Hello Again, All...
What's in a name? Well, pretty much everything! Ask the
folks who ran "The Great Gatsby's" restaurant in Chicago...
Feeling an urge to be cute, they changed the name to the "Not-So-
Great Gatsby's" - and the restaurant quickly crashed. Who would
eat at a beanery that even proclaims on its sign that it's "not-
so great?"
Names shape how we view people and events. Fair or not, a
name carries and image that can either help or hinder a person.
Take, for example, the case of Moses Horowitz, his friend Louis
Feinberg, and his brother Jerome. Lawyers? University
professors? Plumbers? Nope. Those three are far better known
by their nicknames: Moe, Larry and Curly - The Three Stooges.
We talk about a person's "good name" in referring to their
reputation. That's something that can - and sometimes is - won
or lost just on the strength of a name. There was that
politician in New Zealand some years back, who ran for office and
couldn't quite understand why folks were always questioning his
honesty. His name? Richard Nixon. You could see how Mike
Tyson's dentist might have reputation problems after "Iron
Mike's" most recent incisor incident. And don't be surprised if
your friends are a little reluctant to let you hold their money
if your name happens to be Arthur Anderson.
Naturally, there are some names that we are particularly
fond of. They include all of you in the SUNFUN family, of
course, but it's always nice to list the names of the friends and
contributors who help keep this silliness going. This week's
Special Thanks include: Eva Lu Yu-Hwa, Laura Hong Li, Jerry
Taff, John "Pete" Peterson, Jack & Sherrie Gervais, Tim McChain,
Kerry Miller, Etsuko Hori, R.J. Tully, Naomi Ogawa, Charles
Beckman, Howard Lesniak, Jan Michalski, Yasmin Leischer and Carol
J. Becwar. Still think names aren't all that important? Ask
yourself this: would you have ever heard of British singer
Engelbert Humperdinck if he was still Arnold George Dorsey?
Have A Great Name Week,
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"My nephew's four year old daughter Emma, after
watching Robin Williams in Peter Pan for the first
time, asked an excellent question:
'What was Captain Hook's name before the crocodile ate
his hand?'"
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WRONG! REALLY, REALLY, ***REALLY*** WRONG!
------------------------------------------
Ever call someone by the wrong name? It can happen -
especially if the circumstance brings to mind someone with a
similar name. It's embarrassing, of course.
But for true mortification, you have to: 1) get the name
wrong in the most embarrassing way possible, and, 2) cast your
mistake in bronze.
Such was the case recently in Lauderhill, Florida, at the
dedication of a plaque intended to honor the work of famous black
actor James Earl Jones. Intended to be presented at a Martin
Luther King day celebration, the plaque read: "Thank you James
Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive."
James Earl Ray was convicted of assassinating Dr. King in
Memphis in 1968.
The extremely embarrassing plaque was quickly recast to the
correct name. (Reuters)
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TOONING OUT A BAD IMAGE...
-----------------------
The American cartoon show "South Park" is a big hit in
England, but it's hardly for kids. According to one source, the
movie based on the foul-mouthed TV show had 399 swear words and
128 obscene gestures, putting it right up there with a Mike Tyson
press conference on the crudity scale.
Some people may find this funny, but not the folks who run
the genteel infants' school in the southern English town of
Reigate that shared the name of the crass Colorado cartoon.
"We were aware there was a cartoon called South Park and
that it was not a particularly nice cartoon, " said school
governor Alan Mayer.
Far too cultured to consider a lawsuit, the British school
recently changed their name to "The Orchards."
The new name was designed to encourage children to love
their environment, Mayer added. (Reuters)
[ Maybe that means they've recycled Kenny? ]
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"When I was a young kid, and you were going into
acting, you weren't supposed to have a vowel at the end
of your name."
- actor Al Pacino, recalling how he
considered changing his name to
"Sonny Scott" early his career.
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GO INVEST, YOUNG MAN...
--------------------
So, how did the Enron fiasco happen? Honestly, we don't
know, and won't for many months yet, but we may have a few ideas.
A study that attracted little notice when it was first released
in mid-2000 gave hints that all those sharp day traders aren't
necessarily playing with a full portfolio. Despite their
"research," many investors had little idea of even the names of
the companies they owned.
According to the study, some who invest their hard-earned
dollars believe that Caterpillar Inc. is a pet company and
Halliburton Co. is in the fish business (Halibut, perhaps?).
Caterpillar, of course, is the world's largest construction and
mining equipment maker and Halliburton is the huge oil-field
services company.
Another nugget in the survey: nearly 50 percent of investors
thought that Sysco Corp. (SYY.N), was a technology company with
10 percent saying it was in telecommunications. They are, in
fact, a food services company well-known for restaurant supplies.
And a large number of investors said that they were "very
familiar" with the name of a beef company the study asked about.
Researchers made up that name and the company does not exist.
(Reuters)
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NAMES IN THE NEWS...
-----------------
- Arrested last year while breaking into a pasta shop late at
night in Bologna, Italy, 38-year-old Stefano Spaghetti.
Despite his name, Spaghetti claimed he didn't like pasta all
that much. (Reuters)
- Candidate for mayor of Ajaccio, Corsica Prince Charles
Napoleon. Ajaccio was the birthplace of the French Emperor
Napoleon Bonaparte and the 49-year-old Charles Napoleon is a
descendent of Josephine's boyfriend. (Reuters)
- The pizza delivery man from Gainesville, Florida, who after
22 years of being known as David Hunsinger officially
changed his name to the strangely generic "Mr. Just A.
Name." (AP)
- Scratched, as an inappropriately named horse, by Saratoga,
New York racetrack officials from the opening-day races in
July, 2000: a 2-year-old colt named Mufahker (which means
"glory" in Arabic).
- The death notice in the newspaper "West Hawaii Today"
reporting the demise of one Hy Hoe Silva, 41, of Waimea.
[ Yes, Hy Hoe Silva is away, Kemosabe. ]
- Charged with allowing underage teenagers to have a keg party
in her home near Pittsburgh in March, 2000: Susan Beer, 50.
- The former bodyguard to actor Mark "Planet of the Apes"
Wahlberg, who had to hire a bodyguard himself when he filed
suit against his former employer. The well-protected
protector's name? Justin Case.
[ Which is, I suppose, the only reason you'd
ever hire a bodyguard. ]
- The 36-year-old Bulgarian fan of the famous British soccer
club Manchester United who change his name to - Manchester
United. The Bulgarian formerly known as Marin Zdravkov said
he had this dream for many years. (Reuters)
- The civilian attorney who got in trouble with the U.S. Navy
when they found porno pictures on the computer reserved for
his official military business. More embarrassing, the
lawyer was lead counsel and chief ethics officer at the San
Diego Fleet and Industrial Supply Center. His name? Peter
D. Butt, Jr. (AP)
- And finally, the domestic airline in Pakistan that was
grounded by authorities last year after repeatedly failing
to meet flight safety standards - "Safe Air." (Reuters)
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"The fact that it's a dinosaur is certainly apt, but
I'm happy to report I'm not in the least bit vicious."
- Former "Dire Straits" musician Mark
Knopfler, reacting to news that
paleontologists inspired by his
music named a newly discovered
70-million-year-old dinosaur after
him.
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TIRED OF YOUR NAME?
------------------
Here's the deal: you can trade in your old name for up to
$16,000.
Naturally, there are a few catches to this. The plan is
sponsored by the British-based tire company Dunlop, so your
family name must already be Dunlop. You have to live in Canada.
And, in a move that raises corporate branding to unprecedented
levels, you have to be willing to accept the new name of "Dunlop-
Tire."
"This has never been done before," said Jane Wilcox, a
spokesperson with the tire company. The rubber company has
mailed 1,000 information packages to families with the name
Dunlop all across Canada. To win a portion of the $16,000 offer,
a Dunlop must legally change his or her name to "Dunlop-Tire" at
a cost of some $125, which the company will reimburse.
"I think it's a bit ridiculous," said Toronto-area Lisa
Dunlop, who heard about the offer from a Reuters correspondent.
"I guess anybody would do anything for a dollar, but I'm not one
of them." (Reuters)
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"Before the tragedy of Sept. 11 the only scary thing
about Anthrax was our bad hair in the 1980s and the
'Fistful of Metal' album cover. Suddenly our name is
not so cool."
- members of heavy-metal band
"Anthrax."
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WE'RE NOT HORSING AROUND HERE...
-----------------------------
The name of racehorse Tulsy Tsan landed its owners in
trouble in New Zealand. Just hours before she was to race in
Wellington, the filly was withdrawn. The reason?
Racing authorities discovered to their horror the name
spelled backward could be offensive - Nasty Slut. The horse was
renamed Ben Again and returned to the track in a trial race two
days later. New Zealand Racing Conference spokesman Tim Aldridge
said the risque name was nothing new.
"We often have to seek help from the German or French
language departments of Victoria University to clarify the
meaning or pronunciation of names," he told the paper.
[ Yeah... We all know how delicate the
horsey set is. ]
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RING ANY BELLS?
--------------
One of the longest lasting gifts we give our children is
their names. And because they are stuck with it for so long,
naming deserves careful consideration. Not doing so can be real
trouble. Want to know how bad it can get? Just ask retired
Austrian truck driver Adolf Hittler.
"I often thought my life would have been a lot easier if I
had had another name," 60-year-old Hittler told the Welt am
Sonntag newspaper. "No one ever believed that my name is Adolf
Hittler. I get anonymous calls in the middle of the night from
people who say 'Heil Hitler'" he said. "But I never changed it
because I am proud of my parents."
Hittler was attending a conference "for people with infamous
names" in Braunau, an Austrian town just across border from
Germany and the birthplace of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler. The non-
Fuhrer also said that his son had adopted his wife's surname.
"I accepted that but it still hurt me a little bit," Hittler
said.
The infamously named Herr Hittler said the name once cost
him a construction job at a dam project in Austria when an
engineer asked prospective employees what their names were.
"The first in line answered 'Tony Sailer', the same as the
famous skier," Hittler said. "The next answered 'Andreas Hofer',
the same name as the Austrian freedom fighter. The engineer was
growing annoyed because he thought they were pulling his leg.
"And when he got to me I tried to warn him about my name, but
when I said 'I'm Adolf Hittler' he threw us all out. (Reuters)
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© 2002 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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