Hi, again!
Sometimes I think that all of life is a test. At least,
there are weeks it seems that way. We all face some kind of
challenge every day, whether it's a job interview, or an
audition, or a test for school. Life is full of tests.
Customers who call you because a machine is "broken," then won't
let you fix it because they're still using it. Kids that can't
get along. Underwear that bunches up. Having a argument with
someone you love. Saying something really stupid, then not
knowing how to get out of it. Getting behind someone in the fast
line at the supermarket who has a couple of dozen items. Never
getting a winning number in the lottery. These daily exams force
you to check your real values and motives. The only problem with
tests like these is that it's hard to know if you've really
passed. Often, there is no single correct answer and the highest
score is just to keep going without giving up. Don't worry...
This Sunday Funnies Test won't be nearly as frustrating as that.
Gold stars and top scores this week to our contributors and
friends: Caterina Sukup, Sue Yan, Carol Becwar, Tomoko Naito,
Bob Martens, Dale Frederickson, Kerry Miller, Dave Titter, Jerry
Taff, Timothy McChain, John & Ellen Peterson, Sylvia Libin He,
Laura Hong Li, and John Wallner.
By the way, a note for those of you who really hate taking
tests: don't worry, this doesn't count toward your grade. You
are all A-plus students in the things that really count.
Have a Great Week!
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
THE WORLD'S EASIEST TEST...
------------------------
This test has just twenty questions (and one bonus
question), so you should be able to answer them all in just a few
minutes. Write down your answers and see how you do ...
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Catgut comes from what animal?
3) Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days.
How many months have 28 days?
4) Which country gave us Panama hats?
5) I went to bed at eight o'clock in the evening, wound
up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine o'clock
in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get
before the alarm goes off?
6) In which month do Russians celebrate the October
Revolution?
7) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
8) Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
9) How many cubic centimeters of earth are there in a hole
2 meters wide, 3 meters long, and 4 meters deep?
10) If the Vice President of the United States should die,
who would be President?
a) The President Pro Temp. of the Senate
b) The Speaker of the House
c) The Secretary of State
d) None of the above
11) A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are
left?
12) What was King George VI's first name?
13) The Canary Islands are named after what animal?
14) If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK
room, where there was an oil heater, a kerosene lamp,
and a candle, which would you light first?
15) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
16) How many 3-cent stamps in a dozen?
17) A rope ladder is hanging over the side of a ship. The
ladder is 12 feet long, and the rungs are one foot
apart. The lowest rung is just touching the surface of
the ocean. The tide at this location rises at the rate
of four inches per hour. How long will it take before
the bottom four rungs of the ladder are under water?
18) How many animals of each species did Moses take with
him in the Ark?
19) If you drove a bus with 43 people on board from
Chicago, stopping at Cleveland to pick up 7 more people
and drop off 5 passengers and at Pittsburgh to drop off
8 passengers and pick up 4 more and eventually arrive
at Philadelphia 20 hours later, what's the name of the
driver?
20) Who's buried in Grant's Tomb?
********** BONUS QUESTION **********
A) How long did the Thirty Years War last?
---------------
--- ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ BELOW (no peeking!) ---
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
MISSING PARTS...
-------------
This paragraph is unusual. How quickly can you find out
what is so uncommon about it? It looks ordinary and you may think
nothing is odd about it until you match it with most paragraphs
this long. If you put your mind to it, and study it, you will
find out. Go to work and try your skill at figuring it out.
Good Luck.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
CONGRATULATIONS, I THINK... ?
------------------------
Robert Jordan filed suit in Connecticut against the City of
New London Police Academy after he was rejected based on the
results of his intelligence test. No, he didn't score low on the
test, just the opposite. But the police department rejected him
because they felt his exceptionally high intelligence made him
likely to be bored as a police officer.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
THOSE THAT CAN'T DO?
-------------------
As part of an ongoing program to improve education, the
State of Massachusetts recently started testing prospective
teachers on basic skills. The results were a little surprising
-- 59 percent failed the test. Shocked at the low scores, the
Education Commission fudged the test scoring so "only" 44 percent
didn't pass, but that failed to blunt the criticism.
"Teachers are feeling really put upon and demoralized," said
one of the prospective teachers who took the test. "Some are
even switching their majors away from education." (AP)
[ To Politics, maybe? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
ANSWERS TO THE EASIEST TEST...
---------------------------
1) Nope, not 100 years -- the Hundred Years War went on
for 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
2) Catgut comes from sheep, hogs and horses, NOT cats.
3) Twelve -- EVERY month has at least 28 days.
4) Panama hats come from Ecuador.
5) You'd only get 1 hour's sleep. Wind-up alarm clocks do
not separate A.M. and P.M., so the alarm would go off
at the first nine o'clock.
6) The anniversary of the October Revolution is celebrated
in November. During the revolution, the Russian were
still using the Julian calendar, which at the time was
13 days behind ours.
7) Camel's hair brushes are made of Squirrel fir.
8) A man living in the U.S. isn't ready for burial in
Canada or anywhere else until he's no longer living.
9) There's no dirt in an empty hole.
10) The President would still be President, since he didn't
die. He would get to appoint a new Vice President
under the 26th Amendment, though.
11) There are nine sheep left ( ..."all but nine die.")
12) King George's first name was Albert. When he came to
the throne in 1936 he changed his name out of respect
for Queen Victoria's wish that no future king should
ever be called Albert (the name of her late husband).
13) The Canary Islands are named after Dogs. The Romans
called the place "Insularia Canaria" -- Island of the
Dogs -- after the packs of wild dogs running around on
the islands. Those tweety birds were named after the
islands, not the other way around.
14) You'd pretty much have to strike the match first,
right?
15) Chinese gooseberries are native to New Zealand.
16) Did this one catch you? There are always 12 in a dozen,
at whatever price.
17) The bottom rungs on the ladder will never be under
water, unless the ship sinks. The rising tide also
raises the ship, so the distance will stay the same.
18) None. It was Noah who took the animals on the Ark, not
Moses.
19) As stated at the start of the question, YOU drive the
bus.
20) Though the bodies of both President Grant and his wife
are contained inside the famous tomb and New York City
landmark, they are not buried. In an above ground
tomb, bodies aren't buried, they are "entombed."
ANSWER: Nobody is buried in Grant's Tomb.
********** BONUS QUESTION **********
A) From 1618 to 1648 -- Thirty Years. Sorry, Trick
Question...
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
MISSING PART PARAGRAPH -- FIRST DIVISION IN THIS SCRIPT
-------------------------------------------------------
The missing part paragraph contains not a single 'E,' very
strange for an English sentence of more than a word or two, let
alone paragraph.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
© 1998 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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