Hello again, All!
Well, we had our first real snow of the season... Enough to
cover the ground, anyway. And the O.J. Simpson civil trial has
been very big in the news here. I suppose history will call the
thing last year the 'Uncivil Trial'? No matter... All of this
talk about legal matter, plus the fact that I have been called
for jury duty this week made me start thinking about the legal
process as a topic for this craziness. So many strange things
happen in the law, from the time a law is passed up to the time
it is fought over in court. And, as a great advantage to making
up a column like this, almost all of it is written down and
reported in newspapers.
Special thanks this week to Dick Ginkowski, Kerry Miller,
Peter Adler, Bob Martens and Howard Lesniak. Now, off to
court...
Have a great week,
==:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)==
A PROSECUTOR'S TALE -
This week's dumb crook award winner is Eddie Lashon Flowers
of Waukegan, Illinois.
Two police officers were in a Kenosha, Wisconsin gas station
arresting a shoplifter when a woman drove up and said she was
being followed by a man in a Buick. She gave the officers a
description of the car and the license number.
Moments later the car that had been following her drove into
the parking lot. With two squad cars present, Eddie gets out of
the car and starts yelling at the woman. The dutiful police
officers pull Eddie off to the side to question him and find a
screw driver in his jacket pocket. Then they noticed that the
driver's side window was broken out of the car he was driving,
the steering column was "peeled" and there were no keys in the
ignition yet the Buick was still running. Eddie was arrested for
auto theft.
Moral of the story: if you're going to steal a car, don't
approach the police and act like the southbound end of a
northbound horse!
[ Dick Ginkowski - Assistant District Attorney in Kenosha
County ]
==:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)==
QUOTES FROM ACTUAL TRIALS -
(In the following, the lawyers questions are Q: and
witnesses answers are A:)
-------------------------------------------------
THE COURT: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all
present information and prejudice from your minds, if you
have any.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: What is your brother-in-law's name?
A: Borofkin.
Q: What's his first name?
A: I can't remember.
Q: He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't
remember his first name?
A: No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness
chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's
sake, tell them your first name!
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Are you married?
A: No, I'm divorced.
Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A: A lot of things I didn't know about.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Were you alone or by yourself?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A: I will be three months November 8th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you and your husband doing at that time?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
A: Four times.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
A: All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Were you acquainted with the deceased?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: Before or after he died?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn
in?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can
identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?
A: No.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A: No.
Q: What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A: Picking them up in the air.
Q: Where was the dog at this time?
A: Attached to the ears.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was you first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to
and were able, for the time being excluding all the
restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have
brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and
shot.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: So you were gone until you returned?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not,
where there was a victim?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Where there girls?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: ...and what did he do then?
A: He came home, and next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it
looked like, but can you describe it?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the
body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started at about
8:30PM.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?
A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty
drunk.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a
murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A: The victim lived.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: How long have you been a French Canadian?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.
-------------------------------------------------
Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that
picture.
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
==:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)=====:-)==
© 1996 by Bill Becwar. All Rights Reserved.
![[ BACK]](btn_rwdr.gif){kind=small}
![[NEXT]](btn_fwdr.gif){kind=small}