Greetings, Nonconformists....
There are times life seems all about rules. Rules for
driving, for working, for eating, even for taking care of basic
bodily needs.
Let's break the rules.
We nearly always have a topic of the week, which helps to
keep things on the rails here at SUNFUN.
Not this week.
We have always had about a page of introduction, too. But
how can I talk about a topic that isn't a topic?
Let's just go to the Thank You's. That is one rule we
probably shouldn't break...
So Thanks this week to our relatives, friends and
associates, including: Jerry Taff, Jan Michalski, Carol Becwar,
Kerry Miller, Chuck Maray, Tim McChain, Jack Gervais, Helen Yee,
Alison Becwar, Diana Lee, Fumiko Umino, Caterina Sukup, Bruce
Gonzo, Joshua Brink, Laura Hong Li, and Mike Tulley, who isn't
really interested in my liver (see last week). In fact, he's not
even interested in my onions.
Do Something Different This Week,
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NAME GAMES
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After decades of honoring Lenin, Russia is clearly awaking
to the fact that the revolution is over and it is time to move
on. While most cities in the former Soviet state still have a
Lenin Street or Lenin Park, Chelyabinsk, an old-style industrial
city in the Ural Mountains is now the first to have a Lennon
Street.
Yup, that's Lennon as in John, the late Beatle.
Though officially banned in the old Soviet Union, the
Beatles were hugely popular and influential, admits one-time
Soviet rock star Valery Yarushin. Yarushin is a life-long
Beatles fan who initiated the name change, admiring the group
from the days when Western rock records had to be smuggled into
the country. But things have changed these days.
"At the City Duma hearing there were only two opponents of
the idea," Yarushin said. (Reuters)
[ Next we have to urge them to name an
intersecting street for Marx - Groucho Marx.
Imagine how many tourists would pay to have
their photos taken at the intersection of
Marx and Lennon... ]
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NAME THAT PRUNE...
---------------
No, I'm wrong. I should be calling that purplely, giant-
raisin fruit a "dried plum."
At least, that's what the California Prune Board believes.
In fact, they are so hot on the idea that they are willing to
spend over $10 million to convince people that prunes are more
than a natural laxative for old folks - pretty much their current
reputation in the US. California grows more prunes than anyplace
else in the world.
Overseas the fruit gets more respect; in Finland and France,
prunes are common in pork and duck dishes, while the naked fruit
is popular in Italy and the Netherlands. In Japan, the prune is
valued for its high potassium content.
"People have told us that dried plums evoke a more positive
'fresh fruit goodness' image. They've said they're more likely
to eat dried plums than prunes," said Richard Peterson, executive
director of the California Prune Board.
Of course, the Prune Board has visions of increasing profits
as well as popularity. They would love to make the lowly prune
the next "Chinese gooseberry," which hardly sold at all until
some genius decided to rename it "Kiwi fruit."
Evidence that this is a kind of half-hearted attempt is a
little too obvious, though. For one thing, there is no proposal
to change the name of the California Prune Board to anything more
spiffy. (Reuters)
[ Today the pits! Tomorrow, the wrinkles!
Sunkist Marches On! ]
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MORE MILLENNIUM MADNESS...
-----------------------
Of all of the special projects constructed for the
millennium, one of the most criticized - and least successful -
has been the Millennium Dome in London. Even Prime Minister Tony
Blair, one of the big dome's biggest supporters now admits that
the whole scheme has turned out to be a money-guzzling white
elephant. After nearly $1.5 billion bucks have been plowed into
the failed millennium showcase, even the architect that designed
it has disowned it as a flop of epic proportions.
Now comes the story that even tourists wanting to see the
dome can't always find the huge, tent-like structure. Last week,
a bus delivered a group of Japanese tourists to what they
believed to be the M'Dome. While the strange and curious events
around the big dome have often been compared to a circus, these
tourists went inside to find actual lions and tigers and bears
inside - and clowns, too. No, not embarrassed politicians, real
clowns with big shoes and tiny cars.
The circus folks were just as surprised to see them. It was
only when one of the tourists pulled out a brochure on the dome
that the mistake was straightened out. The tourist bus had
delivered the group to a similar appearing circus tent about a
half mile (1 KM) from the actual Millennium Dome. Just by
coincidence, the tour group walked in on a preview performance of
the circus. (Reuters)
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GRIN AND BEAR IT?
----------------
Extreme drought conditions and environmental pressures have
recently caused a great many problems across the US, not the
least of which is wild animals commonly ending up in less-than-
wild settings. The animals are just looking for food, of course,
but that makes them pretty dangerous pests. Police in Adams,
Massachusetts had been cautioned about the dangers of disturbing
large wild animals and had been cautioned to just try to make the
animals leave on their own.
So the Adams cops responded quickly to a call that there was
a sleeping bear in Margaret Lowry's garden. Finding the four-
foot-long bear (1.3 Meter) deeply asleep, the coppers first tried
a blast of their cruiser's siren to rouse the comatose bear, with
no success.
Finding that yelling and other noises were no more
effective, the police called in their animal control officer.
The specialist tried to wake the bear with a loud, firecracker-
like explosive device. Still without any effect.
Eventually, the officers decided to give the animal a poke
with a long pole, to try to wake it - which is when they
discovered it was a large, stuffed teddy bear that someone had
abandoned in the garden, possibly as a joke. (AP)
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UNDRESS CODE...
------------
About 20 girls at Salinas (California) High School staged a
protest at school after they heard the school's dress code banned
skimpy - and fashionable - thong underwear.
"We wear thongs!" the demonstrators chanted carrying signs
while carrying on about the school's restrictive policies.
Only one problem; the school has no such rule.
Believing that the best - and safest - policy Re: underwear
is don't ask, don't tell, principal Joseph Pawlick issued a
written statement that the school's dress code does not ban thong
underwear, and never has. (AP)
[ Do you get the feeling that, somehow,
somewhere, there has to be a very self-
satisfied teenage male that started this
ridiculous rumor? ]
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AND MORE GESTURES
-----------------
Clearly, some drivers' hand signals are not meant to inform
you about the direction they intend to drive. Now Germany is
making efforts to curb one special class of rude signs.
A court in Bavaria recently ruled that a motorist could
indeed be fined for making obscene gestures -- to a traffic
camera.
These spy cams are often installed by German police to
oversee traffic in crowded areas. The motorist had argued that
he didn't know the camera was on. After viewing a videotape, the
judge determined that the hand signals had indeed been directed
at officers, which is enough to get you a ticket in Germany.
(Reuters)
[ Gee... A few traffic cameras and New York
City would not only be able to solve their
budget problems, they'd be able to buy Nova
Scotia. ]
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OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS
-------------------
OK, it's official. A court in Germany has finally decided
that the maximum amount of paid holiday time for unemployed
workers on welfare will be just three weeks a year.
The labor court case came up because a worker in Kassel,
Germany believed that getting less than the usual four weeks of
paid vacation time was unfair.
Politicians and economic analysts regularly complain about
the generosity of Germany's social welfare system. The
comfortable level of unemployment assistance means many people
often turn down job offers because support can be nearly as high
as take-home pay in some sectors. (Reuters)
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HEARING-IMPAIRED LEPPARD?
------------------------
A local ordinance on noise pollution turned heavy-metal band
Def Leppard into 'Hard-to-hear Leppard' in an appearance at the
Oregon State Fair. The insufficiently loud concert was a
disappointment to band members and audience members alike, who
complained that the quieter music wasn't the experience they had
expected.
"You could barely hear the lead guitar player playing," said
local fan Scott Davis.
The band agreed to refund the $20 ticket price to audience
members unhappy with the concert, claiming that the noise
ordinance took them by surprise. Ultimately, the concert ended
up losing over $14,000. (Reuters)
[ After a few years of that music, how do the
fans know if the band is playing at all? ]
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BUDGET CRUNCH, BUT WITH STYLE...
-----------------------------
Malawi is one of the poorest nations on the planet, with the
majority of its population far below the $1 per day poverty
threshold set by the World Bank. Worse, the country's ten
million desperate people have recently seen the local economy
slide with the sharp in the market for its one exportable
commodity - tobacco.
Clearly, the situation was getting desperate and the
government had to do something. After some serious planning and
hard thinking, they came up with a plan: the government in the
capital city of Lilongwe has decided to replace the entire
limousine fleet, shelling out $2.5 million for 39 new Mercedes-
Benz cars imported from Germany.
The bold move surprised both the World Bank and local
opposition parties. In fact it nearly floored them. They had
been expecting something more along the lines of a import or
education plan. Fancy cars seem a pretty stupid way to improve
the lives of ordinary Malawians. But what do the bankers know,
anyway?
Defending the government's move, Michael Nkhoma, a deputy
secretary in the president's office, pointed out that the current
fleet of cars had to be replaced because they were too old.
After all, they are 1995 to '97 models.
[ I think we are beginning to get a handle on
the problem here... ]
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YOU HAVE TO HAND IT TO THESE RESEARCHERS...
----------------------------------------
The world is full of odd and obscure diseases. As discussed
in "The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat," Oliver Sach's
wonderful book on the interrelation of physical and psychological
problems, there are literally billions of ways our bodies can go
wrong. The amazing thing is that they don't most of the time.
But when things happen, they can seem pretty odd.
One of the more peculiar is the newly uncovered "Dr
Strangelove Syndrome," a rare, poorly understood and often
misdiagnosed brain injury. This causes sufferers to lose control
of a hand or leg so the errant appendage behaves as if it has a
mind of its own.
The syndrome is named after Peter Sellars' character in the
1964 black comedy of the same name. In the film, he played a
wheel-chair bound, ex-Nazi scientist whose right arm kept making
involuntarily Nazi salutes. People with the syndrome often make
similar odd gestures that they do not intend.
"This is a bizarre symptom," Professor Sergio Della Sala, of
the University of Aberdeen in Scotland, told the British
Association for the Advancement of Science at a recent meeting.
"There are patients with lesions in the frontal lobes of the
brain who have one hand that behaves in capricious ways. So one
hand performs actions that the patient does not want to perform."
Because of this, the doctor reports, the patients sometimes
end up fighting one hand with the other, in a strangely comic
battle. Only 40 cases of the syndrome have been recorded in
medical literature, with the first reported in Germany in 1909,
but Della Sala believes it has occurred more frequently and
sufferers were misdiagnosed and treated for psychiatric problems.
One case of anarchic foot has also been documented. (Reuters)
[ Otherwise known as "Happy Feet Syndrome." ]
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A MILWAUKEE TALE OF BALLISTIC BRATWURST...
---------------------------------------
Jason Freitag of Brookfield, Wisconsin will always remember
the last game played by the Brewers at Milwaukee's old County
Stadium. Not just because it marked the end of the line for the
old ballpark, soon to be replaced by a new stadium. No, it is
the memory of nearly being done in by Milwaukee's favorite
sausage that will make him remember the moment.
Freitag, his wife, Ellen, and eight friends were happily
enjoying the game from the second to last row in Section 9 on the
first-base side. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a ten pound box of
Klements frozen bratwurst dropped on Frietag's head, laying him
out cold.
Like most of us from Milwaukee, Frietag probably suspected
that if he was going to be taken out by sausage, it would be one
glob of cholesterol at a time over his lifetime. Ten pounds at a
smack was a bit much. Freitag left the game on a stretcher and
missed the last four innings played in the old ballpark. He was
taken by ambulance to Froedtert Memorial Lutheran Hospital where
doctors examined him and pronounced him relatively undamaged by
the meaty missile. Freitag had praise for all the emergency
workers - even the ones who couldn't keep a straight face.
Stadium officials believe a food service worker dropped the
box of 50 brats from an upper deck ramp nearly twenty feet (6
meters) overhead. Food service company manager Tom Olson and
Milwaukee Brewers vice president Scott Jenkins called Freitag to
apologize and to offer free tickets for the first game at the new
Miller Park stadium next Spring. Seats with no ramps anywhere
nearby.
When a local newspaper columnist reminded Olson that
baseball tradition says that a fan who catches a ball gets to
keep it, Olson replied, "I'm sure we can find some brats and
sauce for him." (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)
[ I'll bet he wears a hard hat to the game. ]
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© 2000 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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