Greetings, Music Lovers!
There was a time when nearly everyone listened to the same
popular music. Not anymore... The modern music scene is
incredibly diverse, ranging from Beethoven to Boy George and
everything in between. And "World Music" has even made some
impact. It used to be pretty exotic to hear a sitar in popular
music, now even didjeridoo are commonly heard.
In the sixties, it seemed like all of the really popular
groups came from Philadelphia. Then later, from England. But no
matter what country is producing the hot new musicians, you can
bet that the unusual will continue to become commonplace. Like
the fashion industry, novelty sells and long careers are rare.
The usual pattern is for a group to have one big hit, then never
be heard from again.
A musical Thank You this week to our SUNFUN chorus,
including: Jerry Taff; Fumiko Umino; Caterina Sukup; Beth
Butler; Timothy McChain; Karen J. Crooker; Mark Becwar; Ray
Sewel; Sue Yan; Carol Becwar; Rachel Caban and Peter Adler.
Special thanks to Eva Lu YuHwa, Sylvia Libin He, Hao Chunjie and
Mike Fagan & Tomoko Naito of MOKONET, Inc. for your kindness and
hospitality while I was on the road with SUNFUN. Time to get to
the main melody for this week, so I'll take a rest.
Have a Well-Tempered Week,
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OPENING ACT...
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Sometimes, fans will let you know just where they stand, as
singer Meredith Brooks found out at a recent concert in
Argentina. Chosen as the opening act for the Rolling Stones on
their "Bridges of Babylon" tour, the Grammy nominated singer
opened to critical acclaim at a recent concert in Buenos Aires.
Unfortunately, the acclaim was VERY critical, as the crowd
of more than 30,000 hooted and threw water bottles, batteries and
coins at the stage. The concert goers chanted "Come on Stones!"
-- they had come to hear the Rolling Stones, and were not
impressed by Brooks.
Brooks gave up after singing two of her scheduled ten songs.
At the next concert, she tried wearing an Argentine National
Soccer team shirt, hoping to win over the fans. It didn't help.
Maybe if she'd started with a little more pleasant number
than her hit tune, "Bitch." (Reuters)
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"I don't know what they see in us, really. I know it's
a good band, but there's loads of good bands."
- Rolling Stones lead guitarist Keith
Richards, on the band's enduring
popularity.
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HOW ARIA?
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Most operas are less than realistic. Think of some of the
famous ones, like "Madame Butterfly." Right - an American Naval
Lieutenant and a Japanese woman singing to each other
_in_Italian_. That gets almost surrealistic.
So you can't blame Milwaukee's Florentine Opera company for
trying to inject a little realism into their performance of "I
Pagliacci." They even billed the performance as one where "art
imitates life imitating art."
For added realism in rehearsing the famous stabbing scene,
they decided to use a genuine switchblade knife, sending opera
star Kimm Julian to the hospital with a very realistic stab wound
in the abdomen. Fortunately, Julian will recover completely. It
was, after all, just a rehearsal. (AP)
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THE [POLICE] BEAT GOES ON...
-------------------------
Ever ride in a car pool? One of the "little joys" of
sharing a ride is that you get to listen to the someone else's
choice of music. Not so bad if they like mainstream 60's rock,
but if they favor White Snake or Metallica, it will get on your
nerves in short order. If it's just for a commute, maybe you can
ignore it, but what if it's for eight hours at a stretch?
Two patrol officers were suspended in Charleston, South
Carolina recently, after nearly coming to blows over the choice
of music on their squad car radio.
The police chief ordered the pair to listen to at least an
hour of each other's music before returning to work. (AP)
[ Good thing it wasn't over Barry Manilow or
there might have been shooting involved. ]
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NAME THAT TUNE...
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What is it about country songs? They seem to have a weird
tendency to have the silliest titles. Think anyone would claim
any of these tunes as their favorite song?
- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You
Goodbye
- I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
- Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
- I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy
- Do You Love As Good As You Look
- If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On
You
- Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
- I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
- I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
- If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me Her Memory Will
- She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
- Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
- I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
- If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure
- You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
- It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad
- (Pardon Me) I've Got Someone To Kill
- Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
- "The Annual All Time Best of the
Worst Country Song Titles"
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
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COMPUTER MUSIC...
--------------
Sung -- as nearly as possible -- to the old Beatle's
song "YESTERDAY"
Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone
hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was, I couldn't say.
All my data's gone
And I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.
[ Sean Lennon's reaction? "Ono!" ]
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Do-it-yourself Country Song
---------------------------
Country and Western songs are fascinating, but there is a
definite sameness about them with similar patterns and themes.
Now that might sound like a disadvantage, but we can use it to
construct the Country Song Lyric Generator. Try it and see if
you don't snag the next County Music Award for best song...
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I met her _____(1)_____ _____(2)_____;
1) on the highway 2) in September
in Sheboygan at McDonald's
on probation ridin' shotgun
at a truck stop wrestlin' gators
in Outer Mongolia all hunched over
in a jail cell in thong underwear
in a nightmare sort of pregnant
incognito with her father
in a treehouse eating oatmeal
in a gay bar dead all over
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I can still recall ____(3)____ she wore;
3) that silly little hat
that burlap bra
the flower print dress
the stolen goods
the boxer shorts
that plastic nose
the army boots
that creepy smile
the hearing aid
the chicken suit
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She was _____(4)_____ _____(5)_____,
4) sobbin' at the toll booth 5) in the twilight
drinkin' Dr. Pepper but I loved her
weighted down with Twinkies by the off-ramp
breakin' out with acne having bad gas
crawlin' through the prairie with her cobra
smellin' kind of funny when she shot me
crashin' through the guardrail on her elbows
talkin' in Swahili with her shoes off
drownin' in the quicksand with a space alien
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and I knew _____(6)_____;
6) no guy would ever love her more
she would be an easy score
she'd bought her dentures in a store
that she would be a crashing bore
they'd hate her guts in Baltimore
that I was headed for the door
it was a raven, nothing more
we really lost the last World War
what strong deodorants were for
that she was rotten to the core
that I would throw up on the floor
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_____(7)_____ I'd _____(8)_____ forever;
7) I promised her 8) stay with her
I knew deep down warp her mind
She asked me if swear off booze
I told her shrink change my sex
The judge declared live off her
I shrieked in pain have my rash
The painters knew stay a dwarf
My hamster thought pick my nose
The blood test showed hate her dog
Her rabbi said drool on her sleeve
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She said to me ___(9)__; But who'd have thought she'd __(10)__
9) our love would never die 10) run off
there was no other guy grovel
man wasn't meant to fly boogie
that Nixon didn't lie black out
her basset hound was shy sky dive
that Rolaids made her high turn green
she'd have a swiss on rye yodel
she loved my one blue eye blast off
her brother's name was Hy make it
that birthdays made her cry bobsled
she couldn't stand my tie take a train
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____(11)____; ____(12)____ goodbye.
11) with my best friend 12) You'd think at least that she'd
have said
on a surfboard She told her fat friend Grace to
say
to Indonesia She sealed me in the vault and
smirked
with her dentist I guess I was too drunk to say
with a robot She fell beneath the wheels and
cried
with no clothes on She sent a hired thug to say
at her health club She freaked out on the lawn and
screamed
in her Maytag I never had the chance to say
with her guru But that's the way that pygmies say
while in labor Now I can kiss my credit cards
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OFF BROADWAY...
------------
You knew that it had to happen eventually. A guy named Alan
Glueckman has written a musical show about the Clinton-Lewinsky
scandal called (sit down, you're not ready for this), "Starr
Struck: A Musical Investigation."
The score by Stephen Bates features thirty original songs
based on the transcripts. Songs that the world has been waiting
for, like the blues tune, "Sax In the Oval Office" and the Linda
Tripp character singing the sad lament, "The Perjury Trap." [No,
I'm not making this up.]
Sample lyrics from the song "Sex Is Dirty" sung by the
character "Ken Starr:" "It's a fundamentalist fundamental, if
you think sex is fun, you're mental."
"We get below the surface of what everyone thinks about
these people, their emotions, their motivations. [There are]
moments that will put tears in your eyes," author Glueckman said.
[ OK, I have tears in my eyes. Laughing
counts, doesn't it? ]
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MUSICAL COMEDY
--------------
Here are a few interpretations of common music phrases
from grade school kids after their first music
appreciation class:
- "Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He
was rather large."
- "Refrain means don't do it. In music it's the part you
better not sing."
- "Henry Purcell is a well-known composer few people have
heard of."
- "Music sung by two people at the same time is called a
duel."
- "Caruso was at first an Italian. Then someone heard his
voice and said he would go a long way. And so he came to
America."
- "Aaron Copland is a contemporary composer. It is unusual to
be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are
dead."
- "I know what a sextet is, but I'd rather not say."
- "Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so
deaf he wrote loud music."
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© 1999 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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