Shimbun," that they chose to run
the photo of Mori handing the award to athlete Naoko Takahashi
cropped in such a way that only the tip of one of the PM's
fingers remained visible.
Most other newspapers showed the unpopular prime minister
alongside Takahashi. Mori was reportedly miffed, calling the
clipping "rude." (Reuters)
[ The ever unpopular Mori disappeared from the
political scene nearly as quickly. ]
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"Why go with another body part or orifice? Been there,
done that."
- Connie Chung, whose new CNN show
will be called "Connie Chung
Tonight" after having "Eye to Eye
With Connie Chung" and "Face to
Face With Connie Chung" - which
both failed on CBS.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
KILL THE STORY ABOUT DYE...
------------------------
German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder was so miffed about a
news agency's story that he dyes his hair that he sued them in
civil court.
The court in the northern city of Hamburg issued an
injunction against the DDP news agency to prevent it from
repeating a political consultant's observation - now retracted -
that the 58-year-old Schroeder "would be more credible if he
didn't dye his hair."
Political commentators quickly cast the hair-coloring
controversy as a sign of insecurity on the part of Schroeder, who
trails opposition conservatives in opinion polls ahead of a
general election in September.
Schroeder's lawyers presented affidavits from his barber
saying that the chancellor's chestnut locks were their natural
color. The barber said Schroeder had some gray hairs which could
not be seen from a distance. (Reuters)
[ Forced to concede that the Chancellor definitely does
NOT dye his hair, the news agency reported instead that
Schroeder does, however, bleach his face. ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
© 2002 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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