Good Morning, Travelers!
The economy is doing well, the weather is looking nice and
everyone seems to have plans to travel this weekend. Which
probably means that the roads will be so busy that it will be
hard to get anywhere. And in this part of the world, this is
also the height of construction season, so the roads are full of
flashing yellow lights and orange construction barrels.
Almost everyone likes to get away for a day or two, just for
a change from the normal routine of life. That said, it quickly
becomes clear that some folks don't respond well to the change...
Take them out of their comfortable, everyday life and they do
really silly things. There was an industrial design magazine
that considered a project to design a bear-proof garbage can for
the U.S. Forest Service to use in national parks. They dropped
the idea when the Forest Service pointed out that any really
clever design was bound to be a failure. If it was difficult for
the bears to open there would be many tourists who also wouldn't
be able to open it. It turns out that the smartest bears were a
few I.Q. points higher than the dumbest tourists.
A few of our fellow travelers seated at the captain's table
today are: Jerry Taff, Sachiko Sumida, Laura Hong Li, Sylvia«
Libin He, Shawn Mullen, Kerry Miller, Fumiko Umino, Ann Glomski,«
Brian Segel, The Petersons, Naomi Ogawa M.A., Gerry & Nancy«
Wohlge, Carol Becwar, Yasmin and Meredith Leischer, Beth Butler. «
Thanks to all of you for your ideas, contributions and support.
Now get in line for the security check as SUNFUN is ready for
boarding.
Have A Great Trip,
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ACCIDENTAL TOURIST
------------------
Ever sit at the airport and watch the crews loading and
unloading baggage? The process looks complex but orderly with
workers servicing the plane, moving equipment and checking cargo.
Apparently it is slightly more complex than we thought - at least
some of the time.
The ground crew in Budapest had just finished loading a
flight for the Hungarian airline Malev. As they watched the
plane depart, it slowly occurred to them that one crew member was
missing.
The plane crew located the missing man in the plane's cargo
compartment 80 minutes later after the flight landed in Zurich,
Switzerland. He was unhurt, though a little cold from his flight
as checked luggage. Hungarian police and officials from the
airline are still investigating how he got locked in the baggage
compartment. (Reuters)
[ OK... But does he get frequent flier
miles? ]
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GOING TO POT...
------------
The United Nations organization UNESCO recently sponsored a
sports event in Prague called the "Fair Play Awards." Athletes
from many countries and many sports took part, leaving organizers
to deal with special needs such as longer beds for the basketball
players or special diets for the runners.
One of the stranger special requests was a last minute
change moving famous sumo wrestler Yasokichi Konichiki to a new
hotel. Organizers of the event became concerned when they
realized that the toilets in the original hotel were wall-mounted
models that might not support Konichiki's 583 pound (265 kg)
bulk. They quickly changed his hotel reservation to Prague's
"Forum" hotel, which features better designed plumbing.
A more dependable potty is a particular problem in dealing
with Konichiki, since he reportedly drinks as many as 50 cans of
beer a day. (AFP)
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SPACED OUT...
----------
The maverick owner of Virgin Atlantic Airways, Richard
Branson, certainly believes in planning for the future. Not
waiting for the rush, he recently announced plans that feature
his newest company "Virgin Galactic Airways," which was set up
specifically to ferry tourists to a hotel complex that he intends
to build "somewhere in space."
"We're looking at various things that could enable people to
go to space for a reasonable price," Branson said in a recent
Internet chat. "I hope in five years a reusable rocket will have
been developed, which can take up to 10 people at a time to stay
at the Virgin Hotel for two weeks. I'd love to do it and I hope
the dream will become a reality."
The London Times said last month that Branson was
negotiating with a California rocket company to make space
flights available for a fare of around $100,000.
Branson is otherwise known for his ballooning and boating
adventures and for dressing as a rabbit last Chinese New Year to
promote his airline's new route to Shanghai. He had previously
appeared in costume on several flights dressed either as a bride
or as a female flight attendant. (Reuters)
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LONG RANGE PLANS
----------------
Speaking of space travel, Italian police recently announced
that they had uncovered a group of con men operating in the
travel industry. Police discovered from complaints that over 600
people had paid as much as $10,000 per person to be on a tourist
flight to Mars.
According to the brochures, travelers were invited to a
"vacation on Mars, amid the splendors of ruined temples and
painted deserts. Ride a Martian camel from oasis to oasis and
enjoy the incredible Martian sunsets. Explore mysterious canals
and marvel at the views. Trips to the moon also available."
No suspects are in custody and police believe that the con
men running the scheme and the victims' six million dollars have
disappeared.
[ Could it be Richard Branson again? ]
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OUT OF CONTROLLER
-----------------
Two airliners ended up circling an airport in the South of
England when they couldn't get any response from the air traffic
controller on duty. Turns out the controller appreciated the
gravity of the situation, having had a bad landing himself. As
he went to make himself a cup of coffee, he fell down a flight of
stairs, breaking several bones in his ankle.
There was no danger to the airliners, though there was some
confusion until air controller Greg Fanos managed to drag himself
back to the control tower and notify both the airliners and the
fire brigade. (Reuters)
[ Is this trip really necessary? ]
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DANGEROUS EXERCISE
-------------------
The pilot of an airliner in Australia decided to make an
emergency landing when his airplane suddenly developed a strange
vibration while in flight. Then, just as the captain switched on
the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign, the vibration stopped as
mysteriously as it started.
Investigation uncovered that one of the passengers had been
jogging in place inside the small airliner's bathroom.
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LANDING STRIP
-------------
Andrea O'Neill, a stewardess for British Airways, lost a bet
with her fellow crew members that their plane would be arriving
late on a flight from London to Genoa. When the plane arrived in
Italy early, she lost the bet and ended up doing her own take-
off, removing her uniform and exiting the plane dressed only in a
pilot's hat, a safety vest and her underwear.
"She then allegedly ran round the plane before skipping
back up the stairway," the London Daily Telegraph reported.
The newspaper quoted a spokesman for the airport as saying:
"I did not see it. But there were a lot of baggage handlers and
customs people here who did, and they are still talking about
it... I wish I had seen it."
After investigation, the airline decided not to discipline
the stripping stewardess because they were generally happy about
media reaction to the story.
"I guess we ought to take our hats off to her -- but nothing
else -- for such wonderful exposure of our brilliant time-
keeping," a British Airways spokesman told the London Times.
(Reuters)
[ But there's no truth to the rumor that the
airline is trying to set up "Full Monty"
service on every flight... ]
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ON THE BEAM
-----------
When airport officials in Green Bay, Wisconsin received a
signal from an automatic distress beacon early one morning, they
swung into action. Using high-tech locating equipment, they
determined that the emergency signal was coming from about one
hundred and twenty miles (140 km) to the southwest, near Waukesha
County Airport.
The Waukesha Sheriff's Department immediately took up the
search, and they quickly discovered that the distress signal was
coming from a house on Springhill Drive in Pewaukee. More
specifically, it was coming from a boat in the basement.
The Pelowski family, who live at the home, told police that
they have no idea how the emergency beacon suddenly became
activated. Authorities quickly determined that the boat in the
lower level garage was in no immediate danger of sinking.
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ON TOUR
-------
- A visitor to Glacier National Park in Montana lost his car
keys while attempting to lure a ground squirrel by dangling
the keys out in front of the critter. The squirrel grabbed
the keys and ran down a hole with them. The keys were never
found, a ranger cited the man for harassment of wildlife,
and opening the car required a locksmith.
- A visitor setting up camp at Lake Eleanor in Yosemite
National Park hit herself on the head with a rock while
trying to string up her food to protect it from bears.
- In 1994, a woman visiting from the Bay Area embarked on a
solo hike to the summit of El Capitan in Yosemite. When she
became lost and saw a storm brewing, she called 911 from her
cellular phone and asked to be rescued. A helicopter found
her barely off the trail and one-fourth to half a mile from
the top of El Cap. When the chopper lifted off and the
woman saw how close she was to the top, she demanded that
the crew set her down on top. When the crew refused, she
threatened to sue them for kidnaping.
- Darryl Stone, now superintendent at Jefferson National
Expansion Memorial in St. Louis, remembered working the
entrance station at Yosemite when a woman drove up and
asked, "Which way are the geysers?"
Ranger Stone directed her to continue 1,000 miles
further to Yellowstone and told her there were no geysers at
Yosemite. "Yes, there are," she said. "I have a friend who
saw them." Stone and the woman went round and round several
times before she left, insisting that there were geysers at
Yosemite. Later she wrote a letter to the chief ranger
complaining that Stone had refused to provide her with the
information she wanted.
- According to a recent survey of travel agents, the most
frequent questions asked about life on a cruise ship are:
"Does the crew go home at night?"
"Can I fish off of the boat?"
"If I don't like it, can I get off?"
"If I get seasick, will I get a refund?"
- When an elderly couple stopped to film some bears at
Dunraven Pass in Yellowstone, a young bear crawled into
their car searching for food.
Unable to get the bear out of the car, the exasperated
couple drove about 17 miles to the ranger station at Canyon
Village with the bear in the back seat. When the husband
got out to report the incident, the bear hopped over into
the front seat so that investigating rangers found the woman
in the passenger seat and the bear behind the wheel.
- In 1993, a woman called 911 from the top of Half Dome using
her cellular phone. According to dispatch, she reported:
"Well, I'm at the top and I'm really tired." The answering
ranger asked if she felt sick. "No," she said, "I'm just
really tired and I want my friends to drive to the base and
pick me up." The dispatcher explained that she would have
to hike down the trail she had ascended. The visitor
replied, "But you don't understand, I'm really tired." What
happened next? "It turned out we got really lucky," the
ranger said, "Her phone battery died."
- A group of European visitors came into the Wawona ranger
station in Yosemite National Park and said, "Our car is
parked at the trail head and it's been blown up by
terrorists." Though rangers expressed some doubt, the
visitors insisted that a bomb had exploded in their car and
that they could see powder residue from the explosives.
Investigating rangers indeed found that a door had been torn
off and a powder-like substance - pancake flour - was strewn
about the car. "They were quite embarrassed when we showed
them the bear prints," the ranger said.
- A camper at Long Pine Key in Everglades National Park
decided to take a dip in the lake with her dog despite signs
saying "No swimming--Danger: Alligators. "She swam to an
island about 75 yards from the shore, then saw some
alligators and refused to swim back. "Didn't you see the
signs?" asked the ranger who retrieved her in a canoe.
"Sure," she said, "but I didn't think they applied to me."
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© 1999 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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