Greetings, Fellow Consumers:
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Lots of folks, or so it
seems... For those of you outside of the US, or for those of you
who don't stay in much, a limited-run game show of that name has
averaged almost 24 million viewers every night on the ABC-TV
network. Even with the cost of the big prizes, the program has
been a huge money-maker with 30-second spots going for as much as
$350,000. Clearly, greed hasn't gone out of style just yet.
Everyone needs a certain amount of money to get by. Just
how much is determined by lots of things, but it is clear that
finances are a relative matter. What's incredibly expensive to
some of us is cheap to someone else. That's the story behind
this week's title, which comes from the comment of millionaire
Cornelius Vanderbilt to a reporter who asked how much his yacht
cost.
"If you have to ask the price," Vanderbilt said, "You can't
afford it."
He was right, of course. Most of us buy the things we buy
because we want them and can afford them. Money may not buy
happiness, but it isn't too bad as a down payment.
Thanks this week to our valuable portfolio of loyal
contributors, especially: Etsuko Hori; Nnamdi Elleh; Stanley &
Rosana Leung; Yukari Kawabata; Jerry Taff; Laura Hong Li; Diana
Lee; Junji Taniguchi; Patricia Vanderveen; Jan Michalski; Joshua
Brink; Peter J. Adler; Larry Sakar; Jack Gervais; Bruce Gonzo;
Naomi Ogawa; Fumiko Umino; Jim & Beth Butler; Nancy Wohlge; Anna
Macareno; Kerry Miller; Carol J. Becwar; Meredith & Yasmin
Leischer and Ann Glomski. Is this our "Final answer?" I hope
not! Not as long as we can keep laughing about it all.
Have An Inexpensive Week,
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
BUSTING THE BANK...
----------------
I have no idea how to explain this odd trend, so I'll just
tell it straight and let you decide. At least two different
lingerie companies have come up with the very same promotion for
very expensive Christmas presents: multi-million dollar jewel-
encrusted bras.
For the past three years, Victoria's Secret has produced
ever more expensive custom bras, from the $1 million 1997 version
up to this year's top top: a $10 million jewel-encrusted model
with a flashy "2000" on one strap. They call it the "...
ultimate gift to celebrate the beginning of the century." It is
basically a satin bra studded with over 2,000 diamonds and
sapphires of various sizes in platinum star settings. Flashy?
Yes, but also a little on the lumpy side for an undergarment.
They suggest you should let it show - even though the armed guard
is not included in the quoted price.
Meanwhile, the Triumph company of Japan announced their own
"Millennium Bra" with 24-carat gold thread handwoven into
"15th-century style 'bobbin lace' and encrusted with a 15-carat
diamond in the center." According to the company, it took three
years to make. The price? A bargain at 200 million Yen ($1.9
million USD). And it's not only the price that's heavy - all of
the gold and jewels make that millennium bra quite a load at 421
grams (just under one pound). That's about 8 times heavier than
the un-jewelled model. (Reuters/Victoria's Secret)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
A PLANE, BUT EXPENSIVE GIFT
---------------------------
Not in the market for any bank vault underwear? How about
every business traveler's dream: a way to avoid the long lines at
the airport. For this frequent flyer's dream, Dallas' Neiman
Marcus Catalog suggests the "Boeing Business Jet," which is
basically a customized version of the 737-700 with strengthened
wings and landing gear. The unfinished jet, which can be
configured to seat from 15 to 50, is listed for $35,250,000.
Depending on the arrangements, interior finishing will add $8
million to $10 million.
Need something a little easier to gift wrap? How about
Reverend Clement C. Moore's beloved poem "The Night Before
Christmas?" For only $795,000, Neiman Marcus will sell you one
of the four known copies of the original 1822 manuscript
autographed by the author.
And at these prices, you don't even have to wait in line.
The department store promises that a personal shopper will
contact you for assistance. (Reuters)
[ And, if you're Bill Gates, you can have the
poem delivered ON the 737 to save shipping. ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
PUTTING ON THE DOG?
------------------
Last year, Burberrys introduced six new styles of trench
coats at prices ranging from $65 to $575. Quite a bargain,
right? But hold on - they won't fit you unless you walk on all
fours and have a serious appetite for Alpo. These are trench
coats for dogs.
Pricey dog accessories seem to be another growth area for
conspicuous consumption over the last year or two, with Gucci
introducing the Gucci Dog Bowl at $750 in either black or clear.
Gucci had earlier introduced its nipple ring attached to a large
"G," at $790 for crystal and $6,300 for diamond. For dogs, too,
but these days, you never know. (New York Times)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
SHOCKED BY THE ELCTRIC COMPANY
------------------------------
OK, we've dealt with the gifts, now what about the bills?
One that might give you pause is the utility bill that homeowner
Burton Willis received last July. June had been a warm month and
he had run the air conditioning more than usual at home. And he
was right, the bill was a little higher than normal.
The bill said he owed Great Lakes Energy $904,771.14.
Even though the bill was obviously incorrect, it took
several calls to get it straightened out.
"The lady went to the computer and said it wasn't funny. I
thought it was funny," Willis said. "It's pathetic but it's
funny if you like that sort of humor." (AP)
[ Oh, we do! ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
JACKPOT!
-------
Keith Obraske went to the ATM at his local bank in Fridley,
Minnesota just to get a few dollars for soda and cigarettes.
Then random chance got in the way. The 23-year-old construction
worker put in his card and punched in the numbers to get his $20,
and out it came. And came. And came. The machine kept spitting
out cash until it ran out of bills at $5,580. Fortunately for
the bank, Obraske is an honest man; he returned the money.
"I felt like I was being tested big time," he said. "I felt
like I'd won the lottery."
Express Teller, a division of TCF Financial Corp., is
working on plans to give Obraske a substantial reward. (AP)
[ Why not just offer him double or nothing? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY...
------------------------
We judge how much something costs at least partly on what we
expect from the product. So it comes as a shock to see some
common products when priced in even terms. (for you metricized
folks, there are 128 ounces in one gallon, and a gallon is a
little over 4 liters):
What if you were to buy a gallon of:
Lipton Ice Tea (16oz, $1.19) = $ 9.52 / gallon
Pepto Bismol (4oz, $3.85) = $123.20 / gallon
Jean Patou
Joy Perfume (1oz, $380.00) = $48,640 / gallon
Coca-Cola (20oz, $1.19) = $ 7.62 / gallon
Evian (water) (9oz, $1.49) = $ 21.19 / gallon
STP Brake Fluid (12oz, $3.15) = $ 33.60 / gallon
Scope
Mouthwash (1.5oz, $0.99) = $ 84.84 / gallon
Ocean Spray
Cranberry Juice (16oz, $1.25) = $ 10.00 / gallon
Club Monaco
Liquid Makeup (1oz, $19.00) = $ 2,432 / gallon
Vicks Nyquil (6oz, $8.35) = $178.13 / gallon
Whiteout
Correction Fluid (7oz, $1.39) = $254.17 / gallon
Deluxe Beauty
Opaque Nail
Polish (0.5oz, $11.00) = $ 2,816 / gallon
By the way, ever wonder about those people who spend a buck
and a half on those little bottles of Evian water? Just try
spelling 'Evian' backwards.
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
HITTING THE PANIC BUTTON!
------------------------
Want to cause a panic on the trading floor of a stock
exchange? All you need to do is dump a few billion dollars worth
of stocks all at once to cause a market drop.
That's exactly what happened at the London exchange late
last year, when an unnamed stock trading firm suddenly sent a
computer message announcing the sale of 130,000 German bond
futures worth a total of 11.5 billion pounds sterling. The sale
meant that the trader's firm - believed to be a German financial
institution - was suddenly dumping their shares at a loss. The
rest of the market followed.
Then they found out that a junior trader taking part in a
training exercise had pushed the wrong key on his computer,
accidentally initiating a real transaction. Pushing that key
cost approximately 10 million sterling (about $17 million USD).
(Reuters)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
COKE AND COMMODITIES...
--------------------
Speaking of trading... The whole system is based on a basic
principle of economics - prices rise when demand goes up.
That's also the principle behind a new design of vending
machine being tested by the Coca-Cola company in Japan. No, it
doesn't base it's price on the exchange market. Instead, it
watches the temperature and raises prices on hot days when demand
is high for a cold drink.
In an interview with a Brazilian magazine, Coke chairman
Doug Ivester said that the machine was designed to adjust supply
and demand by raising the price when demand increased. (Reuters)
[ Of course, nothing was said at the
announcement about the machine lowering
prices on cool days. ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
WHEN THE HEAT IS ON
-------------------
One group of folks that might be in the market for a cold
drink are the 1,725 rich folks who bought recent model Rolls
Royce or Bentley cars. You would expect that at over $235,000
each, the hand-assembled cars' quality and workmanship would be
as nearly perfect as humanly possible.
Well, not always.
All of those wealthy folks will be paying a visit to their
local dealers as the result of Rolls' recall to fix a defective
heat sensor inside the beautiful leather-line seats. The sensor
apparently fails to turn off the heat when it should making the
cars uncomfortably hot, even with the air conditioning on.
"Even though no one's been hurt, we have issued a recall to
dealers to check all Rolls-Royce Silver Seraph and Bentley Arnage
motor cars," said company spokesman Richard Charlesworth.
(Reuters)
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
THE PRICE IS RIGHT
------------------
A very well-dressed woman walked into a bank in New York
City and asked to talk to the loan officer.
"I'm going to Europe for two weeks on business and need to
borrow $5,000," she said.
"Of course. But we will need something for collateral,"
said the loan officer.
In response, she produced the keys and registration to a
brand new, $200,000 Rolls Royce parked outside the bank.
Everything checked out, and the bank was happy to accept the car,
assigning an employee to park it carefully in the bank's
underground garage.
Two weeks later, the lady returned, and repaid the $5,000
loan in cash, along with the $15.41 in interest.
Now really curious, the loan officer asked, "Miss, I don't
wish to appear ungrateful for the business, but you obviously had
little need to borrow this $5,000. Why would you take out such a
small loan, only to repay it a short time later?"
"Oh. it's quite simple," she said with a smile. "Where else
could I safely park an expensive automobile for two weeks in New
York City for only $15?"
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
© 1999 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
![[ BACK]](btn_rwdr.gif){kind=small}
![[NEXT]](btn_fwdr.gif){kind=small}