Hello again!
Languages are always changing. Like stars in the Milky Way,
rock musicians and TV news sets, new words are forever being
created as old ones fade away. Since it takes a while for words
to make it into dictionaries, there are always new words floating
around that lack "official" definitions. In some other
languages, most notably French, there are government agencies
that set the proper definitions of new words. The French Academy
recently spent an amazing amount of time trying to decide whether
to call a French woman heading a government agency "Madame Le
Ministre" or "Madame La Ministre." The guardians of French
language purity came down on the side of the feminine 'La.' I
suppose that's just to remind us the chauvinism also originated
in France.
With the rapid pace of life these days, new words are being
created at an amazing rate. This week SUNFUN looks at some of
the newer words and phrases that haven't yet made it into
dictionaries, though some of them might be fairly well known
within a given field. Since there's no such thing as the
"English Academy," feel free to use them any way you want - or
even invent some yourself. English is a very democratic
language.
Greetings and Thanks this week to: Jerry Taff, Laura Hong
Li, Arlen Walker, Dick Ginkowski, Timothy McChain, Paul Roser,
Jerry Taff, Dale Frederickson, Naomi Ogawa, John Peterson, Carol
Becwar, Vic Parrhysius and Don Ney. Yes, I do know that I listed
Jerry twice, but he sent LOTS of stuff last week! Have fun using
the new words around the office and...
Have a great week!
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
TIME TO UPDATE THOSE DICTIONARIES...
---------------------------------
- 404 - Someone who is clueless, from the World Wide Web
error message "404 Not Found", meaning the
requested document couldn't be located. "Don't
bother asking him, he's 404 on that."
- ACCORDIONATED - Being able to drive and refold a road map
at the same time.
- ADMINISTRATISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers
beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions
that fall from the administratisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the
problems they were designed to solve.
- ALMOND JOY THEORY - when a person's behavior cannot be
explained. It was inspired by the slogan for the
popular candy bar, "Sometimes you feel like a nut,
sometimes you don't."
- ALPHA GEEK - The most knowledgeable, technically
proficient person in an office or work group.
"Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
- BEEPILEPSY - The brief seizure people sometimes suffer
when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator
mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy
facial expressions, and stopping speech in
mid-sentence.
- BLAMESTORMING - From "brainstorming"; sitting around in a
group discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed and who was responsible.
- BUSHLIPS - A political statement that is said just for
effect - even the guy saying it obviously doesn't
believe it. The expression came about after
George Bush's infamous 1988 presidential campaign
proclamation "Read my lips: no new taxes."
- BUZZACKS - People in telephone stores who walk around
picking up display phones and listening for dial
tones even when they know the phones are not
connected.
- CGI JOE - A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the
social skills and charisma of a plastic action
figure.
- CHAINSAW CONSULTANT - An outside expert brought in to
reduce the employee head count, leaving the top
managers with clean hands.
- (doing a) CLINTON - A complete policy reversal. Of
course, there is more than one kind: a "half
Clinton" is a regular policy reversal, a "full
Clinton" is a 180 degree turnaround of policy,
while a "double Clinton" is a complete reversal
followed by a denial that anything was changed.
- CLM (Career-Limiting Move) - Used among microserfs to
describe an ill-advised activity. Saying bad
things about your boss while he or she is within
earshot is a serious CLM.
- COBWEB SITE - A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been
updated for a long time. A dead web page.
- CUBE FARM - An office divided into small cubicles.
- DEAD TREE EDITION - Refers to the paper version of a
publication available in both printed and
electronic formats, as in: "The dead tree edition
of the San Francisco Chronicle..."
- DORITO SYNDROME - Feelings of dissatisfaction and
emptiness triggered by addictive substances that
lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours
surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of
Dorito Syndrome."
- EGO SURFING - Scanning the Net, databases, print media,
and so on, looking for references to one's own
name.
- EIFFELITES - Tall, wide people sitting in front of you at
the movies who, no matter what direction you lean
in, follow suit.
- ELBONICS - The actions of two people maneuvering for one
armrest in a movie theater.
- ELECELLERATION - The mistaken notion that the more you
press an elevator button the faster it will
arrive.
- ELVIS YEAR - The peak year of something's popularity -
Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993.
- FRUST - The small line of debris that refuses to be swept
onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person
across the room until he finally decides to give
up and sweep it under the rug.
- GLAZING - Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes
open. A popular pastime at conferences and
early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that
half the room was glazing by the second session?"
- GRAY MATTER - Older, experienced business people hired by
young entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more
reputable and established.
- GRAYBAR LAND - The place you go while you're staring at a
computer that's processing something very slowly
(while you watch the gray bar creep across the
screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed
like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."
- GROUNDHOG TEST - The initial turn on of a hardware system
after servicing or installation. Refers to the
holiday 'Groundhog's Day.' If you plug in a
particular piece of hardware and see your shadow
in the flash of sparks, it will probably take six
weeks to get it running again.
- GRASSY KNOLL THEORY - A goofy, far-out-in-left-field idea.
- I'LL CALL YOU - Get lost, you'll never hear from me again.
- IDEA HAMSTERS - People who always seem to have their idea
generators running.
- IT'S A FEATURE - From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a
feature." Used sarcastically to describe an
unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.
- KEYBOARD PLAQUE - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud
found on computer keyboards. "Are there any other
terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of
keyboard plaque."
- KNEE PILOT - A Salesperson driving down the freeway with a
cell phone and pager in one hand and a day planner
and coffee cup in the other.
- LET'S DO LUNCH - I like you but you're a loser.
- LET'S DO SUSHI - The start of a true friendship.
- MOUSE POTATO - The on-line generation's answer to the
couch potato.
- OHNOSECOND - The minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize you've just made a big mistake.
- OPEN-COLLAR WORKERS - People who work at home or
telecommute.
- PEPPIER - The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole
purpose seems to be walking around asking diners
if they want ground pepper.
- PETONIC - One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a
household pet.
- PHONESIA - The affliction of dialing a phone number and
forgetting whom you were calling just as they
answer.
- PRAIRIE DOGGING - When something loud happens in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to
see what's going on.
- PUPKIS - The moist residue left on a window after a dog
presses its nose to it.
- (a) RIG - Outrageously phony silicon breast implants, i.e.
Pamela Anderson Lee, Demi Moore, etc.
- SEQUELVISION - Writing that leaves hooks for more stories
to be told from the same plot. "'Batman Returns'
was filmed in sequelvision."
- SITCOM - Stands for Single Income, Two Children,
Oppressive Mortgage.
- SMOKE TEST - Trying out a newly installed piece of
electronic equipment. If smoke comes out, you'll
be there a while. See 'Groundhog Test.'
- SPAM - Electronic junk mail sent in great volumes by tiny
companies desperate for business and get-rich-
quick chain letter writers. The Hormel Company,
owners of the trademark "Spam", wish we'd stop
using this one. They're afraid it will give their
mysterious meat product a bad name.
- SQUIRT THE BIRD - To transmit a signal up to a satellite.
From TV News. "Crew and talent are ready... what
time do we squirt the bird?"
- STRESS PUPPY - A person who thrives on being stressed-out
and whiny.
- TELECRASTINATION - The act of always letting the phone
ring at least twice before you pick it up, even
when you're only six inches away.
- TOURISTS - Those who take training classes just to take a
vacation from their jobs - "We had three serious
students in the class; the rest were tourists."
- UNDER MOUSE ARREST - Getting your online service cancelled
for violating a service provider's rule of
conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL
put me under mouse arrest."
- WORLD WIDE WAIT - The real meaning of 'WWW.'
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
© 1998 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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