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 [ BACK]  [NEXT]                       Issue #029 - 03/02/1997


These Crooks Just Aren't So Bright...

Hello, All!
     It's been a while since I went through the crooks file, and I
discovered another stack of crime stories.  Amazing the lengths
people will go to just to get into jail, isn't it?
     One little note of business before we get on with things.  If
you are really looking closely this Monday morning, you might
notice that my Email address and home of SUNFUN has changed just
slightly.  The '72060.251, etc.' should have been replaced by now

I have to stay up with the times and upgrade as the opportunity
comes along, right?  The numbered account marks me as being one of
the real 'old-timers' out here in cyberspace, back in the days when
300 Baud was normal and 1200 Baud was really fast(!).  But just so
you know, I still get mail sent to either address; the old address
is forwarded to the new one, so feel free to use either address for
     Of course, SUNFUN Thanks go out this week to: Daniel Butler,
Peter Adler, Helen Yee and Bob Martens for their contributions.  I
always enjoy the great stuff you folks send me, and I really
couldn't do this without you!  Now, flip on the lights and siren
and roll out for the SUNFUN crime report...
     Have a great week!


     [ Crime May Be Habit Forming...  ]

   - In September, according to police in Junction City, Kansas,
     David Bell, 30, who was just released from jail for car
     theft, walked out the door and stole another car to get

   - Last October, William B.  Singleton, 24, just released from
     jail in Belton, Missouri, on a larceny charge, allegedly
     broke into a vending machine in the lobby of the police
     station and stole a 60-cent Strawberry Twisteroo candy while
     he waited for his ride to arrive.

   - A man convicted of robbery in Texas worked out a deal to pay
     $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For
     payment, he provided the court a check -- a *forged* check.
     He got 10 years.

   - EAST NORRITON, Pennsylvania (Philadelphia Online, 02-18) -
     William Charlton was arrested for trying to steal a TV set at
     a local Kmart store. As soon as he was released on a $2,500
     bond, Charlton took a cab to the same Kmart and tried stealing
     another TV set.  He almost got away with it, but the cab
     driver would not move unless Charlton paid him $25. Too bad
     Charlton did not have the money.  He was arrested again.

   - VIRGINIA BEACH, VA. (01-20) -- Tony Brite - obviously not
     living up to his name - showed up at his preliminary hearing
     on a car theft charge driving a brand new Volvo with New
     York license plates.  Yes, it was stolen.

   - According to a story in the Eugene, Oregon Register-Guard,
     convicted con man Anthony Fiederer started the local
     Alzheimer's Foundation in 1993 and raised $36,000, of which
     $200 went toward  Alzheimer's research and $14,000 was
     allegedly embezzled by Fiederer.  The newspaper also
     reported that Fiederer initially used his involvement with
     his Foundation to satisfy a "community service" sentence  on
     a previous conviction for swindling and that he used
     Foundation funds to make court-ordered restitution to
     victims in that case. [Eugene Register-Guard, 7-18-95] 



   - A German "tourist" at London's Heathrow Airport, supposedly
     on a golf holiday, showed up at customs with his golf bag.
     While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official
     realized that the tourist didn't even know what a "handicap"
     is. The customs official asked the tourist to demonstrate
     his swing, which he did -- backwards! A substantial amount
     of narcotics was found in the golf bag.

   - A woman in Berlin Germany, apparently deciding that her skin
     cream was no longer working for her, decided that she would
     just have to bathe in the  milk of a camel like a modern-day
     Cleopatra.  So she stole a camel from the Berlin Zoo - The
     only place she could find a camel locally - and transported
     it back to her house.  She might have actually succeeded in
     her goofy scheme, except that the camel's name was 'Otto' and
     he happened to be a HE!

   - Steven King of Decatur, Alberta, robbed a convenience store
     but left his wallet, which contained his identification,
     behind. His get away car broke down, and three men beat him up
     when they mistook him for an intruder at his girlfriend's

   - Troy Durben of California, was described by police as
     "extremely bold or extremely stupid," when he returned to cash
     his paycheck at the same bank he robbed six days before.

   - A 33-year-old woman stole several wallets from customers at a
     grocery store. Fleeing the store, she allegedly dumped the
     wallets into a produce bin. One of the wallets was her own.
     One of the victims identified the crook from her photo-ID. The
     accused thief was later arrested after she called police to
     report her wallet is missing.

   - Two men in Virginia drove their pickup truck went to a     
     new-home site in order to steal a refrigerator. After causing
     serious damage to the home they were robbing, stole a
     refrigerator from the house, and loaded it onto the pickup.
     The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these geniuses
     decided that the refrigerator was too heavy. Banging up *more*
     walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator BACK into the
     house, and returned to their pickup truck, only to realize
     that they locked the keys in the truck -- so they abandoned


   - MOSCOW, (01-06) -- During his daily walk, a cat owner
     decided to place his Siamese pet around his neck as an added
     protection against the freezing temperatures.
          As the cat owner walked down the street in Moscow, a
     thief tried to grab hold of the kitty, obviously mistaking
     it for an expensive fur collar. The cat responded by sinking
     its teeth and claws into the thief's hand. The local
     newspaper Vologodskiy Novosti reported the thief, who was
     pretty stunned by the whole thing, immediately disappeared.



   - When President Clinton decided to take a swim at Daytona
     Beach, Fla., three Secret Service agents assigned to protect
     him had no choice but to follow him in. When they came
     ashore, the agents' Secret Service badges, wallets, credit
     cards, jewelry, hotel room keys, sun glasses, watches, and
     shoes and socks were all missing from the beach. (Reuter)

          [ The Republicans are reported to be very upset that
          the bad guys took the stuff and left Clinton. ]

   - LIMA, Peru (12-17) -- Responding to a robbery in progress,
     the police officers caught the robbers after a car chase
     through a remote Andean village. The thieves escaped arrest
     after bribing the officers with a "thick pile" of cash,
     according to witnesses.  When counting the money the next
     morning, the policemen found out the robbers had given them
     counterfeit money.

   - In May, a federal judge in Beaumont, Texas, issued a
     permanent injunction against the Quadro Corporation of
     Harleyville, South Carolina, which had been selling an
     illegal-drug finding device to government agencies and
     schools for up to $8,000 each. FBI tests had found the
     device merely a plastic box equipped with a radio antenna,
     completely incapable of detecting drugs or anything else.
     However, several law enforcement officers and school
     principals swore to the judge that the Quadro Tracker worked
     for them.


   - Darrel J. Voeks, 46, has been convicted of livestock theft
     and sentenced to 10 years in prison. Voeks stole $96,965
     worth of pigs from his Outagamie County, Wisconsin employer,
     said he needed money to help his family. But District
     Attorney Vince Biskupic argued that Voeks, who had two prior
     convictions for  livestock theft, instead used the money "to
     support his own vices, simply to satisfy his own selfish
     desires." How? By using it to gamble and to tip strippers --
     including $3,000 he gave to a dancer so she could get breast
     implants. (AP)

     [ This little piggy went to jail... ]



   - In November, Newcastle, England, farmer David Cannon, 66,
     was convicted of criminal damage and fined about $3,200. His
     patience exhausted after a five-year dispute with the
     National Westminster Bank that is still not resolved, Cannon
     had sprayed four tons of cow manure over the bank building,
     which required workers two weeks to clean.

   - Six Edmonton, Alberta (Canada), police cruisers chased and
     stopped a Loomis armored car in May after a report that it
     was weaving erratically down the road and that a guard
     appeared to be signaling by repeatedly swinging one of the
     doors open.  There was no holdup, according to the police;
     rather, one of the guards had passed gas, and the other 
     guard was trying to air out the cab. 

© 1997 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.