Hello again, Fellow Citizens...
We Americans seem to be of two minds about many things, but
perhaps none more than about protests. On one hand, we talk
about being proud that our traditions and laws allow such
diversity of opinions. On the other, we tend to looks at the
protesters as being misguided loonies. Unless, of course, we
agree with them. Then we tend to think of them as guided
loonies. Protests today are so well organized and timed for the
news that they have all the spirit of a really thrilling chess
match. Quite a change from the heady days of the 1960's when
folks sometimes protested just for the practice.
These days it seems that there are a significant number of
people waiting around for something to get upset about. Just as
in the 1960's, protests are another form of entertainment, kind
of like street mimes, only noisier. And - be honest - you still
cross the street to avoid them.
Many positive changes have been made by protests, including
religious freedom, labor safety, voting rights and the return of
red M&Ms. But not all protests are verbal, or about changing
laws. Some are, frankly, just revenge. One of the longest
lasting protests in Milwaukee was architectural revenge, and
lasted for 60 years. It seems that in the 1920's, a developer
wanted to build a multi-unit apartment building on Milwaukee's
East Side. But people in the area protested to their alderman,
and kept the project from being approved. The area was zoned
only for one or two family housing, and that's what the developer
would have to build.
So he did - except that the house he had built in protest
stayed just inside of the building codes to be as ugly as
possible: a two-story box, with no decoration. From its
mismatched siding in weird horizontal stripes to its assortment
of different window sizes and styles, the "spite house" was sight
to behold. As years went by, later owners planted trees in an
attempt to obscure the place, but nothing could hide the primal
ugliness of the place. It still remained as the homeliest home
for miles around until it was torn down for a supermarket parking
lot in the late 1980's. Now that's a protest with a lifespan!
Folks on our side of the protest line - on the issue of
funny stuff, anyway, include: Fumiko David, Etsuko Hori, Jerry
Taff, Nnamdi Elleh, R.J. Tully, Caterina Sukup, Kerry Miller, Ken
Josephson, Kenn Venit, Bob Martens, Carol Becwar, Major & Judy
McCallum, Bruce Gonzo, Tim McChain, Sharon Nuernberg, Peter
Adler, John & Ellen Peterson, Jan Michalski, Paul Roser, Wallace
Adams, and all the gang at Camtronics. Thanks to all of you for
all of your contributions to this crazy thing. I really have
nothing to complain about. I'm sure some will say that this is a
first.
Have An Agreeable Week,
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
SPECIAL NOTE TO THE SUNFUN GANG...
-------------------------------
For a few decades now, the return address of this floating
festival has been "billbb@compuserve.com" Over the years,
Compuserve has become progressively more like AOL in all
respects, enough that it is probably time to pull the plug.
You'll be seeing a new Email address here as soon as I get
everything working, in the meantime, the old Compu$erve address
will continue to run.
I hadn't though about it before, but I guess you could
consider the move a protest. Ironic, isn't it?
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
SWEPT AWAY IN PROTEST...
---------------------
As with any popular fad, the Harry Potter books have had
their share of protestors. Fundamentalist Christians say the
series promotes witchcraft and sorcery. And literary types
protest the fact that it is taking kids away from studying the
classics; it's harder than ever to get the kids to shut off the
Gameboy and read Aeschylus' "Agamemnon." And, because the series
is so popular, some folks take pot shots and Potter just to get
their name in the news.
Now comes another group complaining about the series, though
frankly their complaints sound orderly and maybe even helpful.
After seeing the ads for the new Harry Potter movie due this
Fall, a group of witches called the producers to complain about a
mistake. Kevin Carlyon, a high priest of British White Witches
said that there are inaccuracies in the flying scenes that could
put a hex on the whole project; broomsticks should be ridden
opposite of the way every Halloween decoration shows them, with
the sweeping part to the front. It may not be aerodynamic, but
that's the tradition.
"Warner Bros claims the film is an accurate portrayal of
things that happen in witchcraft, yet woodcuts from the 16th and
17th centuries show broomsticks being ridden with the brush part
in the front," said Carlyon, who has his own coven in Sussex,
southern England. "It's a common mistake -- even the sixties TV
series 'Bewitched' showed broomsticks being ridden backwards, but
this is not correct," he said.
Carlyon knows first hand the proper way to ride a broomstick
- he said he had three, though all were grounded at the moment.
"The CAA (Britain's Civil Aviation Authority) won't give me
permission to fly," he said. (Reuters)
[ I was going to make fun of this, but I'm
afraid I might wake up some morning as a
newt. Or - worse yet - a Gingrich. ]
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STOP THE MUSIC!
--------------
Usher Hall in Edinburgh, Scotland is home to the genteel and
very high-brow International Arts Festival - about the last place
you'd expect a protest, right?
Not quite, as Budapest-born virtuoso Andras Schiff stormed
off the stage in mid-performance, telling the audience they
needed a break in which to stop their wheezing. He resumed the
performance some time later after things had quieted down.
"It was Fantasia in C Minor with mobile phone, beeping
watches and coughing and sneezing accompaniment. I have heard
primary school children being quieter," reviewer Katie Grant
wrote later. "We might as well have stayed home or gone to the
zoo."
A festival spokesperson called Schiff's tiff perfectly
justified, as several members of the audience had forgotten to
turn off their cell phones and alarm watches. She also admitted
that the typically inclement Scottish weather and a downpour
immediately before the performance left many in the audience
soaked to the skin. (Reuters)
[ They do hold these things inside in
Scotland, don't they? ]
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A FEATHER IN HER HAT...
--------------------
Speaking of unlikely protesters, how about the lady who
reacted to anti-hunting demonstrators with her own protest: she
put a wounded game bird out of its misery by killing it with her
bare hands. You may have heard of her - Queen Elizabeth of
England.
And that's not all. The day after she was criticized for
wringing the neck of a pheasant that had been peppered with shot,
the queen went to Sunday church services wearing pheasant
feathers in her hat.
The wounded pheasant had been retrieved by one of the
queen's dogs during a shooting trip at her estate at Sandringham
in Norfolk, eastern England, Saturday. The queen does not shoot
herself, but is said to take a keen interest in country sports.
By tradition, the queen does not speak out in response to media
criticism, but royal aides made it clear that her feather-trimmed
fedora was a pointed gesture.
"The queen would never enter into a public debate about
whether she should be involved in country sports, but by
displaying the feathers she has made her feelings plain without
saying anything," a royal aide explained. (Reuters)
[ I suppose that could be considered the
royal way of giving them the bird. ]
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"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
- William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act 2,
Scene 3
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CHEQUE THIS OUT...
---------------
Nora Knight, a retiree in England, wanted to protest what
she considered the "outrageous and insulting" increase in the
state old age pension - a complaint that is rapidly becoming a
major headache for the British government.
In joking protest of the government's the callous disregard,
she sent a cheque for the amount of the weekly increase - 75
pence ($1.09) - directly to Gordon Brown, the Chancellor of the
Exchequer, along with a note.
There was no answer to the note. And the government cashed
the check, to the 78-year-old Nora's disgust.
The news about Knight followed a speech by Prime Minister
Tony Blair, at the annual Labor Party conference in Brighton, in
which he admitted mistakes in handling pensions policy.
(Reuters)
[ To paraphrase Mark Twain, joking with
people who don't have a sense of humor is
like trying to teach a pig to dance. It
wastes time and annoys the pig. ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
UDDERLY RIDICULOUS...
------------------
Fans of the Ajax Amsterdam soccer club have been dismayed
about the poor condition of the field were their team plays. The
grass in the Amsterdam Arena has been replaced 24 times since the
stadium was opened in 1996, but critics say the quality of the
grassless surface has not improved.
The condition of the playing surface has become so bad that
the opposing teams have been requesting - and receiving - a day
or two of practice on the rough field, just to get used to the
rugged playing conditions.
Things got so bad that some of the Ajax fans released a pair
of cows on the field during a game. In one sense, this could
actually help, as the media noted that at least one of the cows
helpfully provided a measure of fertilizer for the field.
(Reuters)
[ Or, was that just another protest? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
MORE SCENTSLESS PROTESTS
------------------------
There are many places where you can smoke in Halifax, Nova
Scotia. And there are a large number of places where you can
drink, even to excess.
But despite the sometimes overwhelming stench of the
Canadian port city, you can't wear perfume, cologne or
aftershave. Opponents say the law stinks.
A scent industry group has risen up against this odd law,
calling it arbitrary and unfair. Incentive for the protest
followed the arrest of a 17-year-old high school student who,
officials said, persistently violated the strict policy banning
perfumes, after-shave and scented hairsprays and deodorants. The
student was expelled for two days and arrested by the Royal
Canadian Mounted Police after a teacher complained his fragrances
made her physically ill.
The ban on perfumes, in place since 1996, is applied at all
public locations, including mass transit, schools and hospitals.
City officials say it is the only law of its kind in North
America. The official explanation is that it was designed to
prevent illness caused by allergies and other discomforts.
"The anti-scent policies - both formal and informal - that
are prevalent in the Halifax area appear to be based on an
appalling lack of factual information," scent industry spokesman
Carl Carter told a news conference on Tuesday in Halifax, the
capital of the east coast province of Nova Scotia. He said the
industry would work to get the law overturned. (Reuters)
[ I suppose you could just make do with a
little Eau d' Fermented Sweat Socks. ]
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PIE, OH MY!
----------
Belgian custard pie thrower Noel Godin, whose targets have
included Microsoft boss Bill Gates, formed a political party in
1999 to take part in regional elections in Belgium.
The party was called TARTE, an the acronym for its name in
French. Translated - and cleaned up for a family audience - this
meant: "All Drunk Let's Party Together." The European fad for
flying food so alarmed the British supermarket chain Tesco's that
they actually undertook a study to see if politicians pelted with
tossed tarts might be injured. The result? Egg custard and
lemon meringue pies proved the best for tossing, as they were
deep and held together well in flight. Always helpful in
fulfilling the needs of their customers, these supermarkets.
In a statement, Godin's group said it was the only party
that promised nothing, stood for no one and was totally
irresponsible. (Reuters)
[ Perhaps they were too honest about not
belonging to the political upper crust; in
the election, they got creamed. ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
© 2001 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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