Hi, Folks!
It's hard to get along without breaking a few laws... If
you don't go a little over the speed limit in most places, you'll
get run down by everything else on the road. But most of us are
pretty law abiding. We treat others well, pay our taxes, and we
don't give lighted cigars to dogs or other domestic animals. For
the most part, we don't whistle underwater or eat in restaurants
that are on fire, either.
Most of these laws are - well - stupid. They may have made
sense to someone at one time, but now they are either so out of
date or so overtly moralistic as to look silly. Some of them
make you wonder about the intelligence of the people that passed
them in the first place. As far as I could find out, these laws
are still on the books, though they are not enforced and police
and lawyers these days aren't even aware that they exist.
Thanks for contributions this week to the law abiding:
Caterina Sukup, Peter Adler, Bob Martens and Nnamdi Elleh. Now,
let's go out there and break some laws...
Have a great week!
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
QUICK, CALL THE FASHION POLICE!
------------------------------
- It is illegal in Florida to sing in a public place while
wearing a swimsuit.
- Men may not legally appear in public in any kind of
strapless gown in Florida.
[ Men in gowns with straps are OK... ]
- No man can legally go outside in Carmel, New York wearing a
jacket and pants that do not match.
- It's illegal to sleep with your boots on in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
- In Norfolk, Virginia, it's illegal for a woman to go outside
without wearing a corset.
- But, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from
wearing corsets because, the law states, "the privilege of
admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman
should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American
male."
[ They have Kennedys in that state? ]
GUARDIANS OF PUBLIC MORALITY...
----------------------------
- You may be arrested and fined for walking across a street on
your hands in Hartford, Connecticut.
- It is illegal in Zion, Illinois for anyone to give lighted
cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as
pets.
- It's against the law to burp or sneeze in a church in Omaha,
Nebraska.
- In Oxford, Ohio it's illegal for a woman to take off her
clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
[ Like a portrait of President Grover
Cleveland? ]
- A special cleaning ordinance in Pennsylvania bans homemakers
from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
[ Yeah, politicians are the experts at
sweeping things under the rug. ]
- A Portsmouth, Ohio law ranks baseball players with
"vagrants, thieves and other suspicious characters."
[ Someone there knew about Pedro Alomar? ]
- In England, stores cannot sell Bibles on Sunday, but they
are allowed to sell other books including pornographic
magazines.
- Related to the above 'Sunday Law' in England, it is illegal
to sell most goods on Sunday, (this law is mostly ignored),
it is, however, legal to sell a carrot. It is legal to sell
that carrot at any price and to give free gifts with it,
such as anything else you might want to buy on a Sunday,
such as a new car for a $15,000 carrot.
- A local ordinance in Cicero, Illinois, prohibits humming on
public streets on Sundays.
- Brockton, Massachusetts, requires persons to have a license
before they are permitted to enter a sewer.
- It is unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining in
Holyoke, Massachusetts.
- Hotel rooms in Sioux Falls, South Dakota are required to
have twin beds, and the beds must always be a minimum of two
feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night.
[ The electrified fence divider is optional... ]
- In Logan County, Colorado, It is illegal to kiss a sleeping
woman.
- In Liverpool, England, there is a law making it illegal for
a man to dress or undress a department store female
mannequin, if children are present.
- It was illegal to sell ET dolls in France because there is a
law against selling dolls without human faces.
[ I guess that means they can't sell Michael
Jackson dolls, too... ]
- In Tulsa, Oklahoma kisses lasting more than three minutes
are against the law.
- A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance
on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least
three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
[ Like cast steel underware, maybe? ]
ILLEGAL EATS...
------------
- It is against State Law in Massachusetts to put tomatoes in
clam chowder.
- A Chicago law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
- Mourners at a wake in Massachusetts may not legally eat more
than three sandwiches.
- In Marshalltown, Iowa, horses are forbidden from eating fire
hydrants.
- Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any
bar or restaurant in North Dakota.
- In the State of Kentucky, it is illegal to transport an ice
cream cone in your pocket.
- Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his
sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds
(23 kg.)!
- In order for a pickle to meet the legal definition of a
pickle in Connecticut, it must bounce.
- It is against the law to sell doughnut holes in Lehigh,
Nebraska.
UNNATURAL LAWS...
--------------
- A Kirkland, Illinois law forbids bees from flying over the
village or through any of its streets.
- Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked in Tampa
Bay.
- It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate
limits of Urbana, Illinois.
- The Arkansas legislature passed a law making it illegal for
the Arkansas River to flood higher than the top of the Main
Street bridge in Little Rock.
[ Next they're going to pass a law to put
more time between sunrise and sunset... ]
HAIR APPARENT - Odd Hair Laws...
-----------------------------
- Women in Florida may be fined for falling asleep under a
hair dryer. The salon owner can be fined, too.
- A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her
husband's permission in the State of Michigan.
- Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without
having a state license in Oklahoma.
- Arkansas law prohibits teachers with "bob" hairdos from
getting pay raises.
- Females in Carrizozo, New Mexico are strictly forbidden to
appear in public with unshaven legs or face.
[Watch that mustache, lady... ]
- In Eureka, Nevada, anyone wearing a moustache is forbidden
from kissing women.
[ What about a woman with a mustache? ]
- An Omaha, Nebraska law makes it against the law for a barber
to shave a man's chest.
SOMETHING FISHY IN THE LAW...
--------------------------
- No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
- Seattle passed an ordinance that states that goldfish can
ride on city buses in bowls only if they keep still.
[ They had to do something to stop all those
goldfish riots... ]
- It is against the law to fish from horseback in Utah.
- In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love
while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
- It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish in Tennessee.
[ What, fish rodeos? ]
- In the state of Washington, it is illegal to molest a fish.
MISCELLANY...
----------
- In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife
with a leather belt or strap, as long as the belt is no
wider than 2 inches (5 cm.), unless he has his wife's
consent to beat her with a wider strap.
[ Sounds like Los Angeles... ]
- In Massachusetts, it is unlawful to deliver diapers on
Sunday, regardless of emergencies.
- It's illegal to take a lion to the movies in Baltimore,
Maryland.
[ Otherwise known as the 'MGM' Act. ]
- Its against the law to whistle underwater in Vermont.
[ Huh? ]
- Biting someone with your natural teeth in Louisiana is
"simple assault," while biting someone with false teeth is
"aggravated assault."
[ Taking a bite out of crime? ]
- Kansas has a law that reads: "When two trains approach each
other at a crossing, they shall both come to a full stop and
neither shall start up until the other has gone."
[ Hmm... They must have a pretty nice
collection of trains by now. ]
- In 1659, the State of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
[ By Order of Governor Nathaniel Grinch? ]
--:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)-----:-)--
© 1997 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
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