FISH, FINALLY FISH!

Something Fishy About Fishing

Greetings, Anglers!
     The first thing to understand about fishing is that it isn't
really about catching fish.  That may seem like a contradiction,
but you have to take into account the religious fervor that many
folks have about catching our finny friends.  It's not like this
is anything new - Izaak Walton published the first popular book
on sport fishing called "The Compleat Angler," which appeared in
1652 and has been in print ever since.  It remains one of the few
best-sellers of the 17th century to be available as an audio-
book.  Modern fishing practices like "catch and release" make it
even more obvious that most people don't fish to eat.  Fishing
takes on elements of religion for many people and they refer to
it more like a zen meditation exercise.  Besides -- it's also one
of the few socially acceptable excuses for sitting around
drinking beer with the guys.
     People spend thousands of dollars on boats and equipment,
then travel incredible distances, just to drown worms or throw
lures into the water.  But maybe the most important thing is to
be smarter than the fish.  Human pride would make us feel that
this is automatic, but it isn't necessarily so!  Just look at the
number of people who try to use their cars as submarines every
year driving out on "frozen" lakes for ice fishing.
     For some reason, fishing and fishing remain extremely
popular as metaphors, with folks using "fish story" as a polite
way to say lie.  Stories as diverse as "Moby Dick," "Pinocchio"
and "Jaws" use giant sea creatures to represent the unknowing
evil.  It's also worth noting that most of Jesus pals in the
bible were fishermen.
     Folks from the net that we need to thank this week include: 
Sylvia Libin He, Bernie Becwar, Laura Hong Li, Etsuko Hori, Ed
Adler, Jerry Taff, Paul Roser, Yasmin & Meredith Leischer, Steve
Smith, Akiko Inagaki, The Peterson Family, Carol J. Becwar, Mark
Becwar, Peter J. Adler, Brian Siegl, Fumiko Umino, Beth Butler,
Nnamdi Elleh, Timothy T. McChain, Helen Yee and Sue Yan.  Time to
reel in those big ones as we tackle a few fish stories of our
own.
     Have A Great Catch,


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     Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

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LOVES AND FISHES
----------------
     Nicholas Vitalich, 24, was arrested by police shortly after
having a argument with his girlfriend in the parking lot of a San
Diego supermarket.  That isn't illegal.  It was hitting her
repeatedly with a large fish that got the police after him.  The
cops caught up with Vitalich a short distance from the parking
lot.
     Police have filed charges of assault with a deadly weapon
and resisting arrest against Vitalich.  The weapon in question
was a large, fresh tuna.  (Reuters)
          [ "Sorry, Charlie...  Starkist wants tuna -
          You go to jail!" ]

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     There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the
     shore looking like an idiot. 
                            - Steven Wright

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FISHING TIPS FROM HAIR AND THERE...
--------------------------------
     Times have been tough in the Russian Far East, the economy
has been bad and people don't have much money to spend on
luxuries.  Which makes it all the more surprising that the
fishing community of Magadan have been importing Chinese-made
Barbie dolls by the boat load.
     We have to admit that these are the cheaper Barbie knock-
offs, not the more expensive U.S.-made doll.  The reason for the
dolls' sudden popularity is even stranger: they are used in
fishing.
     Commercial fishermen in Magadan discovered that the local
fish go just nuts for the golden blond hair from the fashion
dolls, increasing their catches dramatically.  (Interfax)
          [ Hey kids!  It's 'Fishbait' Barbie! ]


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THE FISH FIGHT BACK...
-------------------
     In Hemingway's sea stories and other hairy-chested epics,
fishing - especially deep sea fishing - is portrayed as bold and
glamorous, with brave fishermen landing dangerous, giant fish
just for the sport of it.  In reality, the fish usually haven't
got a chance, since the fisherman are in huge, sonar-equipped 
fishing yachts with thousand horse-power engines with fishing
tackle that could reel in a sunken tugboat.  But not always.
     Last February, two Florida boaters had a close encounter
with sea life when their 16-foot (5.3 meter) boat suddenly
started moving around in circles with the engine shut off. 
Something had grabbed the boat's anchor line, and was pulling
them out to sea.  Even the their 90-horsepower engine couldn't
stop them from being dragged.
     A distress call to the Coast Guard brought a 41-foot rescue
vessel to the scene, which was still dragged some distance as it
tried to pull in the anchor line.  As the Coast Guard pulled up
the anchor, a manta ray 18 feet (6 meters) wide came into view. 
The ray was eventually able to free itself from the line and
headed for deep water.
     Coast Guard officials say that it was lucky for the boaters
that the 300-pound (150kg) bat-shaped fish didn't decide to dive
earlier, as it could easily have taken the boat with it.
     "If there were just a ledge and he decided to head down,
that boat could have been gone," Coast Guard Spokesman Scott
Barnes said.  "Overall, the manta ray pulled the 16-foot vessel
for almost two hours and towed it approximately 1-1/2 miles (3
km) offshore."  (Reuters)
          [ But the coast guard doesn't believe the
          rumor that the ray was just trolling for sea
          gulls. ]

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     "It's quite a scary film. I got nightmares after it,
     about a whale.  By the time I had them as a teenager
     and a young adult I had forgotten why I had them."
                            - recording artist PHIL COLLINS,
                              recalling his reaction to seeing
                              "Pinocchio" as a child.

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SOMETHING FISHY IN THE ENGINE ROOM
----------------------------------
     The crew of the fishing trawler "Our Lady of Pompei" thought
they were having a bad day last year when a prized 200-pound (90
kg) swordfish slipped from their nets and escaped.  Then things
got worse.
     Instead of escaping, the swordfish turned back and attacked
the 90-foot (30 meter) boat, which was fishing in the
Mediteranean about 95 miles (160 km) off Malta.  The fishermen
found to their surprise that the swordfish had turned into a
finny torpedo, as the fish punched a large hole in the trawler's
engine room.
     With the pumps running full blast and the help of another
fishing boat, the crew was just able to make it back to Malta in
nearly a sinking condition.  (REUTERS)


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          For the Really Bored:
          The Amazing Fish Cam Virtual Aquarium

http://www.wincam.com/live/live.cgi?01

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FISH & FOLLY
------------
     A 28-year-old man in Fox Lake, Illinois was apparently
planning to fish illegally -- at least that's what police
theorize.  They believe that the man lit an explosive device and
intended to throw into the water to stun fish, making them easy
to catch.  The would-be fisherman apparently dropped the
explosive charge and blew a hole in the bottom of his boat
instead.  One reason police don't know exactly what happened is
that the man couldn't swim.


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     "My wife said if I go fishing one more time, she's
     going to leave me.  Gee, I'm sure going to miss her."

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THINGS NEVER HEARD ON A FISHING TRIP:
------------------------------------

   - "Fishing season is too long; I should spend more time with
     my wife."

   - "Duct tape won't fix that."

   - "Let's go shopping, fishing can wait."

   - "I didn't buy that $100 rod.  Everyone knows the $10 pole
     catches just as many fish."

   - "Why don't we take a nice white zinfandel wine in the cooler
     rather than regular old beer?"

   - "Hey guys, there's a gas station.  Let's pull over and ask
     for directions to the lodge."

   - "No, my fish wasn't that big."

   - "I don't need to buy those flies. Maybe I'll send my wife
     flowers instead."

   - "Why don't we take our wives up fishing with us?"

   - "I really didn't need an outboard motor this big." 

   - "I sorta feel guilty about calling in sick." 

   - "We'd better go.  I want to get home while it's still light
     enough to cut the grass." 

   - "Can we go into shore now? I'm bored."

   - "We gotta throw this fish back; I don't think it will fit in
     the frying pan."

   - "It's kinda lonely out here.  I hope some more boats show up
     soon."


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     Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
     Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and 
     drink beer all day.

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A LESSON ON FISH AND FORTUNE
----------------------------
     To most of us, one fish looks pretty much like another,
except for the different sizes and colors.  But in many cultures,
there are elaborate legends attached to particular species of
fish.  In parts of Southeast Asia, the Asian arowana, or dragon
fish, is highly prized.  People believe that the fish bring their
owners good luck.
     Not so lucky was a 36-year-old aquarium dealer from New York
named Zhi Lin Chen, who has been charged with importing 50 of
the endangered fish illegally. Federal authorities claim that
Chen used false documents that claimed that the shipment from
Malaysia contained only goldfish and other unprotected fish. 
Authorities netted Zhi after he tried to sell two of the fish to
undercover agents for $2,500.
     If convicted, Zhi could face up to five years in prison and
a $250,000 fine.  The felony fish, meantime, get a free plane
ride back home.  See, the fish really were lucky.  (Reuters)


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WARDEN OFF TROUBLE
------------------
     A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond
back in the woods.  Suddenly, the game warden jumped the out of
the bushes.
     One of the boys immediately threw his rod down and ran into
the woods, followed by the pursuing warden.
     After about a half mile, the young man stopped to catch his
breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him.
     "Let's see your fishin' license, boy!!" the Warden gasped.
     With that, the young man pulled out his wallet and gave the
Game Warden a valid fishing license.
     "Son," said the game warden, "you must be about as dumb as a
box of rocks!  You don't have to run from me if you have a valid
license!"
     "Yes, sir," replied the young feller, "But my friend back
there, well, he don't have one ..."


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