LOST IN THOUGHT

The Philosophical Follies and Other Deep Stuff

Hi, all you seekers of truth!
     When you ask someone to think of a philosopher, they usually
picture some old Greek guy with a gray beard, wild gray hair and
a bad attitude.  This is a very old-fashioned view, as we are, in
this democratic age, all philosophers, to one extent or another. 
Philosophy is simply a system of thought; it is what you believe. 
Everyone is searching for answers in this crazy world, and some
are confident that they have found the one true path.  The
problem is, there are so many "one true paths" that you can get
lost just traveling between them.  In a world in which the sun
lightens our hair, but darkens our skin, how right can simple
answers be?
     People often use the term taking something philosophically
when they really mean giving up.  Then there are those who
somehow think that because philosophers spend so much time
studying the past and present, they must have the inside dope on
what the future will be like.  There is in human nature always
some idea that an complete explanation of the universe would
somehow grant the power to time the stock market, predict lottery
numbers and know if the phone number that pretty young lady just
gave you is bogus or not.  You might call this taking up
philosophy for fun and prophet.  This is wrong.  Predicting the
future is so easy that few real philosophers even bother with it. 
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only it
starts a little later.  Things will go along just as they have
until they change.  That is all.  Amazing this has kept us up at
night all these years worrying about it, isn't it?
     Here's to the great thinkers of the SUNFUN crowd, all of you
who help keep this thing going with contributions and
inspiration.  Special thanks this week to:  Jerry Taff, Carol J.
Becwar, Helen Yee, Jan Michalski, Charles Beckman, Chuck Maray,
Bob Martens, Tim McChain, R.J. Tully, Caterina Sukup, Wallace
Adams, Deb Monroe, Bruce Gonzo, Anna Macareno and Catherine
Cassidy.  I am in awe in the presence of some of these truly
great thinkers.  Being in such heady brainpower makes me realize
more than ever that my mind is like a steel trap; rusty from
being left out all these years and illegal in 37 states.
     Have A Well-Thought-Out Week,


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

THE UNIVERSAL WEIRD THEORY...
--------------------------
     "There is a theory which states that if anyone ever
     discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it
     is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by
     something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

     "There is another theory which states that this has
     already happened.


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

     "Two wrongs don't make a right.
      But three do."
                            - Deteriorata


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

THE DANGERS OF POSITIVE THOUGHT...
-------------------------------
     Think it is easy to come up with great thoughts?  Hardly! 
And maybe illegal in some places - or at least, highly
suspicious.
     A meditation group in Buenos Aires, Argentina found out just
how risky the thoughtful path can be recently when they were
suddenly raided by dozens of armed police.  After receiving
reports of a "hostage situation" involving dozens of employees on
the fourth floor of a downtown office building, police stormed
the office complex with snipers, helicopters and armed police in
flak jackets.  Local television broadcast the event live.
     Fortunately, none of the meditation group was injured in the
attack.  (Reuters)
          [ Though it must have been a challenge to get
          back to deep thoughts... ]


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

     "A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of
     fools."
                            - Thomas Fuller

--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

     "Great persecutors are recruited among martyrs whose
     heads haven't been cut off."
                            - B. M. Cioran, Romanian born,
                              Parisian philosopher

--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

MODERN (?) LIFE...
---------------
          "Of all the animals, man is the only one that is
     cruel.  He is the only one that inflicts pain for the
     pleasure of doing it.  It is a trait that is not known
     to the higher animals.
          "The higher animals engage in individual fights,
     but never in organized masses.  Man is the only animal
     that deals in that atrocity of atrocities, War.
          "Man is a Religious Animal.  He is the only
     Religious Animal.  He is the only animal that has the
     True Religion -- several of them.  He is the only
     animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his
     throat if his theology isn't straight."
                            - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) in "The
                              Damned Human Race"


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--


     "After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more
     is said than done."
                            - H. L. Mencken


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

YOUR DAILY MOMENT OF ZEN...
------------------------
   - Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.  Do not walk
     ahead of me, for I may not follow.  Do not walk beside me,
     either.  In fact, don't bother me at all, or I'll call the
     cops.

   - It is said that priests of certain Eastern religions can
     walk through walls.  This may or may not be true.  In any
     case, it isn't all that impressive.  Father O'Malley used to
     walk into walls after a few drinks, sure he could go on
     through.

   - It's always darkest before dawn.  So if you're going to
     steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

   - The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
     belt and a leaky tire.

   - The only quick and safe way to double your money is to fold
     it in half and put it back in your pocket.

   - Sex is like air.  You hardly notice it's absence until you
     aren't getting any.

   - No one ever listens until you make a mistake.

   - People who are late are often so much happier than the
     people who have been waiting for them.

   - If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

   - A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a
     detour.

   - Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened at
     all.

   - Everyone has a photographic memory, but some lack film.

   - People who engage in religious persecution never call it
     religious persecution.

   - Always tell the truth, or as much of it as seems safe.  You
     will eventually end up surrounded by people you don't have
     to lie to.

   - Nobody's getting out alive and you can't take it with you. 
     Chill and have a beer.

   - If it's true that we are here to help others, then what
     exactly are the OTHERS here for?

   - When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

   - If you want to find where your armor is weak, check your
     bruised spots.

   - Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

   - The larger the sample size (n) the more confident you can be
     that your sample mean is a good representation of the
     population mean.  In other words, the "n" justifies the
     means.

   - The best things in life are not things.

   - Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

   - It is far more impressive when others discover your good
     qualities without your help.

   - If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
     couple of car payments.

   - Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach him how
     to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

   - If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it
     was probably worth it.

   - Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

   - A closed mouth gathers no foot.

   - Experience is something you don't get until just after you
     need it.

   - We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

     "Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is
     probably the reason why so few engage in it."
                            - Henry Ford

--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

     "The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life
     is to unlearn what is untrue."
                            - Antisthenes, founder of the Cynic
                              School of Philosophy

--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--

REVELATIONS OF LIFE...
-------------------
     I watched an ant climb a blade of grass this morning.  When
he reached the top, his weight bent the blade down to the ground. 
Then, twisting his thorax with perfect precision, he grabbed hold
of the next blade.
     In this manner, he traveled across the lawn, covering as
much distance vertically as he did horizontally, which amused and
delighted me.  And then, all at once, I had what is sometimes
called an "epiphany" - a moment of heightened awareness in which
everything becomes clear.
     Yes, hunched over that ant in the grass on my hands and
knees, I suddenly knew what I had to do...
     Quit drinking before noon.


--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--