Greetings, Legal Scholars!
Law is an incredibly complicated subject. Here in the U.S.,
we have Federal Laws, State Laws, County Laws, and Local Laws,
plus the huge number of regulations issued by departments of all
of those. Of course, you are dealing with politicians, who have
many hidden and un-hidden agendas and often do things just for
effect. No wonder some of the laws seem silly, ill-advised or
downright stupid. Of course, many of these laws are so obscure
that local police and prosecutors have no idea they are still on
the books.
Thirty-some years ago here in Wisconsin, we had a law that
made it illegal to sell "colored oleo," which was the proper,
legal name for margarine. The reason was to protect Wisconsin's
famous dairy industry, since margarine has always been cheaper
than butter. If you bought oleo in Wisconsin, you could only buy
the uncolored variety, which tastes the same but looks like
sticks of lard. Stores would nearly always supply a free capsule
of yellow dye, so you could make the oleo look like the "high-
priced spread" if you chose.
Since I lived in a town near the border with Illinois, many
people made money driving across the border, and smuggling back
cases of illegal sandwich spread to sell to their neighbors. Of
course, if you got caught, there was a fine involved. I'd hate
to think that anyone ever went to jail for margarine smuggling.
That law was repealed years ago and margarine is sold in every
store in the state, but one "dairy law" still on the books
requires that prison inmates in Wisconsin still get genuine,
Grade A butter, not the cheap stuff.
Not to butter anyone up, but we do want to send along Thanks
this week to: Bernie & Donna Becwar, Nancy Wohlge, Bob Martens,
Yasmin & Meredith Leischer, Caterina Sukup, Laura Hong Li, Sue
Yan, Timothy McChain, Dale Frederickson, Sylvia Libin He, Ellen
Peterson, Peter Adler, Beth Butler, and Howard Lesniak.
Now it might come as a shock to some of you, but I'm
breaking the law right now as I write this. Next to me is a
piece of wonderful apple pie from a local bakery, and I have to
admit that I am enjoying it. But I'm also breaking Wisconsin
State law, in that I'm eating this piece of apple pie without the
legally required slice of cheese. So while I wait for the
"cheese police" to show up here at SUNFUN Central, you folks
enjoy the sillier side of the law.
Have a great week! (& I'll write if I need bail money...)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
SEE AMERICA AND LIVE FOREVER?
----------------------------
The 1987 U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service law, in
excluding certain illegal immigrants, via a misspelling also
excludes:
"13) Aliens coming into the United States to
engage in any immortal sex act."
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BE GOOD, FOR GOODNESS SAKE...
--------------------------
- In Fostoria, Ohio, it's a violation of a new (1998) law to
"behave badly." Specific examples include: lying, cheating,
littering or using foul language. However, there are no
penalties stipulated for violating the law.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
WE'RE NOT DRESSING...
------------------
- A report by the Tasmanian Law Reform Commission recommended
recently that the law against "being a man going around town
in women's clothing during the hours of darkness" should be
repealed. Other Tasmanian State laws recommended for review
where offenses such as: wandering abroad, fortune telling,
soliciting alms, loitering with reputed thieves and rescuing
an impounded animal.
Fair warning though -- the laws against singing of
profane or indecent songs in public, nude bathing and the
providing of indoor public entertainment on Good Friday or
Christmas Day remain in effect. As does the law making it
illegal to injure a homing pigeon.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
Never On Sunday Department ---
--------------------------
Years ago, there was a whole class of laws designed to
regulate public morality -- something the government is still
trying to do. the laws seemed a little foolish even then. This
being The Sunday Funnies, it is interesting to see just how many
things are illegal in various places on that day. On Sunday you
can't legally:
- Sell a toothbrush and toothpaste to the same customer
in Providence, Rhode Island;
- Buy a television set in Spokane, Washington;
- Kiss your wife in the State of Michigan;
- In Ocean City, New Jersey it's illegal to sell cabbage
on Sunday;
- Fly an airplane over Thomasville, North Carolina
between the hours of 11AM and 1PM;
- Sell either teddy bears or yo-yo's in Memphis,
Tennessee;
- Whistle in the State of Maine;
- Eat snakes in Kansas;
- Putty nail holes in Schenectady, New York;
- Hum on public streets on Sunday in Cicero, Illinois;
- Sell bologna in Memphis, Tennessee;
- Sell cornflakes on a Sunday in Columbus, Ohio;
- Deliver diapers in Massachusetts -- even in an
emergency;
- Give away a fish in Salt Lake City, Utah. (It's also
illegal to furnish free fish on legal holidays.)
In addition, a special law prohibits unmarried (single,
divorced or widowed) women from parachuting on Sunday in Florida.
If they do so, according to the law, they risk arrest, fine,
and/or jail.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
ANIMAL ODDITIES...
---------------
- In Wilbur, Washington, it's illegal to ride an ugly horse.
- A law in Corpus Cristi, Texas makes it illegal to raise
alligators in your home.
[ I can't image this being much of a
problem... ]
- In Idaho, you must have a permit from the sheriff to buy a
chicken after dark.
- Whale hunting is strictly forbidden throughout the entire
state of Oklahoma.
[ Shouldn't be a problem -- the nearest sea
coast is about 400 miles from Oklahoma. ]
- In Minneapolis, Minnesota, it's against the law to keep a
goat in your apartment, though it IS legal for apartment
dwellers there to keep mules.
- You are required by law to step on ALL insects using public
thoroughfares in New York City.
- In the State of Montana, if you catch a "fur-bearing animal"
and tattoo you name on it, the animal thereafter belongs to
you.
[ So all of those bikers belong to "Mom,"
right? ]
- Horses must wear pants at all times, according to the law in
Fountain Inn, South Carolina.
- In the city of Washington, D.C., it's illegal to fist-fight
a bull.
[ Odd given how much bull there is to fight
in Washington, isn't it? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
NOT JUST A JOB DEPARTMENT
-------------------------
- It's illegal for a streetcar conductor in Illinois to
collect fares unless he's wearing a hat.
- It's illegal in Massachusetts to "lounge on the shelves in a
bakery."
- Waterloo, Nebraska barbers are forbidden by law to eat
onions between the hours of 7 AM and 7 PM.
- A law in Marengo, Iowa makes it illegal for more than 27
persons to participate in a baseball game.
- In Blythe, California, you must own at least two cows to
legally wear cowboy boots.
- In Minneapolis, no male doctor can legally appear on any
public dance floor without wearing a tie or cravat.
- In Florida, it's illegal to crack more than three dishes per
day, or chip the edges of more than four cups or saucers.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
CAR & DRIVER DEPARTMENT
-----------------------
- Despite what nearly everyone believes, it is LEGAL to drive
a car in your bare feet, except in Alabama. But it is
against California State law for a woman to drive a car
while wearing a housecoat.
- It's illegal in Florida to transport livestock on a school
bus.
- In Tennessee, it's illegal to drive any car while asleep.
- In Glendale, Arizona, it is against the law for a car to
back up.
- A local law in Cleveland, Ohio, makes it illegal to drive a
car while sitting on another person's lap.
- In Corning, Iowa, it's a misdemeanor for a man to ask his
wife to ride in a motor vehicle.
- A old Milwaukee, Wisconsin ordinance makes it illegal for
any automobile to be parked for over two hours unless
hitched to a horse.
- In Philadelphia, you can't operate an automobile on any
street unless it's been inspected -- by the Bureau of Boiler
Inspection.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO WEIRDLINESS...
----------------------------------
- According to Kentucky state law, everyone in the state must
take a bath at least once a year.
[Whether they need it or not]
- According to Wisconsin law, only one person may take a bath
in a tub at one time.
- In Pennsylvania, not only is it illegal to sell bathtubs,
but you can be arrested for singing while bathing.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
FIRED UP!
--------
- A New York City ordinance says that all whiskers worn in
public by Santa Claus must fireproof.
- It's illegal in Evanston, Illinois to change clothes in a
car with the curtains drawn "except in case of fire."
- Fort Madison, Iowa law stipulates that firemen must practice
fire fighting for at least fifteen minutes before going to
any fire.
- In Ohio, it's illegal to set a fire under your mule.
- A local law in Racine, Wisconsin makes it illegal to wake a
sleeping fireman.
[Even if there's a fire? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
RANDOM POINTS OF LAW
--------------------
- If you're dancing in Iowa City, Iowa, you'd better not be
doing the Charleston, Grizzly Bear, Bunny Hug, Texas Tommy,
or the Turkey Trot.
[ Apparently the Tango, Slam dancing and even
Dirty Dancing are still OK. ]
- In Cleveland, Ohio, you can't get married in a bathing suit.
[ But naked is OK(!) ]
- Kentucky law forbids a woman from marrying the same man more
than four times.
- In Roderfield, West Virginia, there is a law stating that
only babies can ride in baby carriages.
- In San Francisco, California, it's illegal to re-use
confetti.
- It's illegal in Boston, Massachusetts to kiss an actor
during a stage performance.
- A local ordinance in Winston-Salem, North Carolina makes it
illegal for children under seven years of age to go to
college.
- In Los Angeles, California, Babies cannot ride in a grocery
cart that has food in it.
- It is unlawful to drink beer in your underwear in Cushing,
Oklahoma.
[ So it's OK if you're in someone else's
underwear? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
© 1998 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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