Greetings, Fellow Badgers (and even you Flatlanders),
There is something very different about Wisconsin. We are a
bit modest about things and don't often blow our own horns.
Minnesota may crow about its "10,000 Lakes," we have 14,927, but
don't brag about it. Clearly, things are a few years behind here
in many ways, not because we aren't trend setters, but because we
are inherently cheapskates. By the time the latest hot fad is
fading fast on the coast, we get great bargains on all of the
extra stock here in America's Dairyland.
The first thing that many visitors notice is that there
certainly are a large number of strange names here. In just a
short ride, it's possible to drive from Mukwanago to Oconomowoc
by way of Muskego, Waukesha, Chenequa and Okauchee. Or, you
could take the bypass through Pewaukee and Nashotah. Why all the
funny names? The guidebooks all say that the names honor the
Native Americans who founded those places long before the brats
and beer crowd showed up, but, of course, that's a load of male
cow excrement. The real reason is to have an easy way to pick
out the flatlanders. Those guys from Illinois always stumble on
simple Wisconsin place names like Kinnickinic or Ashwaubenon, let
alone something mildly challenging like Chequmegon or Lac Courte
Orielles. We throw in the occasional name like Black Earth, Twin
Lakes or Monroe just so they can find their way back to the land
without scenery. We say "bubbler" for drinking fountain for the
same reason.
This use of confusing names goes back further than even most
native Cheeseheads realize. The Indians called the place
"Meskousing" (gathering of the waters) in the early 17th Century.
When the French fur traders showed up, the best they could render
this in frogspeak was "Ouisconsin." Then the British mutated the
name to "Wisconsin," the version in use since 1760, or so. With
the British and French battling over trading rights in the area,
you can see how it would be quite useful for the Indians to
determine quickly which side he was dealing with at the moment.
That is one Indian tradition that has been maintained to the
present day.
Hollywood continually jokes about Wisconsin folk as being
backward and homespun yokels, which we take with typical great
grace. Meanwhile we have quietly infiltrated some of the
greatest movies without anyone noticing. Most critics hold that
"Citizen Kane" is the best American movie ever made - made by a
kid from Kenosha named Orson Wells. And how about 1960's
"Inherit the Wind," which, though it takes place in Tennessee
features a battle of wits - and acting - between Milwaukee's
Spencer Tracy and Fredric March, who grew up in Racine as Ernest
Fredric McIntyre Bickel. In that same way, we have quietly
slipped Wisconsin references into hundreds of other movies, from
"Planes, Trains and Automobiles" (Steve Martin and John Candy are
pulled over by a Wisconsin State trooper) to "Indiana Jones"
(Harrison Ford took acting classes at Ripon College).
Thanks this week - and every week - to our friends both in
and away from Wisconsin. When times are tough, it is always
great to have people you can count on. Thanks for keeping our
spirits up and putting even the most difficult events in
perspective. We all need friends. Thanks this week to:
Tomoko Naito & Mike Fagan, Laura Hong Li, Carol J. Becwar,
Caterina Sukup, Kerry Miller, Jerry Taff, Hiroe Sugiyama,
Gretchen and Bob Martens (Former flatlanders moving to Wisconsin
right now), Eva Lu & Tiffany, Jan Michalski, R.J. Tully, Tim
McChain, Wallace Adams, Major & Judy McCallum, Junji Taniguchi,
Charles Beckman, Bruce Gonzo, Yasmin Leischer, Rich Springer,
Larry Ford, Jan Cutler-Brown, Howard Lesniak, Deb Monroe, Fumiko
David, and Keiko Amakawa. By the way, that Wisconsin name trick
for making money off of the outlanders extends beyond just the
Indian names - as all the folks arrested at the Bong Recreation
area in Kenosha County will be happy to confirm.
Have A Cheesy Week,
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
NOT ALL CHEESE, AINNA?
---------------------
Most folks associate Wisconsin with cheese and beer, which
we don't mind too much. With cheese production here dating back
to at least 1841, when Mrs. Anna Pickett of Lake Mills started a
cheese factory in her kitchen. And we did invent both Colby and
Brick cheese in this cheesy state. But there have been a few
other minor inventions to come from the Badger State that folks
here don't usually get credit for... Here are a few other
Wisconsin ideas that have become popular elsewhere:
- The Typewriter - Now supplanted in this word processing age,
we still have the original QWERTY keyboard of the 1872
machine invented by Christopher Sholes and Carlos Glidden of
Milwaukee as patent #79,265. The odd key arrangement came
about before the early models weren't fast enough and jammed
easily, so the clever inventors put the keys in an odd
layout to slow people down.
- The snowmobile, invented in 1924 by Carl Eliason, of St.
Germain, Wisconsin. The state now has more than 20,000
miles of interconnected snowmobile trails.
- The outboard motor invented as "a detachable rowboat motor"
after Ole Evinrude became frustrated while out on a date in
1906. Ole volunteered to row across Okauchee Lake in
Waukesha County to get the girls some ice cream, but it was
melted by the time he made the five mile trip. Pretty soon,
Ole was advertising his outboards in national magazines with
the line "Throw Your Oars Away."
- Auto Racing. Decades before NASCAR or even the Indy 500,
Wisconsin held its first auto race - in 1878. A Wisconsin
legislator, George McIntyre Marshall introduced the bill
authorizing the award of $10,000 for a winning
self-propelled vehicle in a road race competition. While
none of the three steam buggies entered were ultimately
successful, it was the first powered-vehicle road race ever
held.
- And what good is a race if you don't know how fast you're
going. Fortunately, the speedometer was invented in Beloit
in 1909 by A.P. Werner.
- The Republican Party, started by politically minded anti-
slavery folks in Ripon in 1854. While many political
parties take years to become successful, this little group
put Abe Lincoln in the White House just 6 years later.
- Hamburgers - before "Billions and Billions" could be served,
the first one had to be made at the 1885 Seymour fair, where
Charlie Nagreen first put beef to bun. Today, Seymour is
home to the Hamburger Hall of Fame.
We could go on and on, of course, but we'll just mention
America's first (1856) kindergarten, Two River's own claim to
fame, the Ice Cream Sundae, the passenger airliner, Les Paul of
Waukesha who invented the solid body electric guitar, the first
gasoline-powered farm tractor, Kleenex, the blender, the four-
wheel drive truck, the self-filling fountain pen, malted milk,
the thermostat, and hundreds of others all invented in this quiet
little cultural backwater we call home.
And how about Albert Dremel from Racine who not only made
the small power tool that still bears his name, but also designed
the first power lawnmower while working for Racine's Jacobsen
Manufacturing, thus assuring that we have a way to control all
that grass produced by Milwaukee's own Milorganite fertilizer.
[ And if you ask where Milorganite comes
from, the answer is always the same -
Milwaukee. ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
THIS SPUDS FOR YOU...
------------------
Two slickers from Illinois pled guilty to fraud and
misrepresentation in a half-baked scheme to put 3.4 million
pounds of Wisconsin potatoes into bags marked "Grown in Idaho."
The pair was skinned when a Wisconsin farmer noticed that the
bags at a local supermarket contained a variety of spuds grown
only in the Badger State. The pair were sentenced to pay
$200,000 restitution, $250,000 in fines and they have been
stripped of their license to repackage potatoes.
Idaho is happy, the FBI is happy - the only one unhappy is
Jim Bacon, secretary of the Wisconsin Potato and Vegetable
Growers Association, who says it is Wisconsin that should feel
slighted. Non-Idaho taters are usually sold at a lower price,
even though they are just as tasty.
"I know there is a perception among people that if it's
potatoes, it must be Idaho, but there is no difference. When you
get right down to that final product, they look the same, taste
the same - there is no difference," Bacon said.
And if you think of Bacon as thin-skinned, he dug up this
point: Wisconsin is hot on Idaho's heels as a potato grower, he
says, ranking among the top four in the nation. (Reuters)
[ And, the only state where you can get fresh
potatoes and fresh butter from the same
roadside farm stand. ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
MOOOO-VING TOWARD ENERGY INDEPENDENCE...
-------------------------------------
Besides the 26,000 pounds (12,000 Kg) of milk and 9,855
pounds (4,500 Kg) of manure each of Carl Theunis' 1,800 Holstein
cows produce yearly, the cows also produce a steady 750 kilowatts
of electricity, enough to power 250 homes. Call 'em Cowlowatts,
if you like. The farm, near Wrightstown, Wisconsin, is the first
to use a new process developed by the University of Wisconsin.
The process is simpler than it sounds... The 46,000 pounds
of manure the Holsteins produce daily is shovelled into a
digester where it is worked on by anaerobic bacteria at two
different temperatures. As the cow flop fuel breaks down, it
produces more gas than lactose intolerance, about 300,000 cubic
feet of methane which then runs a conventional power generator.
The power not used by the farm is sold to the local power utility
and used to supply other customers. Afterwards, the residue is
still available as fertilizer.
Tinedale Farm's poop-to-power plant is expected to be just
the first of many around the state, as farmers realize they have
the power to run their farms solely from their cow's dairy air.
(Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)
[ Gives a whole new meaning to that
commercial that says, "Behold the Power of
Cheese," doesn't it? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM WISCONSIN WHEN...
-----------------------------------
- Every sweatshirt you own is either red and white or green
and gold.
- Cheese is an important staple in your diet.
- You know how to pronounce "brat," and it has nothing to do
with Bart Simpson.
- Ordering a hamburger on Friday at Milwaukee's Serb Hall
sounds stupid to you.
- You own at least one complete set of blaze orange clothing.
- You know someone who can use "ja, der hey" in a sentence -
or you can.
- You learned to drive a tractor before the training wheels
were off your bike.
- You can actually pronounce and spell Oconomowoc, Wauwatosa
and Prairie du Chien.
- "Down South" to you means Chicago.
- You think everyone drinks from "bubblers."
- The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze for much of
the year.
- The "curds and whey" part of the Little Miss Muffet rhyme
make sense to you.
- Your definition of a small town is one that only has one
bar...
- You have experienced snow storms in April.
- You get choked up when you hear the University Marching Band
play "On Wisconsin."
- You wore a Halloween costume that was designed to fit over a
snowsuit.
- You know who Da Yoopers are, and have eaten a pastie or two
in their honor.
- You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
- You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
- You would never order a Budweiser, ride a Kawasaki or ask
for turkey sausage at Usinger's.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled in with snow.
- You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
- You know how to polka.
- You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears
won't prowl on your deck.
- You never bother to remove the combination snow brush/ice
scraper from your car in summer.
- You think you can predict the weather by where the cows
stand on the hillside.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You find 0 degrees F (-17 C) a little chilly.
- You know the four seasons -- winter, Still winter, almost
winter and Road Construction.
- You can play Sheepshead.
- You know that smelt can be netted.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a
tractor on the highway.
- You know where the Frozen Tundra is.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- You know several people who have hit a deer.
- You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same
day.
- You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting
- You don't give directions by street names or directions by
references (turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks east
Anderson's, and it's four houses left of the track field).
- Your car stays filthy because of the salt in winter, and you
will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
- You know everyone on your local volunteer fire department.
- Anyone you want can be found at either the Wal-Mart, Dairy
Queen or the feed store.
- Directions are given using "the" stop light as a reference
- It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a
riding lawn mower
- You know where to buy Bag Balm and what to use it for.
- You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
- You know what a TYME machine is, and that it has nothing to
do with history.
- You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your
Wisconsin friends.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
© 2001 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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