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 [ BACK]  [NEXT]                       Issue #039 - 05/11/1997

Thanks, Mom!

Happy Mother's Day.

Hi again, everybody!
     There's no denying that we all owe alot to our mothers.  I
certainly owe alot to my mother, but that's partly because she's
a better money manager than I am.  Mothers are the very center of
the family.  There's an old Italian saying that if the father
dies, the family suffers, but if the mother dies, the family
ceases to exist.  As much as we fathers hate to admit it, that's
pretty much true.
     Besides thanks to all of the moms in our little group,
thanks go out this week to Peter Adler, John Adler, Ellen
Peterson, and Emiko Hori (Etsuko's Mom) for their contributions.
And to Liz Soutar for permission to quote from her Nap Notes Web
Page.  Special Thanks to Carol (my dear bride) for the kids and
to Donna Becwar for me!  Happy Mother's Day!
     Have a great week,



Mother Hubbard, Mama Mia, Mother-of-Pearl, Mother-in-law, Fairy
Godmother, Mother Jones, Mother Teresa, Queen Mother, Mother of
All Battles, Mother Board, Mother's Milk, Soccer Moms, Mother
Lode, Mother of Invention, Motherhood, Mother Church, Mother
Carey's Chicken, Mother May I?, Mother Country, Mother Figure,
Mother of My Children, Mother Image, Motherhouse, Motherland,
Motherly, Mom, Grandmother, Mother of Vinegar, Mother Superior,
Mother Tongue and Motherwort.


     The most children born to one mother ever recorded is 69(!).
That record belongs to the wife of one Feodor Vassilyev, a
peasant near Moscow in the 18th century. His wife gave birth to
69 children - including 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets 
and four sets of quadruplets. Only two of the children, born from 
1725-65 died in infancy. 
     The current champion mom is Leonita Albina of San Antonio,
Chile, with a total of 55 children. Only 40 children survive.

          [ Hmm...  69 kids and ONE bathroom! ]



     LONDON (Reuter)--A terrified British mother put police on
red alert after two phone calls woke the woman in Devizes,
southern England, in the small hours of the morning. Hearing
moaning, groaning and shouting, she dismissed the first as an
obscene call, but in the second she recognized her daughter
crying: ``Oh my God,'' and heard a man's voice.
     Convinced her young daughter was being attacked in her
apartment bedroom 100 miles (160 km) away, she dialed police and
a squad sped to the daughter's home to investigate. They
discovered that the daughter was fine - and had company.  During
a session of love-making, the couple had accidentally hit the
auto-dial button on the daughter's telephone.
     Police took the matter more sternly than you would expect,
"This is a warning for other people--if you're going to indulge
in this sort of thing, move the phone."  Reaction of the mother
was not recorded, but was probably even more stern.



  Mother: "Eat your spinach, dear. It will put color into your

  Son:    "But who wants to have green cheeks?"


  Mom:    "I don't want you using those bad words any more."

  Son:    "But, Mother, Shakespeare uses them."

  Mom:    "Well, don't play with him again.'


        Tim was  a 8th grade student. He got 98 in the math test,
so his father gave him 10 dollars as a reward for his effort.

  Mother: Timmy, now you got 10 dollars in your pocket. How are
          you going to use it?

  Tim:    (Thinks for a while) I'll buy some candy.

  Mother: Oh, be mature, hon.

  Tim:    (Thinks for another moment) Well, then I'll buy some



     A police detective driving a patrol car past the downtown
Auckland, New Zealand, marriage registry office was startled to
see a man, chased by two women, run up to his car. "He leapt into
the back and said, 'Quick, drive!'," said Detective Senior Sgt.
Tony Wakelin. 
     The women were the man's bride-to-be and her mother; when he
found out where they were and why, he bolted out the door -- with
the two in hot pursuit. The mother wanted the couple to marry
when she found her daughter was pregnant. The officer helped him
get away from the women, but said he was not interested in taking
any further part in the couple's wedding plans. (Reuter)

     [ Three Rings: Engagement, Wedding, and Teething... ]



     Last December, officials at the Wellington (New Zealand)
City Art Gallery denied entry to a 9-day-old baby when his mother
sought to buy a ticket.  Director Paula Savage said the gallery's
policy of not permitting minors during the exhibit of
controversial photographer Robert Mapplethorpe's work would be
strictly enforced.


MOM, I'M HOME...  (Your Home!)

     Last November, a judge in Rome ruled that a 24-year-old man
was entitled to live with his mother even though she doesn't want
him to.  Said the woman, "If he comes home then I'm [leaving]."  



     Status and seeking a place in society starts young in some
places.  According to an Associated Press story, young mothers in
large Japanese cities have adopted the city park as a place to
compete for status.  Some young mothers interviewed claimed they
were "afraid" to take their toddlers to the parks (to make their
"park debut") because of the established small groups of mothers
who dominate the facilities.  Guidebooks teach the proper "park
behavior"; department stores feature the proper "park clothing";
and a recent comedy movie was about a park ruled by 50
authoritarian mothers. 



    A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their
bedroom early one morning.  The 7-year-old gets the idea that
since they are getting older it is time that they begin swearing. 
When his little brother agrees, the 7-year old says, "I know! 
When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I'll say 'hell'
and you say 'ass'."  The 4-year-old happily agrees.
     As the two boys are seating themselves at the breakfast
table, their mother walks in and asks her older son what he would
like to eat for breakfast.  The 7-year-old replies, "Aw hell,
mom, I'll just have some Cheerios."
    WHACK! The surprised mother reacts quickly.  The older boy
runs upstairs, crying and rubbing his behind.  With a stern note
in her voice, the mother then asks the younger son, "And what
would YOU like for breakfast?"
    "I don't know,"  the 4-year-old says, "but you can bet your
ass it's not gonna be Cheerios!"



     A young boy and his mother were standing in line a grocery
store behind a large woman who wore a beeper on her belt. 
Suddenly, the pager went off. 
     The little boy cried out, "Careful, Mommy--she's backing


          by Liz Soutar

     People often ask me how I can stand to stay home all day
with the kids. You know "just" be a full time Mom. Well, I hope
this clears things up. 
     I used to do the nine to five thing. It was definitely not
for me. I seldom found it challenging or rewarding. But, that
might have been because the hours were too short, and I didn't
have enough responsibility.
     My new position is in management. I currently have two
people to supervise. Soon our company will be expanding and I
will be the head of a department of three. These workers are not
always cooperative, and often do not follow company policy or
protocol. I attribute this to their being young and headstrong. I
do see a lot of potential however, and am sure they will be great
achievers if supervised properly. 
     The hours are long. I work seven days a week from about six
in the morning to eight-thirty at night. I am also called to work
many times during my off hours. The good news is I get an hour
for lunch and a very able assistant in the evenings and on
     The salary is a little low but there is a great reward
program. In fact, I had a rewarding experience today which
prompted me to write this job description. My oldest employee got
a promotion. She is starting to head into management herself and
was helping a younger staff member. The two of them were snuggled
up in our comfiest office "reading" a book. 
     Talk about benefits. 


          Nap Time Notes are the upbeat musings of a
          90's mom written while the kids are napping! 
          Share a smile before they wake up.  Full-time
          mom Liz Soutar has more Nap Time Notes
          available on her web page at: 


          The graphics by her husband, Larry  are
          pretty cool, too.

            Copyright 1996, 1997 by Liz Soutar. 
         All rights reserved. Used by Permission. 


                    HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

© 1997 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.