Howdy Taxpayers,
If you've been following the news, you know that the Senate
wants to cut taxes a little and George Dubya wants to cut them a
lot. And Congress wants to cut them too, but doesn't know how
much. It doesn't take much to sense a theme here.
This is not a new story. Everyone wants their taxes to go
down, just as long as their own favorite government programs and
deductions are unaffected. That said, there is a definite
feeling of satisfaction in getting a refund out of the tax
people, especially if it is on "questionable" deduction. As Will
Rogers said, "The income tax has made more liars out of the
American people than golf has." (Note to the IRS: All of my
deductions are legit. Even those 900 calls. That was legitimate
research for this SUNFUN thing. Trust me.)
In the 1950's, actress and movie star Loretta Young swept
into our living rooms on her weekly television show, always
wearing an elegant evening gown - a different gown each week.
Loretta was also a cheapskate, so she deducted the cost of each
gown from her income taxes as "costumes," which are allowed
deductions. The IRS rejected this because they failed the simple
test "You could wear them on the street," which means they are
ordinary clothing and not deductible as a business expense.
"Why I can't even sit down in most of them," Loretta argued.
"I'll tell you what," the IRS agent said, "you model them
for me. The ones you can't sit down in, I'll allow."
Getting a notice from the IRS is gauranteed to make any of
us a little nervous. It is probably worth paying attention to
any organization that can send you to prison. Keep in mind that,
despite what you might have seen in the movies, it wasn't the
Untouchables who got Al Capone. Even with dozens of government
agencies trying to put Big Al in the big house on charges of
murder, mayhem, racketeering, violation of prohibition laws,
prostitution, bribery, gambling, firearms violations, smuggling,
extortion, and conspiracy, they couldn't touch him. It was the
IRS that finally put Capone away for ten years for failing to pay
taxes on his illegal booty.
Thanks this week to our loyal SUNFUN fans and contributors,
especially: Caterina Sukup, Jerry Taff, Kenn Venit, Kerry Miller,
Carol J. Becwar, Alison Becwar, John Michalski, Kathleen
Beckmann, Catherine Cassidy, Miki, Junji & Hitoshi Taniguchi,
Brian Siegl, Charlie Beckman and Donna Becwar. We are dependent
on you all, of course, but IRS regulations would probably
prohibit you from claiming SUNFUN as a dependant. I guess we
shouldn't complain too much; "Taxes are the price of
civilization," as U.S. Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell
Holmes once said. Not that we are always happy to pay our share
for running this place. But complaining to the tax folks never
helps. I was told by the IRS that they expect us to pay our
taxes with a smile. That's a relief... I thought they wanted
money.
Have A Great Refund,
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
POST DATED
----------
Nothing amuses the IRS more than seeing the huge lines that
develop around post offices in the U.S. every April 15th. In
many places, these have become annual events, with folks
desperate to get their mail postmarked before the magical
midnight on tax day.
Something like 40% of American taxpayers don't file their
returns until the last week before April 15. If anyone bothered
to ask them, the tax folks are quite candid that their processing
centers are receiving tax forms by the truckload in mid-April,
and no one there has the time to check individual returns to see
if they were a day or two late getting in the mail. A week or
two late is another story, since the IRS figures that even the
most disorganized postal districts should have gotten their act
together by then.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
ANOTHER PAIN IN THE GLASS
-------------------------
In the late 1600's, Ireland enforced a "window tax."
Homeowners were assessed according to the number of
windows in their houses.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
BUSINESS DEDUCTION DEPARTMENT
-----------------------------
Tax codes generally recognize that supporting businesses is
the best way to create employment and that tax breaks for
legitimate business expenses are a good idea. But since some
people have pretty weird ideas about what legitimate means, the
arguments can be pretty strange.
There's the case of the worker in Denmark who claimed a
deduction under the corporate tax laws. As with most other tax
codes, investments to improve or maintain facilities for a
business are tax-deductible.
In this case, the tax board agreed that, since she works in
a massage parlor, her breast implants were a legitimate deduction
allowed under "plant maintenance." (Reuters)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
MARRIAGE PENALTY?
----------------
In 1695, English law levied a tax on bachelors. At the
time, it seemed like a good idea to inspire eligible
Englishmen to choose a bride. In 1820, the state of
Missouri levied a one-dollar tax on bachelors from ages
twenty-one to fifty.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
HIT WITH A FEE
--------------
One of the Beatles hit records in the 60's was "Tax Man,"
written in protest after the fab four were singled out for
special treatment by the British Inland Revenue office.
Not that the Beatles didn't have some reason to complain.
For one thing, it recently came to light that the Customs and
Excise Department is still holding 10 gold records seized from
the group 37 years ago. The disks were awarded to each of the
Beatles by Capitol Records in 1964 to mark the huge sales of "A
Hard Days Night" and "Something New." The records are said to be
nicely made, but not particularly valuable, as they are simply
gold-painted vinyl. On returning to the UK, the Beatles were
told that they'd have to pay a fairly outrageous sum to bring the
golden disks into the country, even though they were just
keepsakes. The Beatles told the tax folks they wouldn't pay that
much. It wasn't that they didn't have the cash - it was just the
principle of the thing.
And that's where matters stand today. The tax folks and
representatives of the Beatles could never come to an agreement
on the price, so customs is still stuck with them. They had
tried selling them as early as 1967, but found that there was no
law that covered the sales or setting a price. (Reuters)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
MANUAL WARFARE
--------------
Widely hailed as the world's most confusing
publication, the official manual of the U.S. Internal
Revenue Service is a staggering pile amounting to
38,000 pages of fine print.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
LOW TAXES - UNLESS IT RAINS...
---------------------------
As part of an anti-pollution measure, many Belgians may soon
be paying a tax on rain.
More accurately, the proposed rule would access a fee based
on the amount of water running off of homeowners roofs into the
municipal sewers. The size of the house and amount of rainfall
would be used to calculate the bill.
Vera Dua, a Green Party minister from the Flanders region,
proposed the measure as a way to encourage people to disconnect
their downspouts from the city sewers, which are chronically
overloaded in Belgium's rainy climate. (Reuters)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
AND YOU THOUGHT YOU PAID TOO MUCH...
---------------------------------
Though you'll hear many folks complain about U.S.
taxes, the country with the heaviest taxation is
Norway. The highest rate of income tax there in the
1990's was 65 percent - although additional personal
taxes make it possible to be charged in excess of 100
percent. In January 1974, the 80 percent limit was
abolished there, and some two thousand citizens were
listed as paying MORE than 100 percent of their taxable
income. Shipping magnate Hilmar Reksteing, for
example, was assessed at 491 percent of his income.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
MAYOR SEES RED, IS COKE BLUE?
----------------------------
Hope that you don't get thirsty in the tiny village of
Sainte-Marie, in southwestern France. There is only one store,
but, because of a steep local tax, Coca-Cola in the village shop
costs three times what it does anywhere else in France. A can of
Coke there costs 30 Francs ($4.30).
"This is absolutely not about disguised protectionism
against American products but safety concerns among my
villagers," said mayor Bernard Herman.
Herman imposed the new soda tariff after punitive U.S. taxes
were placed on a selection of French luxury goods last year.
That was in retaliation for a French ban on U.S. beef products.
But the mayor insists that there is no connection, though the
100% farmland around the village has been hurt somewhat in losing
the U.S. market. The mayor says that his real concern is that
Coke lack "traceability" because the ingredients of the
manufacturer's secret formula are not listed on the container.
So the politicians of Sainte-Marie will do their part for
international finance by imposing the tax to dry up local sales
and hurt the Coca-Cola Company. (Reuters)
[ Since the village only has 255 residents,
it isn't likely that this has affected Coke's
stock market prices very much. ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
HUGHES HUGE MISTAKE
-------------------
The highest recorded personal tax levy in the United
States was $336 million, on 70 percent of the estate of
Howard Hughes. Hughes died without a clear and valid
will, perhaps the wealthiest person ever to die without
making one. That meant that estate taxes were charged
at the maximum rate.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
EXCUSES, EXCUSES...
----------------
They've heard it all before. Just about every excuse in the
book - and a few from outer space - has been affered by folks to
avoid paying their taxes. You have to admire the often bizarre
creativity of people who try to duck the tax folks. It is worth
noting that NOT ONE of these has worked. Not that it is likely
to stop folks from trying.
- I didn't file my 1987 tax return until 1992 on account of a
flood.
[ The Noah defense. ]
- When I was a student at Notre Dame I contracted encephalitis
and I now have a neurological disorder which causes me to
sleep 20 hours a day.
[ Except that this accountant continued to
file tax returns for his clients for the same
13 years he didn't file his own taxes. ]
- I was not required to file my tax return because I never
received a court order to do so.
[ Will the prison sentence do? ]
- Our church refuses to withhold employee employment taxes
because we believe that it is a sin to accept the authority
of secular worldly governments.
[ Did someone read them that part about "Give
to God what is God's and Caesar what is
Caesar's?" ]
- I was diagnosed as suffering from hypertension, diabetes and
obesity.
[ Known to the court as the "fat and stupid
defense." ]
- We didn't pay our part of our Massachusetts state income tax
on time because we intended to pay it the next year so we
could get a deduction on our Federal income tax return the
next year.
- One non-filer told the court that he didn't file tax forms
for 1993, 1994 or 1995 because his records were in disarray
after he was released from prison. He had been in prison
after being convicted for not filing in 1987, 1988 and 1989.
[ Look for this excuse again in 2002. ]
- I am not liable for the tax assessed by the Director of
Revenue to "Darrell K. Smythski" because my legal name is
"Darrell Keith Smythski".
[ Now better known as Inmate #27735. ]
- Filing tax returns is against my religious beliefs.
[ The court found that he was an Orthodox
Cheapskate. ]
- One tax cheat said, among other things, that letters
addressed to "Dear Taxpayer" were fraudulent, and that
"income" cannot be defined. In addition to losing, he
additionally received an extra $5,000 fine from the court
for making frivolous arguments.
- The tax law is unenforceable because the symbol ""$"" used
to specify the taxes is undefined and ambiguous.
[ Except that he didn't seem to have much
trouble figuring out that symbol on his
paycheck. ]
- This has been tried more times than you would believe: many
tax evaders have argued that a state court lacked
jurisdiction over him because the flag in the courtroom had
yellow fringe on it, thus converting it into the "maritime
flag of war."
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW...
-------------------------
In 1702, Russia enacted a tax on men who sported
beards.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
SOAK THE RICH?
-------------
Remember Leona Helmsley, the wealthy hotel owner who
declared in court that "only the little people pay taxes?" She
went off to jail with that crack. But recently, the tax court
heard a case involving another fabulously wealthy woman who also
did her best to duck the tax man.
Ella Freidus was a successful real estate investor and art
collector who had items displayed in museums around the world.
She lived with her husband in an 8,000-square-foot home in Cold
Spring Harbor, New York, which was valued at an estimated $3.9
million. Freidus employed a live-in married couple to care for
her home and an assistant to perform clerical services. In
addition to her art collection, she owned antique rugs, 16 horses
and a jewelry collection that included a 65-carat diamond.
Despite her opulent lifestyle, Freidus didn't bother to file
tax returns or pay taxes for at least four years. Her income,
the judges stated, was "difficult to establish due to her
surreptitious use of secret accounts and nominee corporations."
The IRS demanded back taxes, interest, penalties, and a
steep fine for fraud. In her defense, Freidus said she couldn't
file tax returns because her husband withheld documents. "And
for me, it was very difficult to start to go up the steps where
they were kept in the files," she testified.
The judge didn't buy it, inquiring why, perhaps, one of the
servants couldn't have retrieved the records. So, as you think
about spending that tax refund check, remember that Ella Freidus
helped pay for part of it in the $3.7 million tax bill see had to
pay with interest and penalties.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
© 2001 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
![[ BACK]](btn_rwdr.gif){kind=small}
![[NEXT]](btn_fwdr.gif){kind=small}