DON'T WORRY, WE'LL THINK OF A TITLE

I Read It In The Papers...

Greetings SUNFUNers,
     Some weeks, it seems, are weirder than others.  So, how
weird was this week?  Picture the Pope on a skateboard, playing
"Ina Gada Da Vida" on a ukelele while reciting the words to the
"Gilligan's Island" theme song in Swahili.
     OK, so it wasn't that weird, but it was close.  That being
the case, I didn't have the time required to research enough
stuff for the SUNFUN Episode that was supposed to run this week. 
This is known locally as the excuse part of the proceedings.
     The sad fact is, I have other things to keep me busy
occasionally, and, since this SUNFUN thing pays about as well as
tips at a miser's convention, this'll have to do for now, even
though I've done this SUNFUN thing 300 times now.
     Unless one of you cares to make me independently wealthy...
     Right.  Didn't think so.
     SUNFUN  Thanks this week to: Donna Becwar, Nnamdi Elleh,
Caterina Sukp, Jerry Taff, Howard Lesniak, Rosana Leung, Judy
McCallum, Bob Martens, Carol J. Becwar, Arlen Walker, Ellen
Peterson, Kerry Miller, Yasmin Leischer and Bruce Gonzo.  And
Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there, too.  (OK, so it's
a little obvious.  But it was cheaper than buying a card.)
     Have A Great Week,


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HISTORY WITH A BANG
-------------------
     We tend to think of archaeology museums as pretty quiet and
reserved places, without all that much excitement and danger,
right?
     Maybe we'll have to change that idea, according to a report
in New Scientist magazine.  It turns out that old cannonballs -
the kind that are nothing more than a large, heavy lump of iron,
can still explode centuries after they were made.  Even the ones
that don't contain explosive.
     Robert Child, of the National Museums and Galleries of Wales
in Cardiff, told the magazine that he had recorded several
instances where the old rusted balls of metal started to heat up
and turn red, or explode after being exposed to oxygen.  In one
case, a ball retrieved from a 1691 wreck heated up to a few
hundred degrees after several minutes in the open air, began to
glow a dull red and started burning its way through the pine
table.
     Child said in several cases the prized artifacts had split
open many weeks after they were pulled from the sea.
     He said the explosions happened because the balls had
developed a lattice-like porous structure over hundreds of years
that reacted with oxygen to produce massive amounts of heat.
     The combination of oxygen and sea salt caused rapid
oxidation resulting in the balls "exploding" open and crumbling
into bits.  (Reuters)
          [ So be wary of archaeologists bearing
          gifts... ]


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FLIGHT RISKS...
------------
     Speaking of dangers, the Homeland Security Administration
finally released some guidelines about what you can and cannot
carry on an airplane.  The is the agency's first work of
significance beyond setting up the security "color levels" that
reflect how secure we should all feel.
     We're at security level orange while secret forces search
for a bearded villain in remote caves while a secret counter
government is in a hidden bunker, ready to take over at any time. 
Does anyone in government understand just how much this reality
sounds like the plot of a really bad spy movie?  Geez...  They
run across a "Mini Me" in the caves over there and it will be a
long time before anyone takes this seriously.
     Anyway, for those of you who travel, here's the new list of
what you now can and can't officially take with you on an
commercial air flight in the US:


Items permitted in aircraft cabins: 

   - Pets (if permitted by airline, check with airline for
     procedures) 

   - Walking canes and umbrellas (once inspected to ensure
     prohibited items are not concealed) 

   - Nail clippers with nail files attached 

   - Nail files 

   - Tweezers 

   - Safety razors (including disposable razors) 

   - Syringes (with medication and professionally printed label
     identifying medication or manufacturer's name) 

   - Eyelash curlers 



     Items prohibited from aircraft cabins:

     Ammunition, Automatic weapons, Axes, Baseball bats, BB guns,
Billy clubs, Blackjacks, Blasting caps, Bows and arrows, Box
cutters, Brass knuckles, Bull whips, Cattle prods, Compressed air
guns, Corkscrews, Cricket bats, Crow bars, Disabling chemicals or
gases, Dog repellent spray, Dynamite, Fire extinguishers, Flare
pistols, Golf clubs, Gun lighters, Gunpowder, Hammers, Hand
grenades, Hatchets, Hockey sticks, Ice axe/Ice pick, Knives (any
length), Kubatons, Large, heavy tools (such as wrenches, pliers,
etc.), Mace, Martial arts devices, Meat cleavers, Metal scissors
with pointed tips, Pepper spray, Pistols, Plastic explosives,
Pool cues, Portable power drills & power saws, Razor blades (not
in a cartridge), Replica weapons, Revolvers, Rifles, Road flares,
Sabers, Screwdrivers, Ski poles, Spear guns, Stun guns/shocking
devices, Swords, Tear gas, Toy transformer robots (this toy forms
a toy gun) and Toy weapons.
          [ So, somewhere in the gray area are
          briefcases, bombs and brickbats, just in the
          B's alone.  Of course, this list is only
          valid in Security color level Cyan, and only
          on Tuesdays, except during lent.  You knew
          you could trust the government to make it
          simple, right? ]


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UNSAFE AT ANY READ
------------------
     Consumer Reports magazine, that guide to safety conscious
shoppers, gave about 15,000 new subscribers an embarrassing
welcome for taking out a subscription.
     Federal regulators said on Tuesday that Consumers Union, the
nonprofit publisher of Consumer Reports, had sent the new
subscribers a glove compartment organizer as a gift.  A gift that
contained a defective tire pressure gauge and a flashlight that
could overheat and start a fire.
     "We need to test any product that we offer as a premium in
our own labs with the same rigor with which we rate the products
you see in Consumer Reports," said Consumers Union President and
Chief Executive Jim Guest. 
     An embarrassed Consumer Reports said it received eight
complaints from subscribers in late April about the kits.  Two
people reported minor burns from the flashlight, while others
reported its case had melted and two complained about the tire
gauge's accuracy.  (Reuters)


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WHERE L.A. DOESN'T MEAN LOST ALWAYS...
-----------------------------------
     Frustrated by highway bureaucracy in the Los Angeles area,
and sure that anyone could make a better sign at one interchange
than the state had provided, a Southern California artist made
his own unofficial sign and installed it at on of LA's most
confusing freeway interchanges.
     It was a fake.  But such a clever fake that not even
Caltrans, the people responsible for the signs, realized it was
not one of their own, but a hand-painted replica. 
     Richard Ankrom, 46, said he thought of the project three
years ago but didn't actually do it until last August.  As
thousands of motorists passed below, Ankrom went to work in a
hard hat and orange reflective vest to avoid raising suspicion. 
His pickup truck carried a contractor-style logo on the side that
read: Aesthetic De Construction.
     The work is so genuine that state transportation officials
didn't know it was "functional art" until a newspaper column
leaked the news last month.  There are no plans to take down the
sign or pursue charges.
     "The experts are saying that Mr. Ankrom did a fantastic
job," said Jeanne Bonfilio, a state transportation spokeswoman. 
"They thought it was an internal job."  (Reuters/AP)
          [ It was the signature in the corner that
          finally gave it away... ]


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POLITICAL COMPETITION...
---------------------
     Ed Thompson, current candidate for governor of the state of
Wisconsin, wants you to know that he's the brother of the former
governor, Tommy Thompson.  He obviously wants you to know that
partly so you will believe he isn't a complete whacko.
     But the mayor of Tomah, a town of 8,000 northwest of
Madison, believes that one reason folks should vote for him is
that he is tougher than Minnesota's former Navy SEAL governor,
Jesse Ventura, and Thompson wants to prove it.
     Thompson has said more than once that he wants to go a round
with Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura in the boxing ring, and, as
enticement to Minnesota's media-savvy chief executive, says he
wants to do it during halftime of a future Vikings-Packers game.
     The Tomah mayor is a former Gold Glove boxer who has taken
part in a half-dozen "Toughman" contests and is running for
governor as a third-party candidate.
     "That's the fight I like, me and Jesse Ventura, if you can
set that one up,  I would be the happiest guy in town," Thompson
told the Minneapolis Star Tribune.
     While Ventura wishes Thompson luck in the political ring,
there's no chance he'll box Thompson, Ventura's spokesman John
Wodele said.  (AP)
          [ Under Ed, the new state motto of Wisconsin
          would be "Our Governor's Tougher Than Your
          Governor." ]


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OH, BOY!
-------
     Mothers who have complained through the centuries that their
sons will be the death of them may be right, according to a
Finnish study, anyway.
     The study, published on Thursday, shows having boys shortens
a woman's life span.  Each son takes an average of 34 weeks off a
woman's life span, evolutionary biologist Samuli Helle and
colleagues at the University of Turku found.
     On the other hand, having daughters adds to a woman's life
span, but only very slightly, said the report in Friday's issue
of the journal Science.
     Helle, a Ph.D student at the university, was trying to prove
having large families can cause women to die early.  But his
study of church records among the Sami people of northern
Scandinavia found that family size could not predict reliably
that a woman would die young.  But having boys did.
     "Our results suggest that giving birth to sons had a higher
relative long-term survival cost for mothers than giving birth to
and raising daughters," they wrote.
     Reasons given suggested both chemical and biological reasons
for the mom's trouble with boys, but Helle may have come up with
the most direct reason of all.
     "Generally, boys get on their mothers' nerves more than
girls because they are running around, and girls are more willing
to help their mothers," he said.  (Reuters)


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